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  1. #1
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Oct 2003

    Default Mom Bullies. I will not cave in to their pressure!

    Last year, no one was willing to take over the management of the school’s parent rep group. It’s in charge of receptions and events for the school. In the past, one mom oversaw it all for 5 years. She lead the group and all the other moms volunteered to help as needed. When she left, no one wanted to fill her shoes because she did a great job but oversaw all of it. It was a big part of her life. Instead of taking over management of the entire group, I offered to do one small part and another mom offered to do a part and we found a couple of other moms who took over a piece of it. This worked well. This past fall, knowing things were going to get busier For our family, I found a mom to take my place. The mom who offered to lead the meetings wasn’t thrilled that I left but my replacement has done a good job. Now the mom leading the meetings doesn’t want to lead any more and she keeps bugging me to take over her role. She knows that I do volunteer for the group, but in a much smaller role and have no responsibilities with this group. She also knows that I organize another group all by myself. I’m super busy and she knows that that is why I gave but my seat in the group. But she is still bugging me anyway. And worse, she’s becoming a bully about it. She’s actually rude to me and gossipy. If she keeps this up, I’m not going to do anything for that group!

    Ive actually been encouraging other moms who are clearly organized with their lives and kids to consider taking over heading the meetings. There are a few that are more than capable but appear to be nervous about trying and unsure of themselves. With most of the big duties divided up, it shouldn’t be hard. Why doesn’t Miss Bully explain that and try to sell it? It would be more effective than trying to bully people into the job. Sooo frustrating.
    Last edited by gatorsmom; 12-03-2019 at 06:47 PM.
    "People are made for happiness. Rightly then, you thirst for happiness. Christ has the answer to this desire of yours. But he asks you to trust him." -St. John Paul II

  2. #2
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


    I'm sorry. Some people just don't have enough going on in their lives to butt out of others!

    I hope she can take the hint and leave you alone soon. I get it. It's hard in small settings when there are only so many people who can do the jobs that need to be done.

  3. #3
    hbridge is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Jul 2006


    Stay strong and only do what you can. It IS OKAY!!! You have done your part, others need to step up. Ask the "bully" to just stop giving you a hard time, let her know that you have other responsibilities and you will step away completely if the pressure continues. That is ALL you can do. If it doesn't work, then step away (if you can).

    Unfortunately, in the last decade or so, fewer parents are volunteering for things, at least in this area. I think we are all just swamped with the pressures of life.


  4. #4
    hellokitty is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Land of boys


    This sucks. I have been in similar situations before, did a great job at my role, but needed to step back due to other priorities. I kept getting pressure to come back. I just held my ground, kept suggestion other people who I thought could do a good job and eventually they moved on and found someone else. Sometimes when you are very good at this kind of thing, it becomes an expectation. I had to tell people just because I was good it it, didn't mean that I enjoyed it. I felt like that resonated with them having a better understanding. They felt that since I was good at it, that it meant that I loved it too. No, I didn't love it, I did it bc nobody else would and bc they needed help. Hopefully she can find someone us to step up to the role.
    Mom to 3 LEGO Maniacs

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