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  1. #11
    nfceagles's Avatar
    nfceagles is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    My 11yr old DD is no better. She only showers and washes it when I tell her to (and I frequently have to remind her to scrub better) and she will leave it I unbrushed all day long if I donít do it or make her do it. She also isnít capable of doing it well. She brushes the length straight down around her face, misses knots in the back, and never touches the crown/part area. I know I should be fostering more independence but the worst is when I try to do it and she says, ďI already did my hair!Ē Then I have to decide whether to hurt her feelings or grin and bear it and applaud her independence. In her defense, her hair is difficult. Nothing like my fine straight hair. Hers is Curly in the back, straight on the top and sides, full of cowlicks, tangles like crazy.


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  2. #12
    mmsmom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Same for my 10.5 DD. It’s a serious negotiation every time we go for a trim... I think she needs 2 inches cut off and she only wants 1/2”. I try to send secret signals to the stylist but it never works. She has a comb in shower that she is supposed to use to comb through with conditioner but I do not think she is doing it or not doing it well. Then she complains that her hair is always tangled.

    One thing that helped is I just took her to my hair stylist. It was the first nicer place she has been to... until now it’s been kids cut places. They did a deep conditioning treatment and her hair was so soft and smooth afterwards. She didn’t even notice that they cut 2” off. I told him to cut as much as needed for it to be healthy. She was so happy with how her hair looked and is now more motivated to keep it nice.

  3. #13
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    No help but commiserating. My 9 year old was wanting longer hair. I've kept it chin length because she had the thinnest, slowest growing hair ever. It was past her shoulders and she was getting decent at her own ponytail this summer, but still having issues really brushing and washing. She agreed to trim above shoulders and last minute went to as short as her ears. She's so happy it's easier to brush now and I'm not nagging her.

    So, I'm no help.

  4. #14
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    My DD was about 12 and 7th grade when she started caring about it more. Her hair was to her waist and through 7th, she did a good job of keeping it well brushed. She has fairly thin, easily tangled hair. She chopped it a couple weeks ago and I think she will be much happier with short.

    DS1 has long hair and it's super thick and straight. He is 15. He struggles to get the part right behind his neck combed well enough. He showers daily and shampoos/conditions it. But there is just so much of it! So about every 2 weeks, I get the new tangles out for him. He does pretty well, but it's just an awkward spot for him to reach and do a great job.
    Kris

  5. #15
    fauve01 is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by twowhat? View Post
    If you have a girl (or boy) with long hair, at what age should you be able to reasonably expect them to actually take good care of their hair?

    Mine are almost 11 and they take terrible care of their long hair. We are constantly nagging them to brush it in the morning, and to scrub their scalp well in the shower. It doesn't help that they have asian hair/scalp and are getting to that age where they really need to wash the scalp well to keep the oil/smell at bay and they need to use some [email protected] conditioner on the ends. If they had curly hair I'd probably continue to help them for a little longer, but they have SUPER easy straight smooth soft hair.

    I'm sick of nagging at them and DH is even sicker of it and wishes we could just cut off all their hair. I would honestly love to say something like "if you can't take good care of your hair on your own, we will get it cut to shoulder length." But something tells me that's not entirely a good move either. Right now their hair goes to just below the shoulder blades so it's not even THAT long, and they want to keep growing it. The other thing that bugs me is that they will not smooth their hair out of the way when they eat! DD1 is especially bad and her hair goes into her food all the time. No one ever puts in a ponytail unless I make them.

    Help!
    I would absolutely make my DD get a haircut if she wasn't able to to take care of her hair herself and if she wouldn't let me help. The hair in the face at dinner is just ICK. I would say something like"if you cannot manage to keep your hair clean and styled smoothly (or something) then you will need shorter hair until you can." and i would absolutely spell out exactly what you need to have happen-- make a list of bullet points, or a numbered routine, or a checklist or SOMETHING, and then POST IT.

    Tangles might just be a result of needing a lot more conditioner, and some with more "slip." Also, have them braid hair before bed and that might help with the mats and tangles. A haircut will *definitely* help her being able to brush and the tangle situation.

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