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  1. #11
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My DS with executive functioning deficiencies, some attention issues, and major anxiety won't be getting a permit any time soon. I think we will wait until 15.5 to start practicing/learning at the earliest. Some friends are chomping at the bit and get their permit immediately after turning 14. That is not for us. I agree with lots of practice, but knowing WHEN to start will be key for us also.
    K

  2. #12
    o_mom is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I would start the process and get a permit whenever he is eligible in your state and take opportunities for low-risk trips as they come. If you don't get the permit, you miss those opportunities. You don't have to decide right away what the whole process will look like. See how he does, let him get comfortable and make the time to practice. Getting a permit doesn't mean he has to drive the freeway to school right away. It can mean a Saturday afternoon trip to the park when traffic is low and you are on side streets without a time pressure.

    We started with DS1 about a month after he was eligible. It took a few months to get through the online classroom portion, then getting him to the DMV for the permit, several parking lot sessions on the weekend, and then behind the wheel instruction. He just finished all that about 9 months after he was first eligible (15 here), but we are not rushed and we have found many opportunities to have him drive in the meantime. He still has another 6 months before he could get a license and we will see where he is at that point.
    Mama to three boys ('03, '05, '07)

  3. #13
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    Thank you for posting this! So far, DGS is doing well with the behind the wheel instructor, but I am concerned about him driving after dinner when his medication has worn off. I am also worried about him having a teen passenger (Nj allows on non related passenger during the probation year) with him as he is easily distracted.

  4. #14
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    FYI- you might not have "as long as you'd like" with the permit. It expires in 12 months here and they have to redo the permit application and test if they haven't gotten their license by then so read your state rules. Also, in my state, kids are required to have their permits for 6 months before they are allowed to test. A minimum amount of supervised driving is required as well, including bad weather and night time.

  5. #15
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    Update from the other side!! DS took his driving test on Friday. On Saturday there was a crisis in our house--no more hot dog buns. So he and his sister drove to the grocery store (~3miles away) and bought food. I am proud of myself--I didn't vomit from the anxiety!!! It took us 13 months to get to this point. We even had to renew the learners permit. No big deal. He can't drive with friends for at least 6 months. He will need to drive his sister to the summer camp they both attend during the month of July. (again, 2-3 miles away) DD said he drove well. I think having her in the car will help him. DH thinks she could be a distraction. (she is the more responsible of the 2 of them!)

    It's just going to take practice and driving the same route over and over to gain confidence. On his third drive with an instructor, which he completed the day before he took his test, he drove 45 minutes on the freeway and did fine. (I am so glad he told me this AFTER he did it!!!) So, yes I am nervous. But sometimes they do surprise us and rise to the challenge.
    Mom to:
    DS '02
    DD '05
    Simon--the King Charles cutie
    RIP Andy, the furry first child, 1996-2012

    "The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."

  6. #16
    mom2binsd is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Very timely, just got home after a 30 min drive with DD 16, she has her permit. Here you have to have your permit for 9 months, complete 30 hours of live classroom (not online) and 8 hours BTW and 8 hours observation BTW. She's done all that, and can take her test in Sept (which will help so she can drive herself to 5:15 swimming and hockey practice), we just need another car by then too.

    She has ADD, and was a bit worried that she hadn't taken her pill today (she was with her dad this weekend and I picked her up halfway between). She did fine, she is very cautious and mindful of the rules. I hate driving with her as a passenger, she is so critical!!!!

    She and her boyfriend were in a bad accident a few months ago, not her boyfriends fault (he's 17, been driving for about 9 months) the other driver literally smashed into them, and flipped over them. The police told us she handled herself so well, stayed calm and helped her boyfriend stay calm as he was so worried he had caused her to be hurt. It took a few weeks before she was able to get back behind the wheel.

    State Farm has a pretty good app that monitors driving skills, it's something a lot of people use here (esp as State Farm HQ is here).

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