who to ask for recommendation

[Reader]

I'm hoping to go back to graduate school, and I need a letter of recommendation. I haven't worked in 10 years, we've been homeschooling the kids. Should I contact someone from my professional world whom I haven't worked with in 10+ years, or would it be better to have a personal recommendation from a friend? The application doesn't specify.

[dogmom]

I would get two, one from your professional career and one from more recent. The best letters give a sense of knowing the applicant and being able to give concrete examples. “Reader was a source of calm and knew exactly what to do and how to direct people when the hurricane force winds hit the SpringFest.” If your older references can’t speak to you except in the most general terms I would say don’t bother with those letters.

Having been tertiary to graduate admissions I can say our schools number one concern was: can this person do the work? Not just in school, but the profession to come. Our second concern was diversity, which also meant age and different life experiences.

[pinkmomagain]

When I returned to grad school a few years ago, I used a couple of people for whom I had done volunteer work.
I'm sure it depends on the school/program, but for me, I don't think the references mattered very much in the admissions process.

[ezcc]

My brother asked people who know him well and he thought could write a decent letter- both were friends, not professional or educational contacts. It worked out fine.

[NCGrandma]

I would get two, one from your professional career and one from more recent. The best letters give a sense of knowing the applicant and being able to give concrete examples. “Reader was a source of calm and knew exactly what to do and how to direct people when the hurricane force winds hit the SpringFest.” If your older references can’t speak to you except in the most general terms I would say don’t bother with those letters.

Having been tertiary to graduate admissions I can say our schools number one concern was: can this person do the work? Not just in school, but the profession to come. Our second concern was diversity, which also meant age and different life experiences.

I agree completely, especially about the specific examples. I spent many years reading recommendation letters for applicants to our medical fellowship programs, and it was clear that many of them were just lightly edited generic "what a great person" letters. In fact, occasionally they weren’t even edited enough to make sure that the pronouns matched the gender of the person being recommended. (This was way before "what are your pronouns" — this was just sloppy!)

I would have been thrilled to read a concrete example like the one dogmom gave.


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[Liziz]

If you have professional contacts that can write something specific about you and your work, go for it. But there's a good chance at this point you don't, and if you asked someone it would be more of a generic letter. In that case, I'd aim for someone who can write something more specific about you. Someone you volunteered on a project with, someone from a homeschool co-op, neighborhood association contact, someone from a group/club you belong to, etc. I think the place the person comes from matters less than the letter they can write. A friend is fine, but grad schools aren't looking for someone who is a good friend -- they want someone who will excel in their program and then afterwards as well. So make sure whoever you ask can write to your qualities that will demonstrate your ability to do that (and it's totally fine to offer the person you're asking the letter for a set of bullet points as ideas of what they may want to write about you, especially if the person isn't used to writing recommendation letters.....)

[dogmom]

I think it helps to supply examples to people you ask for recommendations if they are down with that. Most are, because they want to do a good job and unsure where to start. I’m in the middle of submitting my portfolio for a clinical ladder. Nursing often uses a tool called clinical narratives. The nurse writes a short (1-2 page) summary of something that happened. Then the reviewers look to see that interaction in 3 domains: patient/clinician relationship, clinical knowledge, collaboration with other providers. So all my references I gave a copy of my clinical narrative so they could have a sense of how I was going to present myself. I also gave a copy of the evaluation criteria, so they can both compliment and fill in gaps. Giving you references your admissions essay with a summary of why you want to go to graduate school and what you plan to do with it will help them focus they recommendation.

[hellokitty]

Have you done any volunteer work for a non-profit during your time as a sahm? When I returned to work, I asked leadership of those kinds of organizations to serve as a reference. I would make sure that those that you ask have a masters level degree too.