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  1. #1
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default Bring Some Cheese, 'Cause I Got Me a Whine Party!

    After a few years of having our (bonded) leather sofa & loveseat flake bits & pieces off all over the place, the ILs gave us money towards the purchase of a new living room set. (This is good and not a b!tch; they ILs' generosity is very much appreciated.)

    DH and I had been pre-shopping for replacement furniture for a while now, but we stepped it up ... and remembered exactly how much we despise furniture shopping. (He likes onion feet and nailheads; I don't. He gravitates towards heavy, rounded pieces, while I tend to prefer squarer ones, etc.)

    Finally, we found a set we agreed on (Costco.com), on sale (yay!), and we placed the order (a little anxiety-inducing) for a sofa and armchair-with-ottoman.

    It arrived last week (which meant I lost almost 3 days' worth of organizing and reconciling GS Cookies in my dining room) and ... DH hates the armchair-and-ottoman.

    He wants a reclining loveseat so we can both sit next to each other while we watch TV (wait, we watch TV together?) He's always got sportsball on and I'm really "meh" towards most sports, but I've especially had it with American football of any type and golf. I enjoy hockey, soccer, and, occasionally, basketball.

    He wants my opinion on the recliner. He wants my opinion on the new furniture, which still smells like new leather. He wants me to rate the "match" of the leather color on our living room set to the stuff he's found at Ashley or Raymour & Flanigan or Bob's or whatever ... while I'm trying to supervise 4 Scouts and an Adult Volunteer at a cookie booth.

    I don't care what he gets, although I really do hate the idea of another recliner. We have a (badly) repaired patch of wall in the living room that was a gouge from the now-broken recliner he HAD TO HAVE a few years ago and I'm tired of cleaning up sheetrock dust.

    Can we stop now?

    Add your whines; I've got more cheese in the fridge.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  2. #2
    Kestrel is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default

    I so hear you. We are currently furniture shopping, also, strangely enough. DH doesn't ever buy things, I do all the shopping - everything from DS's haircuts to sheets to grocery. Now, we have a new home we moved into in September. DH has decided we need more bar stools - and he wants the exact same thing we already have, and he is under the impression that he can find the exact same thing, and for the same price he paid twenty years ago. He has no idea what things cost. He's going to have to triple his budget to get what he wants. Meanwhile, I have to listen to him bitch and tell him, again, that no - I'm not going to find them for him.

    If he wants the impossible, he can spend his time looking for them - not my time.

  3. #3
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    We are also struggling with this!

    Our living room furniture has been rode hard, put up wet, and literally cobbled together over the last couple years. The fold out couch legs broke so everytime it moves we have to readjust where we have propped it up on pieces of wood underneath! We are also shopping and it's a huge pain. I find most couches are simulataneously cheap-looking while also costing more than is reasonable. We have gone to all the regular chain stores around town and I don't particularly like the styles. We also are limited by the shape of our living room, I don't think a sectional would fit. Sectionals are everywhere! I'm pretty sure for us it will come down to either Costco or Ikea but we are 2 hours away from Ikea so that makes it more complicated.

    Also, we are in the middle of repainting things and reflooring things, our deck needs to be totally redone and DH's car is also on it's last leg. We have all of these major expenses hitting at once and at the same time we have no time to make the decisions, shop the options, and get the projects completed because DH's work schedule has been crazy. Traveling, extra long days, weekends. Also in the last 15 months we have had to replace our stove, refrigerator and dishwasher! It just seems like stuff is failing all at once!

  4. #4
    California is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Oh I feel your pain!!! We're redoing our living room. DH would like a loveseat with reclining seats too and I'm a hard no on that. The spot we'd put it has no space to recline, plus there is no TV. I think he just imagines the comfort and doesn't picture the actual space.

    Sounds like it'll be a relief for all of us when the shopping part is over and we can all move on to enjoying the new furniture!

  5. #5
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I love you guys.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  6. #6
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I got a new one about a parent in my GS troop who has proven herself completely unreliable both last year with my co-leader and this year with me and will be hard-banned from booths next year because of it.

    I just have to figure out how to tell her because I feel like maybe my communication style and her learning style are seriously mismatched. (I can ask for help with that later.)

    I had her sign up as the 2nd adult for 5 booths this season.

    The first one, she (1) didn't know where she was supposed to go, (2) showed up late, and (3) bought doughnuts for the kids ... after I had SPECIFICALLY SAID there is no eating while the girls are working at the booth and then acted surprised that I said no eating. (Fortunately, there was a place they could go to have their treats.)

