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  1. #1
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default Got Cheese? 'Cause I Need a Whine Party

    First things first:

    I am OK, DD is OK, and DH is getting to be OK, but I want to grouse a bit here because the rekindling of the friendship with the kid-down-the-street is a pain-point right now.

    Kid-down-the-street ("S") and DD had a major blowout fight back in January. They stopped speaking to each other until about June/July when DH, seeing how miserable and isolated DD felt due to lockdown, tried to patch things up with S's mom to see if S was willing to start texting/FaceTiming while they played Animal Crossing's latest game.

    They spent most of the summer pretty sociable and, with the easing of some additional restrictions and DD's good masking habits, have started riding bikes and walking the neighborhood together in the past month or so.

    School started 2 weeks ago; both S and DD are in 5th grade and have their recess/lunch period at the same time. They've been hanging out during lunch since school started, either riding their bikes or, now that S has broken her arm, hanging out on S's front stoop and talking.

    TODAY, however, S was irritated that DD hadn't responded to texts or FaceTime calls because DH and I have temporarily impounded DD's devices (iPod and iPad) to reduce her overall screen time outside of school. S, like any child who is upset, can say extremely cruel and cutting things. DD struggled to explain that her devices had been impounded, but S continued to insist that DD was hurting her feelings by not answering.

    I appreciate the fact that different families' rules regarding technology use vary widely, but right now having my 10-year-old in tears and refusing to participate in the afternoon's lessons for school because of something outside her control is really unfair.

    DD will not be getting her devices back any time soon (she has not yet earned them back), but, LORD save me from 5th grade girls!
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  2. #2
    petesgirl is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I'm sorry, that really is unfair. Can you contact the parents and explain? Maybe they can help S understand.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  3. #3
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    Maybe write a note.... Dear S Please excuse dd for not responding to your facetime request. Her phone has been impounded?

    So Sorry! I get it. 5th grade drama is awful. and its downhill from here for a few years.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  4. #4
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Default Got Cheese? 'Cause I Need a Whine Party

    This may not be the best way. I had DS’s phone at night, and a girl kept texting him asking him to reply with each word as a new text and it was very late at night. I got tired of it so I replied “This is DS’s mother. He does not have his phone. I have his phone” She quickly replied”sorry”. He then told her his phone is shutoff at certain times and if she texted she was going to get me.


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

  5. #5
    Liziz is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by niccig View Post
    This may not be the best way. I had DS’s phone at night, and a girl kept texting him asking him to reply with each word as a new text and it was very late at night. I got tired of it so I replied “This is DS’s mother. He does not have his phone. I have his phone” She quickly replied”sorry”. He then told her his phone is shutoff at certain times and if she texted she was going to get me.


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains
    I've done this too!
    Lizi

  6. #6
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by petesgirl View Post
    I'm sorry, that really is unfair. Can you contact the parents and explain? Maybe they can help S understand.
    S lives with her mom & stepdad, so we reached out to S's mom. I want to find a nonintrusive way to ask about any visitations S has coming up with her father because she is always extra-sensitive after those visits. (From the way S's mom tells it, her ex is less interested in S as a person than as a "win" over S's mom, which is really sad. He has also had issues with alcohol & drugs, and has gone to jail for, I think, possession-with-intent-to-sell charges, but I'm not 100%.)

    Quote Originally Posted by doberbrat View Post
    Maybe write a note.... Dear S Please excuse dd for not responding to your facetime request. Her phone has been impounded?

    So Sorry! I get it. 5th grade drama is awful. and its downhill from here for a few years.
    I am really not looking forward to middle school next year (our middle school is grades 6-8.)

    Quote Originally Posted by niccig View Post
    This may not be the best way. I had DS’s phone at night, and a girl kept texting him asking him to reply with each word as a new text and it was very late at night. I got tired of it so I replied “This is DS’s mother. He does not have his phone. I have his phone” She quickly replied”sorry”. He then told her his phone is shutoff at certain times and if she texted she was going to get me.
    I had DH write a quick note to S's mom explaining that DD's devices had been impounded (and switched off, so we don't even know that a call or text is coming in) and, thankfully, the girls made peace during lunch yesterday, but my point still stands - LORD save me from 5th grade girls!
    Last edited by lizzywednesday; 09-26-2020 at 10:50 AM.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  7. #7
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My head is going to explode because DH is doing the "we're getting a dog" thing again because DD had a crapfest of a horrible day at school today.

    Apparently, the choices are either "pump her full of antidepressants" or get a dog as "a family project."

    Which, because I know both DD and DH, basically means I get dumped with another thing to do badly and I am AT CAPACITY.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  8. #8
    jgenie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzywednesday View Post
    My head is going to explode because DH is doing the "we're getting a dog" thing again because DD had a crapfest of a horrible day at school today.

    Apparently, the choices are either "pump her full of antidepressants" or get a dog as "a family project."

    Which, because I know both DD and DH, basically means I get dumped with another thing to do badly and I am AT CAPACITY.
    I’m sorry!! I hope you’re able to get through to your DH that a dog IS NOT IN THE CARDS FOR YOUR HOUSE!
    for Carmen

  9. #9
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by jgenie View Post
    I’m sorry!! I hope you’re able to get through to your DH that a dog IS NOT IN THE CARDS FOR YOUR HOUSE!
    I sent him this link:

    https://www.thesprucepets.com/the-co...ership-1117321

    He got resentful that I am anti-dog and said I wouldn't make the same arguments if he'd said we'd get a cat.

    Actually, I would make DIFFERENT arguments because, as much as I want a cat, and I do, we're not in a position to get a cat, either. Especially since I can't figure out the logistics of controlling dander/saliva for the allergic family members (which include DH, FIL, my brother Ger, and my SIL), or placing the litterbox somewhere that it won't make the entire house stink like poop. (I learned early with my childhood cat, Shadow, that I am incapable of daily poop-scooping without feeling the need to vomit.)

    I am at capacity and a dog would push me over the edge.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  10. #10
    newnana is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    ohhaaaallllnoo


    If commisseration helps at all, my DH has taken to feeding the squirrels because I won't let him get a dog. He's lost his d*mn mind. He's feeding it my pecans and doesn't do any of the shopping or grocery pick up/meal planning/cooking cleaning even though we both work FT. I'm not buying more (of my) pecans when they run out to put an end to it and will not tolerate the crazytalk that will ensue.

    Not one more thing. Stay strong.

    There will always be bad days, we do not need more shiz to add to the list of things to do rather than learn to deal with it. Because we all know who that list falls to.

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