Help me think of an incentive for DS2?

[bisous]

I have four kids. We've been social distancing since March and have kept sane and happy by really having each other and doing some zoom type activities with their peers. Thankfully, the two littles are best playmates right now and the two big kids have always been best friends.

Fast forward to Fall and DS1 has a punishingly difficult semester at school. And DS2....does not. He's DONE for the day by noonish. By contrast DS1 starts early in the morning and usually does homework/schoolwork all day long and even on the weekends.

DS2 is lonely and bored.

I thought maybe I could keep him busy by giving him some challenges. My thought was I could give him some challenge books to read, khan academy to work on, scout merit badges and projects to get going on, etc. I've got some great ideas I want to put together. But what REALLY works with DS2 is rewards and that's where I'm stuck!

I want to propose a big reward in exchange for a very rigorous packet of work to keep him busy and challenged this semester (and potentially next).

The question is--what is the reward? He's already due for an iPhone when he starts 9th grade. Otherwise I know that would be SUPER motivating. If he's getting it anyway (I think high school is a good time) then that's not really fair. Also, not sure I want my kids to be singularly motivated by technology...But on the other hand I can't think of anything else that he wants more...

Another thought. My kids get an 8th grade trip to DC to visit my sister. This will happen when it is safe and things reopen. It might not happen in 8th grade but he knows we're committed to this. I thought maybe we could do some kind of cool "extension" to this trip? Like swing a trip through NYC? (On the cheap). He does idolize my sister. But his interests are either gaming and technology (can you tell that's not my thing really?) or else the natural world and he has wanted to be a vulcanologist for his whole life...

What kinds of incentives can you come up with that sound good?

TIA!

[doberbrat]

does he know he's getting the iphone 9? I dont have much issue with letting him 'earn' it.

cool video game he wants? Access to extra time on whatever device he likes (if you limit it?) Extra tv time?

[Liziz]

Have you asked him? He might have something he really has his eye on/has been hoping for, and may give you a great idea. And while I agree on the not wanting kids singularly motivated by technology -- if that's something that's somewhat restricted at your house (i.e. - not unlimited time, don't own all the devices, etc.) then it's a PERFECT reward for a situation like this, as it's extra special because it's outside the norm.

Does he play any online games where there's a "premium" membership available that he doesn't have but would like to have? (I don't know how common this is, but I know that my DD is constantly asking for me to upgrade to a paid membership on a game she plays....)

When are you hoping to give the reward? I understand why you wouldn't want to make the iPhone the actual reward, but depending on timelines, could the reward be getting the iPhone earlier? I know that would be hugely motivating to my DD, even if she knew she'd get it regardless a few months later.

As another thought, if he doesn't have some big thing he really wants, maybe there's a series of smaller things that would be just as motivating -- and instead of earning it all at the end, he could earn smaller rewards for each section he completes.

[SnuggleBuggles]

A Switch


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[sariana]

Has he ever been to Lassen National Park?

[truly scrumptious]

I don’t have a lot of ideas on incentives but your comments about his love of the natural world and vulcanology got me thinking. Have you tried “Skype a Scientist”? It is a program that connects kids to chat with a scientist about whatever interests them. My kids did it in the spring and had an awesome conversation about what would happen if the strength of the earth’s gravity ever changed - the conversation meandered through geology, ecology, biology, botany - it was collaborative and engaging. This might be something your DS2 can do during his free time - research topics that interest him and discuss them with real scientists (in a variety of disciplines) in the field.
Another thing I’ve done to keep my kids motivated since March is have an ongoing “book” surprise, where I have a pile of books wrapped and displayed prominently. Twice a week they “get” to pick one at random and open it. (This is a spin on the book advent calendar activity I got from BBB.) The act of opening the book and the mystery keeps them engaged. I also require them to read *most* if not all of the current book before they open the next one, so that way even if the book is meh they are motivated to get to the next one.
Perhaps you can use books as an ongoing incentive in this way?

[bisous]

Has he ever been to Lassen National Park?

Tell me more about Lassen. I’m kind of leaning towards a National Park with volcanic activity! I’m going to do some research on Lassen.

[bisous]

I don’t have a lot of ideas on incentives but your comments about his love of the natural world and vulcanology got me thinking. Have you tried “Skype a Scientist”? It is a program that connects kids to chat with a scientist about whatever interests them. My kids did it in the spring and had an awesome conversation about what would happen if the strength of the earth’s gravity ever changed - the conversation meandered through geology, ecology, biology, botany - it was collaborative and engaging. This might be something your DS2 can do during his free time - research topics that interest him and discuss them with real scientists (in a variety of disciplines) in the field.
Another thing I’ve done to keep my kids motivated since March is have an ongoing “book” surprise, where I have a pile of books wrapped and displayed prominently. Twice a week they “get” to pick one at random and open it. (This is a spin on the book advent calendar activity I got from BBB.) The act of opening the book and the mystery keeps them engaged. I also require them to read *most* if not all of the current book before they open the next one, so that way even if the book is meh they are motivated to get to the next one.
Perhaps you can use books as an ongoing incentive in this way?

Interested in this too!

[jgenie]

I don’t have a lot of ideas on incentives but your comments about his love of the natural world and vulcanology got me thinking. Have you tried “Skype a Scientist”? It is a program that connects kids to chat with a scientist about whatever interests them. My kids did it in the spring and had an awesome conversation about what would happen if the strength of the earth’s gravity ever changed - the conversation meandered through geology, ecology, biology, botany - it was collaborative and engaging. This might be something your DS2 can do during his free time - research topics that interest him and discuss them with real scientists (in a variety of disciplines) in the field.
Another thing I’ve done to keep my kids motivated since March is have an ongoing “book” surprise, where I have a pile of books wrapped and displayed prominently. Twice a week they “get” to pick one at random and open it. (This is a spin on the book advent calendar activity I got from BBB.) The act of opening the book and the mystery keeps them engaged. I also require them to read *most* if not all of the current book before they open the next one, so that way even if the book is meh they are motivated to get to the next one.
Perhaps you can use books as an ongoing incentive in this way?

How are you deciding which books to wrap?

[truly scrumptious]

How are you deciding which books to wrap?

Sorry just seeing this.

For the most part these are books that are new to them (I buy used from Better World Books). Sometimes if there are neglected books on their shelves I will intersperse them. I tell them up front that only some of the books are new, and weirdly even reopening books they already had motivates them to crack the book open and give it another chance.