Therapist - how much "distance"?

[JustMe]

I know you have already gotten good advice and have an idea of what to do, but just wanted to add something as a therapist. If you decide you otherwise want to work with this therapist, you can have a conversation with her about how you and your daughter would like her to interact (or not interact) if you see her outside of sessions. Acknowledge you/greet you or not? Have any kind of conversation (not related to therapy) or not talk at all. These are things you can pre-arrange so you and your daughter are the most comfortable; the therapist would likely bring this up if you contact her anyway, but just wanted to point this out.

[MSWR0319]

I would imagine in small towns or rural areas, it is quite common to know your therapist, since there aren't likely many to choose from.
This reminded me of Lake Bells character in Bless this Mess. She starts a scrapbooking group and does group and individual therapy with the women in town who don't want to see a therapist.

We live in a rural area, and while I didn't know DS's therapist, I soon found out that she was his teacher's sister-in-law. Oddly enough part of the reason we were there was because of the amount of pressure his teacher was putting on students and how DS was handling that pressure. While she didn't say anything specifically about her sister-in-law, I did get the impression that she fully understood how intense his teacher was and I think it helped her work with DS because she knew what he was experiencing.

I never really thought about interaction outside of the office though. It does explain why she totally blew me off at Walmart once when I saw her. I thought maybe she was just didn't remember me.

[elbert]

OP here to close the circle on this, DH and I actually met with the therapist I “know” today and it was great. I actually think the level of familiarity we had with one another and our community was perfect, as it still felt entirely professional yet was comfortable and I felt like I didn’t need to describe the broader social context which DD occupies. Thanks for the discussion on this.


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[pinkmomagain]

OP here to close the circle on this, DH and I actually met with the therapist I “know” today and it was great. I actually think the level of familiarity we had with one another and our community was perfect, as it still felt entirely professional yet was comfortable and I felt like I didn’t need to describe the broader social context which DD occupies. Thanks for the discussion on this.


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Glad it worked out!

[corrie23]

OP here to close the circle on this, DH and I actually met with the therapist I “know” today and it was great. I actually think the level of familiarity we had with one another and our community was perfect, as it still felt entirely professional yet was comfortable and I felt like I didn’t need to describe the broader social context which DD occupies. Thanks for the discussion on this.


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Glad to hear that it went well. As another therapist chiming in, this is an issue that the therapist should have experience with handling. If she doesn't bring it up with you on her own, you can certainly ask how you or your daughter should approach "out-of-office" interactions so that there is no discomfort around the unexpected run-in since there is some overlap with kid/social circles. I generally tell clients that if they see me out and about, I will not acknowledge them but they are welcome to say hi to me (or not) and I will not be offended either way (and they shouldn't be either). I add however that if I am with others (e.g. my family) and they say hi to me, it may limit my ability to maintain confidentiality to an extent because my family knows what I do for a living and if some random person walks up to me and says hi, and I can't say how/why I know them, it may be fairly obvious. If there is a situation in which the therapist's overlapping roles (e.g. therapist and PTA president at the kids' school) impacts/is likely to impact the client's comfort or the therapist's comfort/objectivity, the therapist is ethically obligated to refer out (if known in advance) or eliminate the conflict in the client's favor if at all possible if something arises down the line (e.g. if the therapist realizes that the guy she just started dating is the client's ex-boyfriend, she has to break it off with the guy-and she can't tell him why because that would be breaking the client's confidentiality).