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  1. #11
    boilermakermom is offline Bargain Alerts forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by MMMommy View Post
    Cash, all the way! Or something off their registry (ordered through the registry and sent directly to wherever the registry dictates).
    Same for us. Registries for showers. I do not think I have ever brought a gift to a wedding.

    $200 sounds good to me!!!

  2. #12
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    Chiming in to say I agree, $200 cash for DH to attend, since he works with the CEO, sounds more than reasonable. Not sure how senior your DH is, but that's pretty generous for a colleague (and presumably subordinate) of the bride's father.

  3. #13
    gymnbomb is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by smiles33 View Post
    Chiming in to say I agree, $200 cash for DH to attend, since he works with the CEO, sounds more than reasonable. Not sure how senior your DH is, but that's pretty generous for a colleague (and presumably subordinate) of the bride's father.
    I was also thinking it sounded very generous, but based on what I've read here both what I give and what I got for wedding gifts are much lower than average. The only people we got (cash or gift value) more than $50-100 from were our parents, one set of grandparents, and my uncle whose family of 4 all came to our wedding.
    DS 2/14
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  4. #14
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    AnnieW625 is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by gymnbomb View Post
    I was also thinking it sounded very generous, but based on what I've read here both what I give and what I got for wedding gifts are much lower than average. The only people we got (cash or gift value) more than $50-100 from were our parents, one set of grandparents, and my uncle whose family of 4 all came to our wedding.
    This was us too in California in 2003. I usually give a physical gift and have it sent to the house if there is a registry. I gave $100 to a close childhood friend who got married recently, which still seems normal here.

    We got $1000 from my in laws and most other cash was definitely $100 or under. Again I think itís regional.


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  5. #15
    Jeanne is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Echoing this. $200 cash for this region and situation. It's not too low or high so as to make it awkward.

  6. #16
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by boilermakermom View Post
    Same for us. Registries for showers. I do not think I have ever brought a gift to a wedding.

    $200 sounds good to me!!!
    You don't usually bring the gift to the wedding. Just buy off the registry and have it sent to their house.

  7. #17
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    I still think $200 is generous for a work colleague who doesn't even know the bride and groom (even if OP's DH is COO, CTO, or some other C suite officer to the bride's CEO dad--it's super generous if OP's DH is not a senior executive making a very comfortable salary).

    I agree it varies by region and by "culture"/community. Back in 2002, we received several $200-$500 cash gifts from my parents' friends because Chinese culture is to give cash and give very generously (even if those friends had never met me or DH before!). My relatives gave us $500-$1,000 each. DH's relatives (some of whom are 4th gen Chinese American so basically American) gave us random items NOT on our registry as gifts (e.g., crystal candleholders, wine glasses, and an obviously re-gifted stainless steel teapot that probably cost $10 from one cheapskate uncle). Our friends, most of whom were just starting out and had only been working 1-2 years (with significant professional school debt), all bought items off our registry which was very thoughtful and generous of them.

    When DH and I go to weddings in our part of the country (CA), we give at least $200 cash (even if it's a random person we don't know as well) and give more if it's family. I rarely even look for a registry anymore as the last few wedding invites explicitly included a line on their wedding website (where I went to RSVP) that they don't have a registry but would appreciate cash gifts. Isn't that considered super tacky? Sigh. I guess I'm old-fashioned in not explicitly asking for cash on a wedding invite or website!

    I think I read on the Weddings Bargains board that NY area folks tend to be cash focused, while those in other areas of the country are more registry focused. Anyhow, hope OP's DH at least has other colleagues at the wedding to hang out with since OP can't go!
    Last edited by smiles33; 3 Weeks Ago at 06:51 PM.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    You don't usually bring the gift to the wedding. Just buy off the registry and have it sent to their house.
    Tell that to the gift table at my wedding.


    I do find it fascinating how wedding culture varies so much throughout the country. Similar to a PP, my biggest cash gift was a $75 check from one uncle. I canít even begin to imagine giving $200 in cash. Other people canít imagine bringing a toaster to a wedding. Lol
    DS: Raising heck since 12/09

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by carolinacool View Post
    Tell that to the gift table at my wedding.


    I do find it fascinating how wedding culture varies so much throughout the country. Similar to a PP, my biggest cash gift was a $75 check from one uncle. I canít even begin to imagine giving $200 in cash. Other people canít imagine bringing a toaster to a wedding. Lol
    I agree! Your norm is more like my norm for weddings back hoe in Ireland, itís usually modest gifts whether off registry or cash. Families tend to chip in for bigger ticket items since bridal showers isnít really a thing as well. So to say I was pretty stunned when I started attending friends and DHs family weddings in metro NY/NJ and was absolutely floored at the generosity from his family over cash gifts. Still canít wrap my mind around it sometimes, but itís becoming my norm though and prefer the couple gets cash to do whatever they can with it.


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  10. #20
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    AnnieW625 is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by carolinacool View Post
    Tell that to the gift table at my wedding.


    I do find it fascinating how wedding culture varies so much throughout the country. Similar to a PP, my biggest cash gift was a $75 check from one uncle. I canít even begin to imagine giving $200 in cash. Other people canít imagine bringing a toaster to a wedding. Lol
    We had a gift table too in 2003 and got a fair amount of gifts at the wedding, and some others delivered.

    I was in charge of the gift at my BFFs wedding in 2005 and there were a lot of gifts. I was also in charge of the table at my brotherís wedding in 2014, but this time no one brought gifts to the wedding. Even if there are no gifts there is always a basket of cards.


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