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  1. #1
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default I feel like a single parent

    DH works long hours-usually 10-12 hours so I know that he is busy and tired after work but he doesn't remember anything I tell him about the kids! He doesn't remember that I talked to him about signing DS up for soccer, he is always surprised when we get home late on Wednesdays because the boys have swimming lessons-even though swimming has been on Wednesdays for the last year and a half! He never remembers what school events are going on, and I guess that's just because he knows he can't make it to them but it would be nice to feel like he cares.
    I'm extra frustrated this morning because I have the first appointment with DS's therapist for ADHD next monday. I've asked DH to take the day off because the appointment is 2 hrs long right at my toddler's naptime and I just don't imagine it will be easy to take the toddler! (And before you ask-no, I don't know anyone who can watch him, all of my neighbors work :/)
    Well, this morning I asked DH if we had gotten Monday off. I just got a blank stare and a "What's on Monday?"
    So, yeah, it looks like I get to fight this ADHD battle all alone because clearly it isn't important to DH.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  2. #2
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    (((hugs)))
    I've gone through those phases too! It's hard when they're little!

    Unsolicited advice- I bet there are some drop in day care options around. There are a few near me- one operated out of a hospital and a few church based plus some independent. Might be an option??

  3. #3
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    (((hugs)))
    I know the feeling (see my post in the lounge from a few days ago about DS), and it can be really discouraging and daunting. I hope you're able to figure something out for Monday.
    ~ Dawn
    Our little monkey (4/2011) & his early holiday present 12/12

  4. #4
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    I'm sorry. That sounds super frustrating. Is it too late to get part of Monday off? Or call in that day or something? Seems he should be the one figuring out something to help you out!
    Kris

  5. #5
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    (((hugs)))
    I've gone through those phases too! It's hard when they're little!

    Unsolicited advice- I bet there are some drop in day care options around. There are a few near me- one operated out of a hospital and a few church based plus some independent. Might be an option??
    I do have a few friends who maybe could watch him, but he doesn't know them well and he is going through a mom-only phase right now. He even cries when I leave him with DH but I know he settles down after a few minutes. With people he doesn't know he will scream and cry until I get back. I just don't want to be worrying about him while trying to figure out a therapy plan for DS.

    Hopefully know that I have reminded DH about he will talk to his boss today and try to figure something out.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  6. #6
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrisM View Post
    I'm sorry. That sounds super frustrating. Is it too late to get part of Monday off? Or call in that day or something? Seems he should be the one figuring out something to help you out!
    Unfortunately he can't do part days. He is a delivery driver for UPS so it's all or nothing. He can call in that morning and see if they enough help to not need him.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  7. #7
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    I'm sorry. You know, even if you had all the childcare options in the world to help with DS2, it wouldn't make it feel less lonely if DH seems so uninvolved/can't remember. That would drive me crazy and make me feel like I wasn't being heard. So sorry!

  8. #8
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by specialp View Post


    I'm sorry. You know, even if you had all the childcare options in the world to help with DS2, it wouldn't make it feel less lonely if DH seems so uninvolved/can't remember. That would drive me crazy and make me feel like I wasn't being heard. So sorry!
    You're right, this is more about feeling supported and like DH cares about the kids and their struggles. Because right now I don't think he has even given a thought to the struggles DS1 is going through.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  9. #9
    elbenn is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I totally get why this would be super frustrating. I don't know your DH, but I bet there is a good chance that you are doing such a good job at managing things that he feels like he can just leave it all to you. But he should've asked for Monday off--next time, put a reminder on his phone so he remembers your request.

  10. #10
    jgenie is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I remember this phase so clearly. I’m sorry you’re DH dropped the ball. Fingers crossed he can make it on Monday. Hugs to you.
    for Carmen

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