Is there a way to stop pigeonholing?

[MSWR0319]

DS is in 6th grade. He plays soccer, basketball, and swims. His coach for soccer is also his basketball coach. Last year we suspected something was going on with the coaches' basketball thought process because DS clearly deserved to play before many of the other kids that were getting put in the game. Last week at soccer, the coach approached me and asked where we stood on basketball this winter because he had been told by the other kids that DS was going to swim. Um, we've always swam in the winter and that's never affected his practice or game time. I explained that we wanted DS to be allowed to continue to do as much as we felt safe because he's only 11. He doesn't know what sport he will choose in high school, so why should I limit him now if it's safe and healthy for him to continue to participate in both sports. His coach was nice but replied with "Well, he's going to have to choose soon." This confirmed to me that they are probably pigeonholing him as a swimmer and not a basketball player, thus not giving him the playing time he deserves in hopes of developing the other kids. Yes, he'll have to choose eventually, but maybe he'll play jr high ball next year and decide he wants to do that over swim in high school. No one knows right now. Maybe he'll ruin his shoulder doing the butterfly and not be able to continue swimming. Technically dual sports are allowed in high school so he theoretically could do both ( wouldn't let him though, but that's not the point here). I just don't understand why we are focused on this now when can't see the future. Is there any way I can help reduce this idea that he is going to swim in the heads of the coaches so that he gets appropriate playing time now to develop his basketball skills?

[KpbS]

I don’t know the answer other than not informing them about his other sports. It’s totally ridiculous. He’s so young. Let the kids play whatever they want. This sport specialization leads to overuse injuries and early burnout for kids and teens.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That’s really dumb. I won’t play that game re. pushing my kid into one sport. Youth should be a time to dabble. Really, how many kids are going to even be college athletes let alone pro? Not that many. And if the thought is college scholarships...good luck with that too. Odds are more $ is spent pre-college than is saved per scholarships.
I would just be frank with your kiddo that the coach has a certain philosophy and it may impact playing time but that the point of kids’ sports, imo, should be about having fun.
My ds1 had one sport per season plus on arts activity (marching band, winter play, spring musical) per season and each enriched his life. Our school was also willing to work with athletes that had overlapping sports. I think I’ve just gotten spoiled in my bubble!!


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[MSWR0319]

I don’t know the answer other than not informing them about his other sports. It’s totally ridiculous. He’s so young. Let the kids play whatever they want. This sport specialization leads to overuse injuries and early burnout for kids and teens.

I wish it were that easy! We live in a small rural town where everyone knows everyone’s business! We don’t share things because of things like this and they are still know. It doesn’t help that the coach’s kid is one of DS’s best friends. I also don’t understand the push for specialization. I even made casual conversation one time that our pediatrician had mentioned we were doing it right by not forcing specialization yet and that got ignored!

That’s really dumb. I won’t play that game re. pushing my kid into one sport. Youth should be a time to dabble. Really, how many kids are going to even be college athletes let alone pro? Not that many. And if the thought is college scholarships...good luck with that too. Odds are more $ is spent pre-college than is saved per scholarships.
I would just be frank with your kiddo that the coach has a certain philosophy and it may impact playing time but that the point of kids’ sports, imo, should be about having fun.
My ds1 had one sport per season plus on arts activity (marching band, winter play, spring musical) per season and each enriched his life. Our school was also willing to work with athletes that had overlapping sports. I think I’ve just gotten spoiled in my bubble!!


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The coach is very willing to work with kids who are overlapping which is what surprises me. There are kids on his soccer team who also play football or run cross country, and they still get their starting spots despite missing practices regularly. I make sure DS gets to all basketball practices and skips swim practice instead if needed. Yet for some reason the fact that he swims is clearly affecting things for basketball. All I can come up with is that because he’s a good swimmer they assume that’s what he’ll pick. I’m not asking for him to be a starter but I do think he’s not getting the play time he deserves. One could argue he deserves the 5th starting spot but I don’t even care about that! If you don’t want him on the team then don’t ask him to play. We’ll see how it goes this year, maybe Covid will cancel basketball anyway!

[Kindra178]

This drives me crazy. Some sports are valued over others. Football is always valued!! The basketball folks make fun of soccer usually. We have bucked the specialization trend but in the end, it really just hurts us. Lots of running from here to there, changing in the car, etc.

[SnuggleBuggles]

This drives me crazy. Some sports are valued over others. Football is always valued!! The basketball folks make fun of soccer usually. We have bucked the specialization trend but in the end, it really just hurts us. Lots of running from here to there, changing in the car, etc.

I hate the "hierarchy" of value. It's silly and it probably varies by community anyway. I had a mom on ds1's college page moaning about how none of the current rec opportunities were for boys...one of the activities was tennis. How tennis isn't for boys I just don't know. Drives me crazy that some sports aren't respected.

[MSWR0319]

This drives me crazy. Some sports are valued over others. Football is always valued!! The basketball folks make fun of soccer usually. We have bucked the specialization trend but in the end, it really just hurts us. Lots of running from here to there, changing in the car, etc.

I think you’re on to something with this. The kids are always telling DS how easy swimming is and how they could go faster than him, etc. He’s the only one in his class that swims. The funny thing is the HS swim team boys and girls have gone to state the last five or so years and basketball hasn’t gone in more than thirty years. They don’t really take swimming serious around here.

[hbridge]

Ugh... It is NOT right. Let the kids participate in WHATEVER They want! The coach needs to coach the kids on the team he has, unless swimming is somehow effecting basketball, he has no right to an opinion on any other activity the kids are participating in. Actually, I would think that swimming would be great conditioning and help tremendously with other sports.

That being said when DC was 5 she was on swim team. At practice one day another mother asked me what sport she was going to specialize in... When I asked what she was talking about, she essentially wanted to know what sport DC was going to focus on through high school. I think I answered "skiing", but I was shocked. This mother had a 7 year old on the same team. They were not "specializing" in anything, they were having fun... she was in Kindergarten!

[hellokitty]

This is rough. We are a big baseball family, my husband coaches and 3 kids on his autumn ball team do football and baseball. They do miss games and practices, but at least the families were up front about it. I think from the coaches perspective they don't want to get blindsided. IDK anything about basketball, but in baseball, if you don't have enough kids, you take an automatic out each inning. This has happened a few times and it sucks, so coaches just want to make sure that they have enough kids to play.