    The 2nd one, she brought snacks. (Again after I had SPECIFICALLY SAID there is no eating while the girls are working at the booth.)

    The 3rd one, she was HALF AN HOUR LATE and didn't text me when she realized she'd be late. Oh no. She texted me after I had texted the other families letting them know that I was running late.

    The 4th one, she tried to come a FULL HOUR late because she hadn't checked her calendar before signing up.
    I said no, that wouldn't do, and her kid couldn't come if she were also going to be late because I wouldn't have been fair to the girls who could get there on time.

    Let me know by midweek if your kid can come.
    Tuesday, she says the kid can't go.
    Booth is on Saturday.
    OK, so I took the kid off the schedule.

    Saturday morning, mom texts.
    Can kid sign up for the booth spot she left open.
    I say no. Mom begs, promises Dad will drop kid off on time ("on time" means 10 minutes before scheduled start time), please, please, please.
    I say no, you already canceled and I told you I needed to know by Wednesday.
    She says, but Dad can drop kid off. I'm still inclined to say no, but I turn to DD (also signed up for booth) and ask if it's fair for me to give her the spot.
    DD tells me to give them another chance. (It's my opinion they've already blown it, but can't say this to DD because she is a child.)
    OK, I text Mom fine, kid can come. She needs to be at X location at Y time.
    Every other kid for booth, plus my new 2nd adult, shows up at Y time.

    HALF AN HOUR LATER, the entire family shows up, walking from wrong end of shopping center.

    I did not say anything because 5 children plus two adults does not make for easy reprimand, but I sent an email prior to next troop booth (for which this family was not signed up) explaining how frustrating and stressful I found the lateness (without even a text!) from her to be ... and to remind her that she'd signed up for booth on "Z" date at "A" time, just to check in to be sure she had it in her calendar properly.

    I schedule a 5pm reminder email for final booth she signed up for.

    5:05pm, I get a text "sorry, can't make tomorrow's booth due to a family situation" ... OK, fine, no problem. This now allows me to open said booth to other Scouts/Adults.

    But now I wonder ... if I hadn't sent that 5pm reminder email, would I have been at the booth waiting for her to show and been left hanging?

    Or would she have told me at 8:30, after our troop meeting, that she couldn't make it, leaving me less time to find another adult for the booth (thereby screwing other kids out of earning cookie sales) or would she still have told me early enough that I could change the signup?
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  7. #7
    California is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Just reading your update. She worked hard to earn her ban for next year! That is one annoying behavior after another. Let me just say as a Girl Scout mom that you are amazing to volunteer to be the Cookie Mom! After 10 years involvement with Girl Scouts, it's very clear to me that being the cookie mom is hard work with little thanks. But the girls do, over time, get such a benefit from learning how to run their cookie businesses. It's really improved my girls' confidence.

    My older daughter's troop is fortunate to have a parent (friend of mine) who uses her work's paid volunteer time benefit to run the cookie program. Awesome for the rest of us!! Plus, we kind of have it all down after ten years together. The Cookie Mom for my younger daughter's troop collected all money and shut down two weeks early this year. I have to wonder if part of the reason was that we have one flaky parent who didn't respond to emails and yet expected to be catered to whenever she decided to show up with her girl. The Cookie Mom kind of caved to her (like you said, it's hard to handle challenging parents right in front of the girls), but clearly resented it.

  8. #8
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I’ve got a couple of whines if you are bringing out more cheese. First- I HATE packing. I do it for my kids to the most part because I also HATE HATE the chaotic scramble that is allowing my kids to do their own packing. They are sloppy and forget stuff which ultimately creates more work for me on our vacation. I don’t care if it’s a great learning experience for them, I want a vacation too, dang it so I pack for them which ensures a moment of peace at our destination. It feels like a very brief moment, though until we have to come home and unpack.

