I’m tired of being the only adult in the house.

[Kestrel]

Can you give up parts of the cooking in specific ways? For instance, Fred: peel and slice three pounds of carrots before dinner. Wilma: Make a salad. George: wash and cut the bin of strawberries in the fridge. Then, you can still do the planning and actual cooking while they help out with some of the prep?

After all, if they want you to be in charge - be in charge! delegate!

[dogmom]

I think you should pack a bag and check into a hotel for a few days.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think you should pack a bag and check into a hotel for a few days.

[gatorsmom]

Can you give up parts of the cooking in specific ways? For instance, Fred: peel and slice three pounds of carrots before dinner. Wilma: Make a salad. George: wash and cut the bin of strawberries in the fridge. Then, you can still do the planning and actual cooking while they help out with some of the prep?

After all, if they want you to be in charge - be in charge! delegate!

Oh I go further than that. I pick the recipe (all stuff they have eaten before and admitted to liking), buy the groceries and then make them cook it. They have to chop, sauté, etc. Occasionally I’ll prep all the veggies for them since I get weekly snack veggies ready anyway. They enjoy cooking once they get started. And they want the food to taste good (or everyone will criticize their cooking skills). The cooking isn’t the problem. It’s the cleaning. And I had a chart of chores. They can pick any of the chores and do at least one per day. I drew out a friggin chart for them to refer to and initial! And they still can’t get their act together. AND, they all criticized the chart. So I’m done. The house will be a pig sty and I don’t care.

I think you should pack a bag and check into a hotel for a few days.

Well, Dd and I will be camping with her troup this weekend. Not exactly the same thing, but it’s something. And what’s better is that the house will be GROSS and my MIL will arrive so DH will be forced to clean it before she comes over!! Ha ha, I’ll be gone camping so not my problem!! And I’ve mentally prepared all sorts of retorts if she tried to criticize my housekeeping. I’m actually looking forward to trying a few out on her.

[niccig]

Just one teenager but like yours, he can’t seem to find the trash can or the hamper. I interrupt his video game to make him go back and clean up, so you’d think he would learn to do it properly the first time to not get interrupted, but no. Since the shutdown, I only cook dinner, breakfast and lunch you are on your own. There’s always complaints about no food or haven’t eaten all day, there’s plenty, you just have to prepare it. DH complains more about the food than DS does. You’re an adult, forage in the fridge and pantry and figure it out. Oh there’s no bread, go to the store then as I’m working and not going until tomorrow. DS kept a food diary for a class and he had goldfish for breakfast. I’m sure the teacher had comments about that.

I agree with doing less and letting them fend for themselves.

As for the masks/going places, can you figure out a family plan and then when an invite comes up to an event, ask them if it’s part of your family plan or not. Refer them to the plan. Also consider when your family is comfortable with doing things. Eg DH and I have our anniversary Friday. Usually we would go out to dinner, but we’re only comfortable with outside dining and only occasionally. Our family plan would have take out and outside dining is OK, but indoor dining isn’t. So an invite to an indoors restaurant would get a no.

There’s a list circulating that rates activities. Maybe you and DH could say anything 5 or 4 and under is ok, and anything above isn’t, or look through the list and discuss what is/isn’t ok

A mask is non-negotiable. Here everyone has to wear one is out in public or indoors. Majority of people have a mask on. I know it’s more difficult to enforce the mask rule when others don’t. Maybe stress that the mask is for the other person to keep them safe if you aren’t showing symptoms, you’re caring for others by wearing a mask

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[petesgirl]

So, finding the trash can and the hamper.....both things my little kids struggle with! My question is, do they just not ever outgrow thia or do they do ok for a while but forget everything when the teen years hit??

[StantonHyde]

So, finding the trash can and the hamper.....both things my little kids struggle with! My question is, do they just not ever outgrow thia or do they do ok for a while but forget everything when the teen years hit??

It is freaking never ending!! I swear, when my son is on his own, I am going to visit and bring empty snack bar boxes with me and leave them in his pantry!!!!!!

[StantonHyde]

My kids want to earn money. I am paying DD to cook and clean up—has to be recipes I approve. She is learning but it is great for me!! DS has a list of yard chores. And he drives so he does errands for me. They have done their own laundry since before middle school. I have taught DS how to fold and iron. He chooses not to. Now I am going to make them wash/fold their own sheets/towels. DS is still a slob—who takes pains with his personal appearance at least. dD is much neater. But she bakes and leaves messes.

[carolinamama]

It is freaking never ending!! I swear, when my son is on his own, I am going to visit and bring empty snack bar boxes with me and leave them in his pantry!!!!!!

Thank you for the laugh!! I find so many empty boxes in the pantry. Yesterday our 12 lb dog carried an empty cereal box in his mouth through the house that he found in the kids' den. Just pick up your mess!!!

[lizzywednesday]

Me too. Here the battle is screen time. Dh would be 100% fine if the kids sat in front of a screen for the rest of their lives and fried the brains and bodies into useless lumps. He sees no reason to enforce any limits. It's aggravating.

That's gonna change right after July 4th because DD has camp (outdoors! with other children! socially distanced, yes, but with other children!) and I need her schedule to shift so we can be in the car at 7am because her bus stop is further away this year.