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  1. #31
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by petesgirl View Post
    Ok, so I regularly have random questions for my child's teacher. Sometimes I enail beforehand and ask if I come after school, sometimes I just pop in after school and we discuss my question in 30 seconds and then just chat for 10 more minutes. Could this be something like that, if next year's teacher agrees to it, where you just schedule a 'parent meeting ' and then use it for the technique? Do you think it could be done without the admins knowing that is what the teacher is really doing?
    Another idea, if your school does in person parent/teacher conferences every quarter, could you use your alloted time for this, since your DD'S grades probably need a lot of attention as she is a good student?
    That is really good point and DH was actually thinking along these lines ...he was thinking he could become the room parent for next year and then do it off the books in that way.
    He could help teacher set up for things so that she wouldnít need to use her planning time for it. Things like that. DH schedule tends to be way more open than mine during the day/week.

  2. #32
    mom2224 is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    Great ideas so far, especially your DH being the room parent. Does the technique need to be done in the classroom? I was wondering if you could work with the teacher completely off the books. Maybe hire her and meet somewhere other than the classroom (playground, parking lot).
    Mom of 4 boys.

  3. #33
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    This may be a silly question, and I mean no offense: does the technique need to be done at school? Could you ask the teacher to meet you after hours and just pay him/her? Almost like you ďran intoĒ the teacher in the world. Iím thinking like ďprivate tutoringĒ.


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  4. #34
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    I agree that you may be able to pay the teacher to meet with your DD outside school time. I know our music teacher does private piano lessons for students as a second job so at least in our disctrict it must be allowed.

    Also, just curious--would the fade in allow DD to actually speak during class? I imagine she doesn't speak in front of people, not just doesn't speak to people? So maybe she can learn to speak to teacher in an empty classroom but will she be able to speak to the teacher in front of a couple dozen kids that can also hear her?
    momma to DD 12/08 & DS 3/13

  5. #35
    bisous is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    OP, Iím sorry youíre going through this. Unfortunately I have experienced working with a school that just decides they will put their foot down on something for no good reason whatever and when you reach that point itís extremely hard to get them to move the dial at all. It makes me realize that so much of what we receive in the way of accommodations is really according to the good will of the school!

    We did eventually need the help of an educational lawyer. When we enquired about the process it was extremely expensive and we lucked out in getting lawyer BIL to draft a serious sounding letter and used a contact we had, a well known education lawyer in the community and merely had to mention her name and the accommodation was made after we contacted the school board.

    All this to say, you might be able to get permission/help on this but you might need to involve a lawyer. The advantage to involving a lawyer is that you help everyone that comes after you with similar problems. The disadvantage is the time, the expense, and the strain with the school.

    And just so you know, we got our accommodations for our current year and then ended up switching to a charter school that was 180 degrees different in helping with our issue! Iím still glad we pushed on our issue though. Good luck!

  6. #36
    bisous is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Oh and also I think you have a case for an IEP. As youíve said, there an oral component to the tests allowing DD to pass from one class to the next. If she canít talk, she canít complete that requirement. Itís unacceptable that their workaround is using your DS! So yeah, Iíd push for IEP for sure!!

  7. #37
    hbridge is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    Oh and also I think you have a case for an IEP. As you’ve said, there an oral component to the tests allowing DD to pass from one class to the next. If she can’t talk, she can’t complete that requirement. It’s unacceptable that their workaround is using your DS! So yeah, I’d push for IEP for sure!!
    THIS!!!! Using a sibling as a workaround is NOT okay! It may actually be illegal since the school is disrupting your sons education. Also, your son deserves to NOT have to take care of his sister at school, it's not good for either of them.

    Your DD needs an IEP, ASAP. Put in writing that you want the district to do the testing needed for an IEP. Depending on the state, this can take a LONG TIME. We submitted a full neuropsych in early January and the IEP was not put in place until May since the district had to do their own testing, ect. So get the process started now.

    Hugs to you and your sweet kids. Your wonderful son is working so hard to help out, that's not his job and is only going to make it harder for your daughter to receive the services she needs.

