would you move

[basil]

I wouldn’t.

I have too much here..too much family, friends, etc.

And while 2x salary SEEMS like a lot and it is a lot I’m past that point where more money makes me more happy.

But I personally don’t mind most of the winter (though March can be tough). And I would love to try living in California but once my kids are grown I think.

Am I mistaking you for someone else, don’t your parents live with you? How would that work?

[TwinFoxes]

A lot of people move to San Diego and think "why didn't I do this before?" It's full of transplants. But the schools really are an issue. However, Poway has its own school district, it's not part of SDUSD.

A previous poster mentioned in another thread that SD is conservative, and in general that is true. I don't know what your politics are. I just googled, and Poway's congressperson is a Democrat (which definitely surprised me).

I'm a Californian at heart. There is so much I miss about it. If we were given the chance to move with 2x the salary we definitely would. SD wouldn't be my first choice, even though I grew up there, but I'd still move.

[Snow mom]

For me it would really depend more on how much I needed that money. We are a single income family (by choice) in a not inexpensive area of MA. My DH is by no means a high income earner but we make it work. I wouldn't trade a lot of what you mention for more money. We cut expenses rather than look for higher income. If you are really jazzed on SD or the job itself would be higher quality of life maybe. Otherwise it seems like a lot to give up for money.

[SnuggleBuggles]

For me it would really depend more on how much I needed that money. We are a single income family (by choice) in a not inexpensive area of MA. My DH is by no means a high income earner but we make it work. I wouldn't trade a lot of what you mention for more money. We cut expenses rather than look for higher income. If you are really jazzed on SD or the job itself would be higher quality of life maybe. Otherwise it seems like a lot to give up for money.

That’s what I think too. Quality of life is worth so much to me and OP will have to do some thinking about whether uprooting life for some more money (which may or may not be that much once cost of living is factored in) is worth it. OP didn’t mention the job being really awesome/engaging/exciting... like I said, all I heard was one real pro- money. I’m not that swayed by it. I’m sure it was hard to go from 2 incomes to one but I bet things are really better than they feel. I’m sure I’m seeing it through the lens of someone who works very part time and have almost always been a one income family. We have what we need as a lot of what we want (but no regular winter trips to tropical paradises... ). Everyone has different priorities and goals though. I know money strew is big but how much money will it really take? And can you get that kind of $ with a new local job and stay put?


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[jgenie]

For me it would really depend more on how much I needed that money. We are a single income family (by choice) in a not inexpensive area of MA. My DH is by no means a high income earner but we make it work. I wouldn't trade a lot of what you mention for more money. We cut expenses rather than look for higher income. If you are really jazzed on SD or the job itself would be higher quality of life maybe. Otherwise it seems like a lot to give up for money.

These are my thoughts. If my DH were to come to me with the idea to move, he would have to be chomping at the bit crazy about the new job. I would be worried that you would be required to work more hours in the new position and wouldn’t be able to enjoy the benefits of the move. By the time you factor in housing prices, private school and services for your DC you might find it isn’t really double what you’re bringing in now. If my kids were out of the house, I would seriously consider it.

[westwoodmom04]

Op didn’t only say more money, she said enough stock options to alone fully fund a retirement AND twice the salary. I’ve live in Boston and California and the weather makes a huge difference in qol. I also think people on the west coast are much friendlier and generally happier than new Englanders. The only sticking point is the schools, and with enough money, that isn’t a problem either. But I’ve lived in many different cities and think a change every 5 to 10 years is great. Others obviously feel differently.

[anonomom]

I would seriously consider it.

One note about asking kids’ opinions – we moved last year, within town. Our kids didn’t have to change schools, or even school buses. DD1, who was 12 at the time, was adamantly against moving. Like, crying about it for months. We listened to her concerns but we moved anyway, and she is now so happy. She loves our new neighborhood more than she ever love her old one. She just doesn’t like change. So while I would be respectful of your kids’ concerns and listen to whatever objections they might have, I wouldn’t necessarily consider them dispositive.

[KpbS]

I would seriously consider it.

One note about asking kids’ opinions – we moved last year, within town. Our kids didn’t have to change schools, or even school buses. DD1, who was 12 at the time, was adamantly against moving. Like, crying about it for months. We listened to her concerns but we moved anyway, and she is now so happy. She loves our new neighborhood more than she ever love her old one. She just doesn’t like change. So while I would be respectful of your kids’ concerns and listen to whatever objections they might have, I wouldn’t necessarily consider them dispositive.

Yes to this. I too would seriously consider it. You can still travel with and to the good friends. Extra income increases your ability to do these things.

And while it’s important to listen to the kids and love them well, as the parents you make the decisions. I wouldn’t move a high school senior if it could be helped, but everyone else is fair game. Change is hard but it can be really great too. Schools will be important factor to discern which setting is best for your DSs. Sounds like lots of choices though!

[Globetrotter]

If you are sure that it’s still such a huge increase given the change in cost of living, housing in particular, then it’s worth considering. Of all the things you’ve mentioned, one thing that gives me pause is uprooting the kids and the school Issue. If you’re going to do it, this is the time. It’s not easy, but it’s relatively easier to move in freshman year vs later, since people tend to switch at high school level. They won’t be the only new kid in town. As for the quality of education, as you know CA has a funding issue, and if you’re coming from MA you might be disappointed, but there is still variation between districts. Definitely consider your local options before moving and factor in private school if needed. We make public school work, so for me it’s not a deal breaker.
I’m a Californian through and through, after moving from cold places, and I do think that (aside from the hcol!) the weather and quality-of-life are much better here, especially if YOU are fed up with the northeastern QOL. You can stay active outdoors almost round, and you don’t have to deal with snow and bundling in layers.
As PP said, you might have to drive a lot to get around, and traffic can be terrible. Will you be working longer hours? FYI, SD is more conservative than other big cities in CA, which may not be an issue for you, and the demographics are changing.
You seem ok with leaving your network, but for me personally that would be my number one concern. I don’t even want to leave my neighborhood 😀

[mom2binsd]

So the senior would have to move and not graduate with his class? I'd find a way for that not to happen, I have a junior and she'd hate to move at this point.

I'm not familiar with exactly the services your son needs at school, many private schools do not provide much and are not very accommodating at all, meaning public is the way to go.

If you will be the main income earner will you be working long hours, traveling, and away from the kids more than you want? How will it change the family dynamic?

The weather is nice, but have the winters made you look at moving before or is it just this opportunity?

It would be hard for me to leave the community that you've described.

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