How many hours would you work?

[bisous]

My job wants to know how many hours I want to work. I feel so fortunate in that respect! Right now I'm working about 10 hours. It has been challenging during the summer. My older kids are watching my younger kids for the most part with some grandparent help and sometimes I bring DD with me to work and I plan the optimum hours (I go in super early while most are still asleep). Tomorrow, all four kids go back to school. Currently I only have about ten hours worth of work to do. My boss is saying he can give me more--if I want them.

I know I should want them!! Heaven knows we could use the income. Part of me wants to stick with ten hours because I just want a break. After 15 years of full time kid duty, it feels so luxurious to not be in charge of anyone for a few blessed hours! I want to catch up on organizing my house and exercise with my sisters-in-law and read novels. Part of me is actually worried that I'll fall behind on my household stuff. I live in a tiny house, with a little budget that relies on me to do all the cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc. I like to be good at doing that and that's what has really fallen by the wayside this summer. I feel like if I don't give myself enough time for planning, shopping, etc. I can easily eat into the money that I'm making at my job, if that makes sense. I only get paid $20 an hour so I don't bring in a ton of income. I also want to be very available and present for my kids. That's a huge priority for me. But part of me thinks that with better planning I could handle the household stuff AND the extra hours but probably not the fun stuff (organizing, exercising, reading) and I'm feeling guilt.

The total amount of hours I could work factoring in my commute and the kids schedules is something like 20 hours per week. I am currently working 10. And remember, right now I don't have 20 hours worth of work. My boss just thinks he could give me more responsibilities to add up to 20 hours.

Would you do it? Would you increase your hours?

(And please excuse me if I'm being insensitive! I know many of you work well in excess of 40 hours and make it all work so what I'm saying probably sounds lazy and ridiculous! You can tell me if that's the case. I probably need to hear it. For the past three months I've just planned on keeping my hours and having some "me" time so this is both a blessing and a bit of shock to get offered more hours!)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Do you have to to decide right now? How about cut the difference at 15?

[marymoo86]

Do you have to to decide right now? How about cut the difference at 15?

I agree with this. Try 15 - which if you work daily is an extra hour. Give yourself time to adjust and see how that impacts your daily routine and if it is worth the extra $100 before taxes.

[mikala]

I'd keep your 10 for now because I think it may be harder to "give back" the extra responsibilities if you decide the extra cash just isn't worth it for your family. Once the kids are back to school and you've gotten into a groove you could see whether adding hours here or there is doable.

Fwiw I don't think your desire for a little flexiblity and breathing room is selfish. You've been at this gig for many years with four kids and some special needs in the mix and there's a residual exhaustion that builds up. I'm coming off of a few very intense kid years and feel a little selfish because I'm looking at more childcare than I *need* this fall but I know it will give me a buffer to get stuff done, do stuff around the house I can't do with little interruptions (like painting!) and better juggle last minute kid appointments, parent health stuff, etc.

[hbridge]

I would keep the 10 for now and see. For me, the optimal outside the home is 15 hours. I did 20 hours a week for a few years and it was too much (adding on commuting and before care dropoff, it mas more like 27Hours), 15 would have been perfect. HOWEVER, you truly never know what the kids will need and flexibility is the key.

Having multiple kids and/or kids with unique needs makes a difference. I quit my job when things at home started to unravel. My child struggled for quite a while right after I left work. I timed it well. However, if I had a flexible job and was working 10 hour weeks I could have made it work.

[DualvansMommy]

Since it’s your first year having all the kids out of house and in school, I don’t think there’s any harm in saying you want to keep 10 hours and revisit the issue after New Years. It’s not selfish to want some time for yourself after many years of having kids in the house.

I went back to work PT with 20 hours a week last year when DS2 entered Pre-K. I loved it! It’s a bit of everything; time for myself & health, time for the house and all relevant tasks and work. I was asked if I had any interest to increase my hours this fall, and I said yes as DS2 will be in full day kindergarten. But I made my own stipulations though, I wanted to work from home 3 days a week and go in office 1 or 2 days as the commute is 40 mins long.


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[newnana]

I'm one of those moms that works 60+ hours a week and is also responsible for all the stuff you have listed - cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etc. If it's any comfort at all, I want to emphasize it's okay to be selfish, especially coming off a time that was more difficult to manage. Going into a new situation tired and stressed is a hard way to go about it and my not result in optimum performance in all arenas and certainly decreases my self satisfaction. Nothing in my house runs the way I'd want it to and it drives me crazy, but right now I don't have the luxury of workload choice. It is what it is and we make the best of it.

Is there any potential to ask to revisit this question in a month or two? Adjusting to the first couple weeks of school is hard for everyone. The kids are exhausted. Working out the details of extracurricular activities can be a challenge. Give yourself time to do some of the things on your list and see how you feel in a few weeks? Plus consider what happens when school is out again next summer and you've picked up more responsibilities, is there the opportunity to scale back again then? Is there any opportunity to leverage the extra hours working at home so the commute isn't a factor?

Really, it's okay to be selfish! Do what you want and let the kids settle into school and then see how you feel in a couple weeks. You may want more hours when you have had a little space from the current crunch. Or you may not.

[twowhat?]

How long is your commute? Is there any possibility of working any hours from home? How flexible are those hours? (e.g. could you choose to work 15 hours in 3 days? Or spread 15 hours over 5 days, however is best for you to be able to split work and personal time)? How helpful would an extra $100 a week be? If you agree to more hours and then decide it's not working, would it be frowned upon for you to ask to go back to 10 hours? All those things would factor in if I had to decide.

I would love...LOVE...to have dedicated time for organizing, cleaning, planning, cooking, shopping for the family in addition to dedicated me time so I don't think that's lazy or insensitive of you at all to want those things. And I will say that having a clean and organized house is actually a major stress reducer (when the house is messy and disorganized, it causes EVERYONE stress even if they don't recognize it). So I think it's really important for emotional well-being and if you are in a situation where you can have dedicated time for that, then great!!!

[Kindra178]

Twenty hours is really manageable if he has the work for you. Agree with others - step up to 15 and see how that goes.


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[carolinamama]

What happens should you want to return to 10 hours? Is that possible? To me it would also depend on how many hours I could fit into a day - for example - could you work 5-6 hours x 3 days and then have 2 days for errands/housework/yourself? Plus I would want to minimize the commute to fewer days. Will it stay flexible enough if you have sick kids?

Do not feel badly about having your own time. You deserve it!