Helping ADHD son with remote learning

[niccig]

I was going to suggest getting someone else to help with math. DS was about that age when DH walked in from long day of work into an argument about math. I could help him but DS didn’t want the help from me, and argued even though what I was saying was correct. We got a tutor. Initially we had a high school student, she left for college this year. Through friends we got name of late 20s adult who is getting high school math certified. Costs more, but after first zoom session, DS was “wow this guy is good”. Struggling in math is real hit to self-esteem, so I’d rather pay for DS to have good experience with math.

You may be too close for him to take the help from you. The students I work with will do something for me they won’t do for mom/dad. Now with zoom, some parents are surprised how much their child will talk with me, when with parent it’s 1-2 words max at a time.


Does his teacher have office hours? My teachers at work have time at end of day where they are available to answer questions. If they have this time, he could log into zoom and get help with math.

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[PunkyBoo]

You all really made me think on this last night, thank you again for outside perspectives. He is starting in person school next Monday (we choose hybrid and it's now considered safe for in person school in our county) and will be riding the bus for the first time, so this may be feeding into his anxiety. And you're correct, Nicci, he has always taken instructions much better from someone other than his family (he likes when DS1 helps him so it might be adding to his stress that DS1 is too busy with his own schoolwork to help or spend much time with him). And my work has been so busy, I'm sure a contributing factor is the old Supernanny concept that he isn't getting enough attention from me (or anyone) during the day so he acts out when he finally has my attention... and, in his mind, at least YouTube and video games are some sort of engagement that he's not getting in real life. Sigh. DS1 and DH want him to be independent but that's just not who DS2 is right now.
I just sent an email to his teacher asking for her to set up an appointment time for him to log in and get 1 on 1 help with some example math problems to alleviate the struggle and the hit to his self esteem. Thank you again.

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[echoesofspring]

On managing screen time when you're working - our device safe and Circle app/router have both made all the difference in helping our 4th grade DS with ADHD focus during school. We find that even sneaking a youtube video in before school can have behavior consequences for him. If he needs to watch a video for school, I turn it on, otherwise youtube is off. He still has concentration problems but at least he's really trying vs. acting out.

[niccig]

He may improve with being back in person as there will be less time for screens. We had an app “our pact” that helped control DS’ phone and we took away the game remotes at certain times. He’s much better now in high school so he has all access back. Your DS will keep maturing, but may need more supervision now


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