WWYD: How to be nice about this?

[Melaine]

My sister is pregnant (yay!) with their third child and my dad's coworked (very kindly) wants to make her a big personalized baby gift.

I saw a picture and I honestly said, "what is it?". To put it politely, it's NMS. To put it frankly, it's ugly.

Two issues come up:

1) She wants to personalize it with a name and my sister is keeping their name a secret from everyone.

2) It's a useless item (purely decorative, but like I said, not attractive) and my sister is like me, pretty minimalist and things have to have a purpose to get kept.

She doesn't want to offend the lady. But she would 100% throw this thing away. Is there any way to politely decline a gift like this? Is it better to say yes but I'm not sharing the name or is there any other way out? Hoping someone else has a magic solution that won't offend or be totally wasteful!

[SnuggleBuggles]

If she already made it, there is no way to decline it, imo. You just have to nicely accept it, take a photo of baby with it and write a great thank you card (with picture) then donate it. Don't throw it away!!!
Yes, tell them the name is a surprise. She might wait to hear the name to personalize then gift after the birth. Up to the gift giver.
It's really not for us (gift receivers) to dictate what one can give, right? Just be gracious even if it isn't to your taste.

[Melaine]

I don't believe she has made it. She shared a pic of a different one she made for another child. But I am sure you are right. I am all about accepting all gifts graciously, this just seems particularly wasteful since it will be personalized!

[MSWR0319]

I think it's rude to just say that you don't want it. I would just share that she's not sharing the name and let the giver decide how they want to handle it. When the gift is given, do as said above and once the thank you note is written she can do what she wishes with the gift, even if that means throwing it away. I'd definitely try to find somewhere to donate it though if the name isn't super uncommon.

[khm]

My sister is pregnant (yay!) with their third child and my dad's coworked (very kindly) wants to make her a big personalized baby gift.

I saw a picture and I honestly said, "what is it?". To put it politely, it's NMS. To put it frankly, it's ugly.

Two issues come up:

1) She wants to personalize it with a name and my sister is keeping their name a secret from everyone.

2) It's a useless item (purely decorative, but like I said, not attractive) and my sister is like me, pretty minimalist and things have to have a purpose to get kept.

She doesn't want to offend the lady. But she would 100% throw this thing away. Is there any way to politely decline a gift like this? Is it better to say yes but I'm not sharing the name or is there any other way out? Hoping someone else has a magic solution that won't offend or be totally wasteful!

Pinterest is FULL of stuff that is NMS, but is apparently SOS (someone's style).

Who knows, your sister might love it. It might be the one pop of crazy in her minimalist decor.

It is basically not your issue to worry about. There's no nice way for you to tell the giver that you don't like it and you don't think your sister will either.

Let the giver give it. When your sis doesn't want it, she is free to thank the giver politely, and then ditch it as she sees fit.

[Melaine]

Pinterest is FULL of stuff that is NMS, but is apparently SOS (someone's style).

Who knows, your sister might love it. It might be the one pop of crazy in her minimalist decor.

It is basically not your issue to worry about. There's no nice way for you to tell the giver that you don't like it and you don't think your sister will either.

Let the giver give it. When your sis doesn't want it, she is free to thank the giver politely, and then ditch it as she sees fit.

Sorry, my sister asked me what to do, I see how that was unclear. I’m 100% not a part of the situation.

[twowhat?]

Tell her the baby is named something super common. Emma. Madison. And then donate it to an Emma or Madison.

Just kidding.

There's really nothing she can do. Definitely don't share the name of the baby (that's meant to be kept close to them and not shared until they want to share it!!!), just have her say "I'm sorry, we aren't sharing the name of the baby with anyone, but I'm sure your gift will be lovely as it is!"

Donate/give away/recycle/whatever the gift after sending a proper thank you for it.

And now I really want to know what this is, LOL!!!!

eta: maybe a way out: "No gifts please. This is our THIRD...we can handle another baby but we can't handle more stuff!" But then that would have to be applied globally to everyone. Or would it?.......

[khm]

Sorry, my sister asked me what to do, I see how that was unclear. I’m 100% not a part of the situation.

Ah, makes sense.

I still don't think there is a way out of receiving a gift! Thank her politely and quietly toss it. It sucks and it is wasteful, but it is what it is.

Does this lady have a side hobby or something? Maybe there is another thing she makes that your sister could exclaim her love for as a hint?

[MMMommy]

I would have your sister just tell the giver that the name is undecided at this time. I would say the name is undecided and not a "surprise" because a surprise name could technically be told to the giver in secret to help them complete this personalized gift purchase. "Undecided" makes it easier since the giver can't possibly personalize the gift if you don't know what the name will be.

And like PPs said, just accept the gift graciously and say "thank you." What your sister does after that is entirely up to her--donate, toss, etc.

[bisous]

I would have your sister just tell the giver that the name is undecided at this time. I would say the name is undecided and not a "surprise" because a surprise name could technically be told to the giver in secret to help them complete this personalized gift purchase. "Undecided" makes it easier since the giver can't possibly personalize the gift if you don't know what the name will be.

And like PPs said, just accept the gift graciously and say "thank you." What your sister does after that is entirely up to her--donate, toss, etc.

I agree with this. I kind of want to live in a world where we can say honestly, “this is not my style and wouldn’t enjoy receiving it” without causing offense but I don’t live in that world. So PP outlined the best path forward.