...and best way to help/coach DD!
We are at the community pool right now. DD is almost 11, heading into 6th grade. There are 4 girls from her school here, all playing together. One girl used to be a very good friend (has been over for multiple sleepovers) but they were not in the same class last year and didn’t really hang out. (I think the friend found other friends in her new class, and moved on from DD). Another of the girls sat at the same lunch table as DD all of last year, has been over to our house to play (but hasn’t reciprocated). DD has always been shyer/reserved, and struggles with joining/breaking into groups. She will consider certain girls to be her good friends, but I don’t think those girls consider DD to be at the same level - which breaks my heart!
She is pretty tight lipped about social interactions in general, but I’m sure it’s hurtful some of these girls that she considers friends kind of moved on and don’t reach out any more.
Anyway, I pointed out to her that the girls were here and asked if she wanted to say hi. She said “nah” and moved on to another part of the pool. I’m sure that if one of them came over and asked, she would immediately join in. But none of them are.
I wish she were confident enough to go up to them and say “hi guys, what are you doing? Can I play?” I feel like it’s a vicious cycle, interactions like this keep undermining her confidence and make me feel like there are deeper issues at play. I don’t want to meet her feel bad about feeling shy, or intimidated, but I do want to encourage her to try!
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