Sports practice during dinner time

[PZMommy]

OP, I get where you are coming from. My kids don’t do sports because we can’t handle the week night practices. They really aren’t into sports, so it works out fine for us. We managed to do swim lessons but only because those were on Saturdays. We get home around 4 or 4:30. At this point my kids have at least an hour of homework, not including 20 minutes of reading. We have a strict 8 pm bedtime, because we have to leave the house by 6:15 in the morning (so they are up by 5:30). There is no wiggle room. We don’t have family to help, and can’t afford a nanny. My kids’ school offers some great after school enrichment classes that they can do before I pick them up. My youngest has been taking drum lessons for several years now, and my oldest does chess and coding. I don’t feel that they have missed out on anything by not doing sports. It just isn’t a priority for our family. You need to figure out what is the priority for your family and then do what is best.

[westwoodmom04]

OK, here is the article for those that won’t to read it.
http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc...=rep1&type=pdf
I think you are overstating their findings. First, it was written in the late 90’s and was based on male graduates on the class of 1972. Youth sports have changed so much in the last 40 years. They cite studies that find different results, or results that only apply to white, college educated males. I think it’s a bit of an over reach. Just like saying sports decreases substance abuse issues. The data is very mixed on that one.

I’m not saying sports is bad, or you shouldn’t encourage it. I worry that statements like this will make parents feel their kids NEED to be in sports to be successful, they don’t. Having a child make it to high school I found that by the end of middle school it was almost impossible for him to continue his major interest and do sports in HS because of the unrealistic time demands.

The Barron article has been cited more than 200 times since it was first published. Many seem to support the original conclusion, such as this 2009 article. https://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...67629609000575. I spent 30 seconds looking at google results, I imagine one could spend a lot of time doing a comprehensive analysis. The few I pulled up were consistent with the original findings.

[TwinFoxes]

OP, I get where you are coming from. My kids don’t do sports because we can’t handle the week night practices. They really aren’t into sports, so it works out fine for us.

The difference is OP has mentioned in previous threads that her DS loves baseball. I think that’s why so many of us are trying to figure out how OP can make it work.

[basil]

OP here.

Funny turn in this thread here

Yes, my DS LOVES LOVES LOVES baseball. Practice got cancelled both nights this week due to rain. He was crushed. It’s not for any perceived benefit of his future income. Though DH and I have had discussions like wow, how do normal people make this work? Without a nanny we would be screwed.

My DH didn’t sign up without discussing it with me. It’s that the website was not that specific on the time required...it said something like “games are on weeknights” and DH assumed that was one night a week, not 3. I promise it was not a nefarious plan to uproot my schedule. DS just made the cutoff due to his August birthday (he is 7, most kids are 8-9) so we initially thought he couldn’t do it then kind of signed up on a whim under an incorrect assumption which is partly our fault, partly the website could have been a little more specific about the schedule.

Next week there are 2 games until 7:15 and a practice til 6:30. I’m going to do some prep over the weekend and see if I can’t come up with some meals we can eat during the game. I usually prep my lunches for the week so maybe I’ll just double that up.

[khm]

It usually is a bit of a rude awakening at first, especially if he's playing with older kiddos. He's jumping right into increased amount of practice.

I, too, remember saying, "But, that's dinner time! Why can't they have it at X time?"

But, it is just how it works. There are SO MANY teams vying for field time and coaches that also have full-time jobs, it can never possibly shake out for the "perfect" time for everyone.

You honestly just adjust and find a way. Embrace the crazy. Embrace quicky meals. Swap drives with another parent.

Heck, I remember calling it a win when our practices aligned with games and the concession stand was open. Concession stand pizza for dinner, yay!

[smilequeen]

OP, I get where you are coming from. My kids don’t do sports because we can’t handle the week night practices. They really aren’t into sports, so it works out fine for us. We managed to do swim lessons but only because those were on Saturdays. We get home around 4 or 4:30. At this point my kids have at least an hour of homework, not including 20 minutes of reading. We have a strict 8 pm bedtime, because we have to leave the house by 6:15 in the morning (so they are up by 5:30). There is no wiggle room. We don’t have family to help, and can’t afford a nanny. My kids’ school offers some great after school enrichment classes that they can do before I pick them up. My youngest has been taking drum lessons for several years now, and my oldest does chess and coding. I don’t feel that they have missed out on anything by not doing sports. It just isn’t a priority for our family. You need to figure out what is the priority for your family and then do what is best.

It doesn’t have to be sports but most parents do, I think, want their kids to be able to explore some sort of passion. If you can get it at school, it’s a win, but sometimes you can’t. I remember the OP saying her DS was very passionate about baseball, which is why they probably want to make it work.