  8. #38
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    thanks all! i have talked a bit to other parents on this since school got out (school has been over for more than a week now). it does seem like she needs an IEP. one possibility i heard was having pediatrician write a note recommending her for services (that is what one mom recommended) - but our ped isn't aware of her going to seeing therapist for SM. not sure if it has to be a ped or a therapist could write this.

    that is a good point about how my DS should not be used in that regard. it never bothered me honestly but now thinking about it, i should totally use that to leverage another reason dd needs the fade-in with the new teacher.

    on a positive note, our principal did get a chance to talk to district specialist on SM about what this intervention could look like..should know in some weeks what the outcome of that discussion was. sadly, this one specialist (who is the one person in the district who has expertiste in SM) is retiring, which really sucks. it is hard bc very very very few people understand SM, even after explaining it to people in simple terms. It is probably the least understood disability, even though it's so friggin basic. I will literally tell people "she has an anxiety disorder where she cannot talk in certain situations" and people get down and TRY THEIR HARDEST to get her to speak. Like they want to be the magic unicorn whisperer that gets her to talk. It is so INFURIATING. Seriously, WHAT IS IT with adults wanting to demand a child talks to them?? It is not "rude" if a child doesn't speak to you. OMG....this needs to be drilled into adults' heads.....

    today dh went to summer school open house (summer school starts tmw) and there was only 1 hour of "open house" to talk to the teachers there about DD"s SM. DH was good and printed out a handout to give to teachers showing what they can do (not for doing fade-in, but just not to punish her for not speaking). bc dh had to be there and ds had swim team practice at same time had to leave work super early to pick up my DS. Dude, i have no idea how folks with multiple kids and/or multiple therapy appts do it!!
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 06-03-2019 at 06:39 PM.

  9. #39
    niccig is online now Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Default update on dd's 504 saga

    Quote Originally Posted by [emoji813
    ms.pacman;4335432]thanks all! i have talked a bit to other parents on this since school got out (school has been over for more than a week now). it does seem like she needs an IEP. one possibility i heard was having pediatrician write a note recommending her for services (that is what one mom recommended) - but our ped isn't aware of her going to seeing therapist for SM. not sure if it has to be a ped or a therapist could write this.

    that is a good point about how my DS should not be used in that regard. it never bothered me honestly but now thinking about it, i should totally use that to leverage another reason dd needs the fade-in with the new teacher.

    on a positive note, our principal did get a chance to talk to district specialist on SM about what this intervention could look like..should know in some weeks what the outcome of that discussion was. sadly, this one specialist (who is the one person in the district who has expertiste in SM) is retiring, which really sucks. it is hard bc very very very few people understand SM, even after explaining it to people in simple terms. It is probably the least understood disability, even though it's so friggin basic. I will literally tell people "she has an anxiety disorder where she cannot talk in certain situations" and people get down and TRY THEIR HARDEST to get her to speak. Like they want to be the magic unicorn whisperer that gets her to talk. It is so INFURIATING. Seriously, WHAT IS IT with adults wanting to demand a child talks to them?? It is not "rude" if a child doesn't speak to you. OMG....this needs to be drilled into adults' heads.....

    today dh went to summer school open house (summer school starts tmw) and there was only 1 hour of "open house" to talk to the teachers there about DD"s SM. DH was good and printed out a handout to give to teachers showing what they can do (not for doing fade-in, but just not to punish her for not speaking). bc dh had to be there and ds had swim team practice at same time had to leave work super early to pick up my DS. Dude, i have no idea how folks with multiple kids and/or multiple therapy appts do it!!
    For an IEP evaluation, you put a request in writing. A doctors note wonít get a child services at school as dr prescription is for the medical setting, schools donít take Dr prescriptions. I get them for kids saying child has certain speech or language disability (no testing done by the doctor to prove this) and to give speech therapy x times a week. I canít do anything with just that!! I need parent request in writing and then parent has to sign the assessment plan form before I can even go look at the child. Then I have to test to see if child meets state education code eligibility requirements. If they do, then I recommend therapy frequency, not a doctor. Heck even in private practice, a doctor canít tell me how often to see a patient for therapy, thatís determined by the treating SLP.

    A letter from your therapist would be useful to have included in the evaluation. Iíd even sign exchange of information form, so school staff can talk to the therapist. All that information should be included in her evaluation. If sheís had any evaluations by outside providers, give those copies. They must be considered, but schools do not have to accept their recommendations. Schools must follow the stateís education code, least restrictive environment and free and appropriate public education; outside providers do not follow any of that, so the recommendations can be different.

    You can give a letter requesting an IEP first day back at school if you want to. You do not need a dr letter to get the process started.






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    Last edited by niccig; 06-03-2019 at 09:22 PM.

  10. #40
    cuca_ is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default update on dd's 504 saga

    OP, if you are going to request an IEP, I would send the letter now and get the process started. IME school district offices are open and working for several weeks after school is over. Once you submit your request, the school has to follow a specific timeframe. You want this timeframe to start running ASAP, so that if your daughter qualifies, the IEP is in place as early as possible in the school year. I would also submit any evaluations and diagnosis at the meeting. While they are not binding, the school must take them into consideration.

    Good luck!


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