Working Mom Obstacles

[StantonHyde]

I go to the office every day. I have no idea what my teens are doing. DD makes dinner. DS knows he has to get summer reading done. DD is taking Drivers Ed online. DS had ADD and anxiety but he can take his meds and get his stuff together. let it go...let it go.....

[Jeanne]

Having a dedicated working space and "office hours" are key. I have been working from home full time for 12.5 years - since my girls were 4 & 6. I'm at work all day and that's that. Nothing else gets done during work hours. It requires a schedule and dedicated routines. You can futz with the timing in blocks if that works for you but those blocks need to be work or home blocks only. Trying to do both at the same time is chaos and far less productive.

Occasionally I'll throw laundry in or cook something for dinner during work hours but otherwise, when I'm working, I'm working. It's definitely easier with older kids though. I can't really remember those years when the kids were little but I do know they weren't home like we all are now so you do have quite the challenge with that. But settling it in your mind that work time is strictly work time and home time is that as well. Once you get into dedicated routines, it does make it easier to be more efficient mentally.

[erosenst]

What works varies for everyone - but in case it helps - focus on the non-negotiables. What has to get done in your work? What doesn't have to get done in house/kids/etc that you can slowly let go? A few examples from here:

* I have totally let managing DD16's schedule go. She is naturally nocturnal. There's no real need for her to be up during the day most days. She needs to manage her ACT prep (and does), get summer work for school done (she will - they've asked kids not to start too early), etc - but the when is on her. If she does need to be up at a vaguely civilized hour, she can't be too grumpy (and mostly isn't.)

* I have let making dinner go. DD and DH eat differently than I do. DH doesn't mind cooking - so now that's on him

* I have to have a clean kitchen. I will usually empty the dishwasher/clean up any residual mess created after dinner til morning before I start working - it's rarely more than 10 minutes and makes my day more productive.

* If you're really stressed about other stuff - set a 10 minute timer and go do something. Better to knock something off your list than lose time to stress and thinking about it.

* Mark/block your calendar for any non-negotiables - whether work or home related.

Good luck finding the right balance!

[klwa]

Not sure if this would help, but, have you considered reformulating your morning? Instead of 5-8, maybe work 5-10. Before you start, have cereal poured and milk in cups if that will help. Then you've gotten in a large chunk of your day early. (5 hours a day 6 days a week is your 30 hours.) And sine your kids are lounging in the morning, it shouldn't affect their schedule too much to have you working then. Also, try to not work directly before bed. Starting at 5am & finishing at 10pm is bound to wear you down.

Right now, it's hard working from home with the kids here. I'm working 6:00-2:30 with a half hour lunch. When I get up for a quick break about 8, I'll fix the kids something for breakfast real quick. (Cereal/toast/frozen waffles) If they want help when I'm at lunch, I'll help. That's what my lunch break is for. But otherwise, I'm working and they can handle themselves. Now when school was in session was a different story, and I'm really not looking forward to next month when it all starts up again. I was taking time off every afternoon to help with school issues.

[AnnieW625]

Having a dedicated working space and "office hours" are key. I have been working from home full time for 12.5 years - since my girls were 4 & 6. I'm at work all day and that's that. Nothing else gets done during work hours. It requires a schedule and dedicated routines. You can futz with the timing in blocks if that works for you but those blocks need to be work or home blocks only. Trying to do both at the same time is chaos and far less productive.

Occasionally I'll throw laundry in or cook something for dinner during work hours but otherwise, when I'm working, I'm working. It's definitely easier with older kids though. I can't really remember those years when the kids were little but I do know they weren't home like we all are now so you do have quite the challenge with that. But settling it in your mind that work time is strictly work time and home time is that as well. Once you get into dedicated routines, it does make it easier to be more efficient mentally.

I very much agree with this (which is why I prefer in person learning for Dd2). During last spring I feel like I took a million breaks just to get her settled with zoom meetings, checking that she was turning in her work, helping her take a reading test, etc. . It was one thing when we thought it was temporary, but there is no way I can be expected to or expect to work full time and educate my child via virtual learning full time. I don’t know what I will do if virtual school goes on for another school year. Some days were easier than others, but other days were super hard for me.

I tend to work better in the early AM, but find that by mid morning I do get side tracked a little easier when my kids are up and moving. I also feel like I do great work in the afternoon after lunch and sometimes end up working overtime because I get on a good roll.

I have only been working from home since March, it I am slowly getting used to it. My current office set up is in our living room, but in our new house I will have dedicated office space.


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[bisous]

Thank you for all the info!

I'm going to change my schedule. It sounds crazy because I'm a morning person but I'm going to change to 5 afternoons a week from 1 to 6 (with extra hours on Friday morning when DH or my parents can help out with the little kids).

That might sound crazy but I think I can hack it. Here's my reasons for the change.

1. I do have to go into my office 3 days a week or so and the afternoon is better. It is in someone's home (my boss and his wife). If I go in in the afternoon nobody is home! I work alone with open windows and I think that's best from a safety perspective. Also, they don't like me to come in at 5:00 a.m. They're so weird. I like the consistency of the SAME hours every day.

2. Mornings are my best time for my personal preparedness. I can exercise, read scriptures, get totally dressed and plan for the day. Actually afternoons are my slumps but my job is not usually very intellectually challenging. It is a lot of follow up and paperwork and fits in well when my creativity is low and I just need to power through.

3. My afternoons have some built in features that I think I will help. I already have my kids doing a 1.5 hour quiet time from 1:00 to 2:30. They can start watching TV at 4:30 to about 6:00 when we eat dinner. I have decided that my gourmet dinners will have to go (this is a joke because ever since grocery shopping became difficult during COVID our dinners have been ridiculously simple and unaspirational so there will be not much change!) We will be eating a lot of oven food from Costco and stuff on the grill that DH can help out with.

4. But honestly my biggest reason for the change is that now I'll be able to meet each kid when they awake. I'll be dressed and ahead of the game. I'll help them come up with a good plan for the day. We can read books, play games, play outside, take a walk, make potions in the kitchen, do their chores, etc. I can also make a healthy breakfast and lunch (maybe to make up for crappy dinner?) When this happens I'll feel better about letting the schedule roll forward from 1 to 6. Again, they'll be responsible for "entertaining themselves" from 2:30 to 4:30 only (they don't need much from me during quiet time or when the TV is on). I might see if I need to mobilize my teens to help out with the younger kids. It would be worth it to me to pay them a nominal amount for some entertainment but we'll see how well they do. My guess is that I give them good amounts of attention in the morning that they'll be ok with recognizing my work hours.

My work space is VERY not ideal. It is in the only common living space we have. I need a desktop because I need a giant monitor and my house is tiny and there is literally nowhere else. I think with my white noise in my ears and concentrating on my most important stuff FIRST at 1 when it is quiet will work.

I'm starting TODAY. I'm kind of excited for some structure and not being "on" all day long.

Wish me luck!

[bisous]

Just popping in to say, Day One was a really big success. I can't explain it but afternoons might just work. Let's see how well that translates to elearning in the Fall!!