Kids can’t follow every whim to the detriment of the family, but I think it’s important, if you can, to let them go for at least one thing. If your son really loves it, seeing him happy and enjoying himself will ultimately make all the sacrifices worth it. Trust me, there is nothing like watching your kid do something they really love.

[westwoodmom04]

OP here.

Funny turn in this thread here

Yes, my DS LOVES LOVES LOVES baseball. Practice got cancelled both nights this week due to rain. He was crushed. It’s not for any perceived benefit of his future income. Though DH and I have had discussions like wow, how do normal people make this work? Without a nanny we would be screwed.

My DH didn’t sign up without discussing it with me. It’s that the website was not that specific on the time required...it said something like “games are on weeknights” and DH assumed that was one night a week, not 3. I promise it was not a nefarious plan to uproot my schedule. DS just made the cutoff due to his August birthday (he is 7, most kids are 8-9) so we initially thought he couldn’t do it then kind of signed up on a whim under an incorrect assumption which is partly our fault, partly the website could have been a little more specific about the schedule.

Next week there are 2 games until 7:15 and a practice til 6:30. I’m going to do some prep over the weekend and see if I can’t come up with some meals we can eat during the game. I usually prep my lunches for the week so maybe I’ll just double that up.

This is a typical baseball schedule, as kids get older, multiple practices and/or games a week become the norm in most sports. Serious swimmers are practicing nearly every day while still in elementary school.

I can see how this is a big change for your family, but many families are juggling two, three, or more kids with evening sports. My kids are often playing two sports or for two teams (school and travel) a season. It just takes flexibility and a willingness to car pool. Even if you don’t know the other families beforehand, it is usually possible to find a nearby family once the team is set for those who don’t have nannies. Often teams stay together for multiple years, especially at the travel or club level.

[DualvansMommy]

Sounds like a good plan, OP. This is normal though, it isn’t that the website is not clear. They don’t know that far out due to competing times for field, coaches availability etc to have exact times and days posted on website.

We got DS1 signed up for travel club soccer, without knowing exact days and times for practices. All we know is that most games will happen on Sunday for his team, but practices is 2x a week weeknights. TBA until closer to Sept once coaches put in their availability, field availability etc etc. so many moving pieces moving around all the time.

I highly recommend you download TeamSnap app to both your & DH’s phones. Any league/travel team coach have that to post times, cancelled games, any relevant information about practices. Etc. Ask the baseball league and your sons team if they have it for their team. You can also export their calendar dates of times, dates to your phone compatible calendar.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[hbridge]

OP, please know that it's hard. The schedule adjustments are really hard on everyone.

However, whether your kids end up with sports schedule or not, have a selection of easy meals that can be made when there are evening activities. There will be many "dinner time" activities in your future. MANY activities are 6-8, 7-9 type time slot. Sometimes later, sometimes earlier. Even school sponsored events are often in those times slots.

Try to work some flexibility into your evening schedule to accommodate. It is HARD. Kids get burned out, we get burned out... If your nanny can help, get her to help !

Kids NEED to follow their passions...it's important! We need to support them, but it can be tough. Keep supporting.

PS DC's favorite meals are "this and that".... cheese, bread, raw veggies, fruit, hard boiled eggs... they love it

[trales]

For me the hardest part of having an older kid in any activity is the total lack of communication and set schedules and advance notice. I have learned to go with the flow, but I got here kicking and screaming.

Example, DD1 (12) is doing theatre camp this week. We live in a very rural area with NO shopping, the closest grocery store is 25 minutes, the closest walmart is 35. We got an email that they needed white keds like shoes on Monday- DD wears a 2 shoe, thank god for prime shipping. We got an email at 5pm last night that they need a nude leotard, nude lipstick, "natural" eyeshadow. At 630 this morning I was in the make up aisle of rite aid. As for the leotard, no way I could get that, I sent an email to the whole parent group (many of these kids are dance kids) and asked if someone had a spare size 10 leotard hanging around they could bring today for her. I hope someone did.

Sometimes we get emails at 2pm saying that ski practice was changed to another location and instead of pick up at location X at 5pm, we now needed to pick up at location Y at 830pm.

I totally feel your pain, it is the hardest adjustment ever and leaves me grumbling and swearing in my empty car on the way to pick ups so I can have a smile on my face when I get there.

My compromise is that the family dinners that we do have together I make special, a few nights a week, we have cold picnics and re-heated foods. I would kill for a whole foods or a place that does healthy pick up.