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  1. #11
    ang79 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    DH and I have decided (we think) on having a mobile vet come to us, as she hates going to the vet and it stresses her out so much. We don't want her last moments to be stressing about where she is. I am going to call the two agencies that service this area and get more info today. It is now down to the question of when. She still wants to cuddle, is still eating/drinking (though maybe not quite as much as normal), still using the litter box. Not very playful, just lays and sleeps a lot, or wants us to pet her (still head butts us for attention like she always has). The swelling around her one eye is so bad though, the skin is taught and red and to me, it looks a tiny bit worse each day. The anti-inflammatory meds she is on does not seem to be helping. And she is very sniffly, so I'm afraid it is affecting her breathing. DH wants to schedule it for a Friday or Saturday, so that the girls have time at home to grieve before going back to school. But he said this weekend feels too soon. But I'm worried that waiting another 1.5 weeks is too long, as I don't want her suffer.

    I'm also torn on when to tell the girls it is scheduled. I'm afraid if I tell them too far in advance (especially DD2), they will dwell on it and worry. But I also don't want to spring it on them last minute. Poor DD2 keeps saying a prayer each night for Lucy to get better. And asks me if there is any chance of her getting better.

  2. #12
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I'm so sorry When the time comes for us, we will be doing the mobile vet as well (if timing allows us to choose this option), since our dog also stresses BIG TIME about the vet.

    To be totally honest, there is nothing wrong with scheduling the time that works best for your family. To me, it is a gift to be able to choose the exact timing (having had a pet die unexpectedly while I was away on a business trip - that's a horrible thing to go through). I do not think it is selfish to choose a time that works for you all. I have never met anyone who has regretted putting down their pet "before it got really bad". I know plenty of people who regretted "waiting too long". If this weekend is a good time for your family, then I think it is the right decision.

    As far as when to tell them, I think your kids are old enough that you can have the conversation about how she is not going to get better. Emphasize her quality of life...that's what we all want for our pets at the end of their life - for them to be comfortable and happy. If you choose to do it this weekend, now is not too early to tell them. Let them have a sense of control over it, whether it is choosing to be there with your cat, choosing a favorite toy/blanket to be near your cat, having her cremated (if you choose) with a picture or letter, etc.

    Hugs, hugs, hugs!!!
    Last edited by twowhat?; 01-14-2020 at 10:39 AM.

  3. #13
    squimp is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I wouldn't take the kids to the vet. My DD was at the vet when we had to put down our guinea pig but I didn't let DD stay in the room. It's sad! I wasn't sure if you were considering doing that, but I'd really advise against it. My DD likes to know things so I told her what

    I did hold them and make sure they were warm and cozy when they passed, and I got footprints and ashes to take home. The vet tech was really kind and nice about it. That's a hard job.

    We held a little funeral for our pets and buried them or their ashes in the back yard when they passed. We took it very seriously and all gave speeches about our memories and love for the pets. It was a good way to say goodbye.

  4. #14
    ang79 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Please keep us and our Kitty Lucy in thought tomorrow. We have a mobile vet service coming at 1pm because she gets so upset about going to the vets and we don’t want her last moments to be stressful. I’m letting the girls stay home from school so that they can spend some time with her in the morning and then say their good-byes when the vet gets here, then I suggested that they go to another room or out for a walk while the meds are given. They have off school on Monday so we are planning lots of relaxed family time for the long weekend. We were able to take some pics tonight with the girls cuddling with her and they want to work on a scrapbook for remembering her. Now that we’ve made the choice I am seeing more of her regression (sleeping more, not interacting with the other cats, walking funny at times, difficulty breathing at times), so I’m glad we were able to schedule it before she gets worse.


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  5. #15
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ang79 View Post
    Please keep us and our Kitty Lucy in thought tomorrow. We have a mobile vet service coming at 1pm because she gets so upset about going to the vets and we don’t want her last moments to be stressful. I’m letting the girls stay home from school so that they can spend some time with her in the morning and then say their good-byes when the vet gets here, then I suggested that they go to another room or out for a walk while the meds are given. They have off school on Monday so we are planning lots of relaxed family time for the long weekend. We were able to take some pics tonight with the girls cuddling with her and they want to work on a scrapbook for remembering her. Now that we’ve made the choice I am seeing more of her regression (sleeping more, not interacting with the other cats, walking funny at times, difficulty breathing at times), so I’m glad we were able to schedule it before she gets worse.


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    Your family is in my thoughts! Your plan sounds perfect. May her passing be filled with peace and love. Lots of hugs going your way.

  6. #16
    ArizonaGirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I am thinking of you and your family.
    Lindsey

    Married to DH June 2005 gave birth to Shawn December 2008 and Lilian August 2012




  7. #17
    kdeunc is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Thinking of you and your family. It is never easy to lose our pets.
    Kelly

    DS 1 12-02
    DS 2 12-04
    DD 07-08

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