    My second whine is like your Girls scout mom whine- parents who don’t or can’t think of anything but themselves. I lead a girls’ crafting group at our church. It’s free for girls and their guardian. FREE! No fees for supplies to make jewelry; learn knitting and embroidery, making soap, natural body scrubs and lotions. The only requirement I make is that they bring a snack twice per year. And I’m not picky! It can be a pitcher of water and bag of chips- I don’t care. It’s totally up to them. One mom served chili for breakfast. I was just thrilled that she brought food because I think it’s the least the moms/girls can do to contribute to a free group. But wouldn’t you know there is one mom who hasn’t brought a snack, has signed up for events and then doesn’t show up, didn’t text me (so I purchased crafting a supplies for her daughter and could have used them for someone else if she had told me she couldn’t make it but nope-not a word. Just didn’t show.). She makes great speeches like, “oh we are so excited for the upcoming meeting!” But then doesn’t show and doesn’t communicate. I let it go and just try to cheer her on when she does come (because who really knows what she is facing in her messy life and of course it’s not her daughter’s fault her mom’s a flake), but I don’t rely on her or expect her to ever show. Sigh. Whatever. Thanks for letting me vent.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  9. #9
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by California View Post
    Just reading your update. She worked hard to earn her ban for next year! That is one annoying behavior after another. Let me just say as a Girl Scout mom that you are amazing to volunteer to be the Cookie Mom! After 10 years involvement with Girl Scouts, it's very clear to me that being the cookie mom is hard work with little thanks. But the girls do, over time, get such a benefit from learning how to run their cookie businesses. It's really improved my girls' confidence.
    I love the cookie sale. I still think booth sales are exciting because my troop/Council did not sell at booths.

    I am both a troop leader for two troop numbers and Troop Cookie Manager for those two troop numbers - I am still learning the 2nd troop's parents' habits and reliability, so I figured I'd just hang onto the work for this year and figure out who I could trust for next year.

    Last year, my co-leader (who reluctantly stepped into the Troop Cookie Manager role while taking classes for her PhD AND being pregnant as a surrogate!!) said that this particular parent had not only showed up late to a booth but she also left early ... and I just can't have that. I was willing to give her a fair shake this year, but, for next year? I can't count on her. She's more than welcome to sign her kids up for the booths, but they won't get cookies assigned to them if they're more than a few minutes late with no warning.

    My older daughter's troop is fortunate to have a parent (friend of mine) who uses her work's paid volunteer time benefit to run the cookie program. Awesome for the rest of us!! Plus, we kind of have it all down after ten years together. The Cookie Mom for my younger daughter's troop collected all money and shut down two weeks early this year. I have to wonder if part of the reason was that we have one flaky parent who didn't respond to emails and yet expected to be catered to whenever she decided to show up with her girl. The Cookie Mom kind of caved to her (like you said, it's hard to handle challenging parents right in front of the girls), but clearly resented it.
    I've consulted with other leaders in the SU for help on managing next year, so at least I'm not so far out of the realm of "WHAT THE ACTUAL FRACK?" here, but, dang, lady, you have thoroughly blown it.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  10. #10
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by gatorsmom View Post
    I’ve got a couple of whines if you are bringing out more cheese. First- I HATE packing. I do it for my kids to the most part because I also HATE HATE the chaotic scramble that is allowing my kids to do their own packing. They are sloppy and forget stuff which ultimately creates more work for me on our vacation. I don’t care if it’s a great learning experience for them, I want a vacation too, dang it so I pack for them which ensures a moment of peace at our destination. It feels like a very brief moment, though until we have to come home and unpack.
    Packing is the worst, truly. I help DD do it, but I'm starting to get more hands off. (But, then again, I'm not outnumbered like you are.)

    My second whine is like your Girls scout mom whine- parents who don’t or can’t think of anything but themselves. ... But wouldn’t you know there is one mom who hasn’t brought a snack, has signed up for events and then doesn’t show up, didn’t text me (so I purchased crafting a supplies for her daughter and could have used them for someone else if she had told me she couldn’t make it but nope-not a word. Just didn’t show.). She makes great speeches like, “oh we are so excited for the upcoming meeting!” But then doesn’t show and doesn’t communicate. I let it go and just try to cheer her on when she does come (because who really knows what she is facing in her messy life and of course it’s not her daughter’s fault her mom’s a flake), but I don’t rely on her or expect her to ever show. ...
    See, with my particular troop parent, I'm not sure if it's truly selfishness or if it's more that she doesn't have the greatest reading comprehension skills.

    I mean, last year, she'd been bringing her girls to troop meetings for about a month before my co-leader and I made the connection that she hadn't registered them.

    We had to send a "hey, Girl Scouts isn't free and you can't bring your kids if they're not registered because they're not covered by Council's insurance if they're not paid members" email to her.

    Twice.

    I don't have a lot of patience for people who don't follow directions, especially when I make the effort to make the directions simple and clear.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

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