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Thread: would you move

  1. #1
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    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Default would you move

    Would you move your family (kids in middle and high schools -- freshman year) across country for 2x salary and enough stock to retire on (I don't yet have an offer so this is imaginary money at this stage). Back story is that I am interviewing for a very sr level role. DH has been not paid for 3 years (well 2, he had severance) he is working to start a company but so far not drawing a salary. He could do this job anywhere. I am feeling stressed about lacking a second income and having more/"enough" to retire on. We live in a lovely neighborhood with fabulous friends (the kind of friends who travel together). Kids are very happy and doing well here. Our area is very walkable. I grew up in the region so know people here from decades ago. DH is not from here. We would be moving to an area (San Diego) where we know no one.

    Would you move? What would you consider? Thanks!

    ETA I HATE the winters here. HATE them, they depress me (really). I would like to be able to walk outside every day. I also don't see retiring in New England as I want to be able to be outside more often than I am.
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    mommy111 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Moving to the West Coast is a dream for me, a fellow New Englander (again, mostly weather related. I don’t hate winters, but do hate how they restrict outdoor activities, and we love the warm sun here). To be able to do it at 2x salary......wow!! The only thing that I would consider is the freshman....if he is OK with moving and you can get him the support to manage, I would go for it.
    '...everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the Last of the Human Freedoms, the ability to choose one's behavior in any set of circumstances, the Freedom to Choose One's Own Way.' -Viktor Frankle

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    nfowife is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    What’s the salary range? Can you afford to rent a home in a good school district that does not have a ridiculous commute (it’s expensive there). Are your husband and kids on board?
    M, mommy to A 2005, E 2007, and L 2010

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    Yes, without hesitation, as long as the salary is really still a lot better after cost of living adjustments.


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    Yes, as long as you are prepared for the housing market, which will make Boston look cheap. But I love California and also hate winter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by westwoodmom04 View Post
    Yes, as long as you are prepared for the housing market, which will make Boston look cheap. But I love California and also hate winter.
    I’d also budget for private schools, I think you’ve gone that route previously? California does not find its public education system the way Massachusetts does.

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    Kindra178 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My only hesitation in your story is that public schools in Cali don’t seem to offer the same type of services as other states. Massachusetts is the best education state in the nation and do cutting edge ideas well (udl). I will let the natives speak on this issue but I have been shocked at things like Bisous’ mention that the schools don’t have a social worker and Nicci’s posting of language test scores and at what level a student can get help.

    I agree with you on the weather. I really think raising kids in Ca would be easier...


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    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    You haven’t given me many positives except money. Guess it all depends on your priorities. With your kid’s ages I’d be inclined to bring them into the decision.
    How will the new job do with work/ life balance? Ds1 is about to be a senior and he’s needed a ton of time- activities, college stuff,... there’s always something! Just worth factoring in. It’d also suck to be in your office all the time when there was gorgeous weather to enjoy.


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  9. #9
    trcy is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by gymnbomb View Post
    Yes, without hesitation, as long as the salary is really still a lot better after cost of living adjustments.


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    Yes, this is my thoughts exactly!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kindra178 View Post
    My only hesitation in your story is that public schools in Cali don’t seem to offer the same type of services as other states. Massachusetts is the best education state in the nation and do cutting edge ideas well (udl). I will let the natives speak on this issue but I have been shocked at things like Bisous’ mention that the schools don’t have a social worker and Nicci’s posting of language test scores and at what level a student can get help.

    I agree with you on the weather. I really think raising kids in Ca would be easier...


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    Yes! I lived in Boston pre kids, really love that area and just how well funded the state is generally. Main difference is while winter isn’t my favorite season, I’m ok with it mainly because I live in the Mid Atlantic area. I also recall one of your kids go to a special private school for his educational needs? Will San Diego have that?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    You haven’t given me many positives except money. Guess it all depends on your priorities. With your kid’s ages I’d be inclined to bring them into the decision.
    How will the new job do with work/ life balance? Ds1 is about to be a senior and he’s needed a ton of time- activities, college stuff,... there’s always something! Just worth factoring in. It’d also suck to be in your office all the time when there was gorgeous weather to enjoy.


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    We were in the same shoes as you guys were 3 years ago. I posted a thread here about a potential move to SD for DH’s senior promotion from his job. While the salary was really high, like yours, and HCOL to HCOL we ultimately decided to pass it on and stay on where we are. Even after the COL adjusting, it’s still tight for us. It also meant more frequent trips back home East coast and Ireland due to our elderly parents.

    With your kids ages, I would have their opinions weigh in as well. I also felt like for us to be making a big cross country move, we wanted a decent commute, decent size of a house to have guests, and be near the beach. Your current community sound very desirable, minus the weather in that it’s a walkable community. You’ll be shocked at the insane amount of driving you’ll have to do just to get around in SD.



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