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  1. #21
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    If I were your mom, I would toss the invite and send a simple card of congratulations, wishing them well.
    K

  2. #22
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    JBaxter is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by KpbS View Post
    If I were your mom, I would toss the invite and send a simple card of congratulations, wishing them well.
    I would probably hand write a Christmas card wishing them a happy marriage Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  3. #23
    bisous is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by petesgirl View Post
    Actually, I think it comes down to the money for my mom. My parents are not wealthy. They are stable, but live on a tight budget. Still, my mom enjoys giving nice gifts and watches sales very closely for nice bath towels and serving dishes. So she may be able to give a $100 gift that she only paid $50 for because she watched sales and stacked codes etc. But I think she feels like when you give cash you need to give a significant amount for it to look nice, and that's just hard to do on a budget.
    But, she told me she vented about and now she is going to go to the celebration and be happy for them.

    My DH just reminded me of the time a few years ago when my other cousin made a gofundme for IVF. He emailed the link out and my mom decided at the time that she couldn't contribute due to finances. A few days later the same cousin called my mom and asked if she would please donate to his gofundme. So she felt backed into a corner and did it. Maybe it's just my family....

    I do think it's rude to try and dictate what gifts people give you, unless the guest asks for that info.
    Oh I can so relate to your mom. I cannot under any circumstances afford to be as generous as many people on this board are for weddings. But I'm good at putting thought into things and shopping sales which is 100% NOT evident in a cash gift.

    I have family and friends that do tacky things all the time. I mostly just love them anyway. But I confess this one really rubs me the wrong way!

  4. #24
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    ITA with all the pp that it is tacky.

    Reminds me of my former roommate over 11 years ago. When she moved out (because I was getting married) and bought her own place, she threw herself a housewarming party. At the bottom of the invitation she printed, "Lowes gift cards accepted." DH and I still laugh about how tacky that was.

    Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
    spoiled wife
    mom to gregarious DS1 1/11
    mom to active DS2 5/13
    mom to DD 12/16

  5. #25
    MMMommy is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Totally tacky to outright ask for cash and include venmo account info. VERY TACKY.

    I'm not shocked or surprised nowadays, as people really have no shame at all.
    Mommy to Two DDs
    Member of the BBB I Love Brussels Sprouts Society

    (Why? Because the banana smilie is just so funny)

  6. #26
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by gcc2k View Post
    ITA with all the pp that it is tacky.

    Reminds me of my former roommate over 11 years ago. When she moved out (because I was getting married) and bought her own place, she threw herself a housewarming party. At the bottom of the invitation she printed, "Lowes gift cards accepted." DH and I still laugh about how tacky that was.

    Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
    Oh wow! I just could never even bring myself to do something like that!
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by gcc2k View Post
    At the bottom of the invitation she printed, "Lowes gift cards accepted." DH and I still laugh about how tacky that was.
    I don't know why this cracks me up so much.
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinFoxes View Post
    I don't know why this cracks me up so much.
    We joked that maybe it meant she wouldnt accept Home Depot GCs!

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    spoiled wife
    mom to gregarious DS1 1/11
    mom to active DS2 5/13
    mom to DD 12/16

  9. #29
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    Ha! This thread reminds me of the wedding invite that not only asked for cash, but said if they didn't get cash, then they weren't going on a honeymoon. This is an old family friend (a guy I literally grew up with as his parents and my parents were close friends). I was hoping it was his wife's influence, but he was known for being frugal, too. It was so obnoxious and rude and this was more than 15 years ago!

  10. #30
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    I got married in Northeast 14 years ago, and hated having anything on the invites regarding gifts. It's a big no no to me. Cash is just a given around here, for wedding receptions. Not gifts off registry which is usually given at bridal showers, but i also think it's part of the new norm with couples getting married much later and usually established on their own with property and stuff for the home.

    This is why cash is still king because it covers a lot of ground when china set and such isn't really practical. I prefer to give something that I know the couple wants. Like a recent family wedding; DH's cousin son got married but they already had a condo with all the stuff, so they just had a small registry to replace/update their tastes and asked for money towards airfare for their honeymoon. That wasn't dictated on the invite though, but in their wedding website which is the way to go if you're asking for specifics.

    But as for your mom, she isn't obligated to give anything.
    Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14

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