I feel so bad for DD1

[anonomom]

She just has the worst luck in school classroom placement. She just got back from 8th grade orientation, and has found that she doesn't have a single friend in any one of her classes. I feel awful for her -- she'd been so excited when I dropped her off, and I picked her up totally dejected and no longer looking forward to school. And it's not like she only has one friend; she hangs out with 10-15 kids consistently, and yet somehow not one of them ended up in any of her classes.

If this were a single-year occurrence, I wouldn't have all that much sympathy, but it has happened to her almost every single year of her school life. I keep trying to tell her (and myself) that that's a side effect of being in a large school, and that every year she ends up making new friends, but I can tell she isn't buying it this year. In the meantime, I'm just hoping desperately that at least a few of her friends have the same lunch period.

[georgiegirl]

Ugh, that sucks! How big is the school? We have about 400 kids in 8th grade, and my DD is in a similar position. She knows one girl in math (not a close friend) and one girl in Spanish. None of her friends are in her other classes (except for band, but none of the other percussion girls are in her section...all boy percussionists, who she thinks are exceedingly annoying.). She’s dreading this year. Hopefully it will turn out better than expected for both of our girls.


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[mmsmom]

I understand she is upset but there is so little time for socializing in class itself anyway. Lunch will be important and before/after school.

[div_0305]

This is my son's experience from middle school and now for 9th grade--just got schedule today. It's really strange! Most of the kids have some friends in classes, but he never has any. He says it only matters to him that he has some friends who have the same lunch period, and that's mostly the case. I know boys and girls can be different about these things, but it hasn't affected him apart from the initial "dang it, again!" feeling.

[Kindra178]

I totally get it. Dealing with a similar situation now. I do feel that middle school classes seem to have way more collaborative / group work type atmosphere than when I was middle school, and that makes no friends way worse.


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[alootikki]

I’m sorry - I can totally commiserate! Every year DD is placed with new kids, makes some friends, and is not with any of them the next year! Meanwhile it feels like other kids are always put with their same little clique.

I even spoke to the guidance counselor about it this year. She admitted that “they treat placement for some kids much more delicately than others” and promised that she’s put DD with some friends this upcoming year.

Guess what - she didn’t! It really sucks


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[WatchingThemGrow]

Oh, I totally feel for her. It makes looking forward to class so much more fun when you've got someone you already know there.

My DS2, only 5th grade, went to meet his teacher. He didn't have any friends in the new class. When we saw the principal and she asked if he met his teacher, he burst into tears, saying that he didn't have a single friend in there. She felt so badly that she wrote me tonight and said she'll look at placements tomorrow and talk with the gifted teacher to see if anything can be done. I replied that he'll make new friends, and I'm certain he will get to know some of the new students like he always does.

My other 2 are praying they have some shared experiences with friends in middle school, but once they're started, they should make some friends doing group assignments, right???

[KpbS]

Oh that totally stinks. I guess I had a pretty small school and ended up with at least a couple of friends in all of my middle school classes. Any way to get her schedule changed? I would totally be in the counselor's office requesting some changes ASAP. Not much to lose in asking.

[KrisM]

That stinks. It always feels better to know at least one friend in a class. But maybe there is someone and she doesn't realize it yet. I know my kids check schedules with their good friends, but there are those other friends who they are friendly with, but not so close they compare schedules. It seems those kids end up in their classes enough to make it okay. I hope that happens for your DD.