I feel like a lot of people here won't have sympathy here for me. I really don't need to hear that you would have done the same, so posting in BP.

Things are slowly opening up. Our cases are going down and down. I can't even tell you the difference between April and now. A fair number of people are starting to see family members or friends with precautions...such as outside, with masks, distant, etc.

The only place my kids have been since March is the zoo x1 (with masks, distant, outside), and the local HS tennis courts (no masks, but no one else using them at the same time). But DH and I have been working. DH routinely works with COVID+ patients. It's his job. He uses all appropriate PPE. He is extremely cautious. I see patients who have either no symptoms (screened for symptoms before entering my office) or test negative (surgery patients). We haven't been anyplace else since March. No grocery store, no Costco, nothing.

There is no one in my life who is willing to meet up with me even for an outdoor distant dinner, due to our exposures. I get that people are scared, I do. I was scared too. I am scared.

But being rejected, being unvalued, being told me and my children pose a risk. It hurts. It hurts badly. And it cuts to the heart of my insecurity.

Tell me I'm stupid. Tell me I'm ugly. Tell me I suck at my job. I don't care- I'll tell you to eff off and that will roll of my back. But tell me you don't want to come to my party and I'll secretly go and cry on my faux Peloton.

Everyone has lost a lot. Maybe I shouldn't be concerned with feeling unloved. But I don't know, there is some sort of primal reaction associated with being told that my children are too much of a risk to your children, and it doesn't feel good. At all.