Quote Originally Posted by lizzywednesday View Post
My skin is prickling all over because I've internalized all the stress from managing my own anxiety about the pandemic, dealing with DD's teachers, job hunting (HA!), and supervising school-at-home.

DH is starting to talk about "the Arizona plan" in the event things get really bad here (again) because he doesn't want his mom to go through any health crises while unsupported by family. We would DRIVE out to AZ, through states that are currently on our state's travel restrictions list, taking suitcases, supplies, food, DD's schoolwork, our bikes, etc., all to live at his parents' 2nd home for an indeterminate time during a f^cking pandemic.

I can't even begin to explain why this is a terrible idea. I appreciate that he isn't happy about letting his parents travel out west, and that he was a f^cking beast all spring/summer until the ILs got back from AZ, but HOLY CR@P.

We won't be in our own space. (This bothers me. I'm fine with spending a week out there, but the prospect of spending months out there fills me with existential dread and sends my anxiety into the stratosphere.)

DD already struggles with transitions; this is a big reason we've opted to keep her remote, but transitioning to a new space plus the time-shift? NO.

I will be responsible for DD's schooling back-shifted 2 hours (so, rather than starting class at 8:45am, she'll start at 6:45am, which means I have to get her up earlier to feed her and give her breakfast) - which demands that we also impose on MIL & FIL for the use of the kitchen (main house w/kitchen vs casita w/o kitchen) earlier than we'd normally do.

DH insists that MIL will be available to help with DD's school, but *I* insist that MIL has her own life and it's extremely unfair to expect her to assist. (I'm also suspicious of MIL's particular flavor of "help" - I love her and respect her opinions, but for DD, interventions from MIL will not be helpful.)

DH insists that MIL & FIL "owe" us because of all the help they've given BIL/SIL with their kids, but I disagree. They're in their 70s. They're retired. They've raised their own children. They do not owe us one dang thing.

I finally told him to stop bringing it up and plan for Thanksgiving instead - we won't be getting together in person because we simply do not know what's going on this year with numbers, restrictions, or the weather - so that if I have to figure out how to brine & cook a turkey, and the sides he likes, and desserts, I can grab a timeline. It's just too much!
Send him on his own and enjoy the peace!!