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  1. #71
    ArizonaGirl is online now Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzywednesday View Post
    Well, we told her last night (4/6) and while it went better than we expected, it still caused rolling-on-the-floor tantrumming and, after an ENTIRE DAY WHERE SHE THREW CRUMPLED PAPER, NOTEBOOKS, AND HIGHLIGHTERS AT ME, a decision that I was suddenly her BFF and she wanted to be with me.

    To which DH reacted as if I'd killed a puppy and drunk its blood by telling her to bug off because "we'd just laid some heavy news on her"

    OK, so she noped out of school on Monday, but Oh, OK, sweetie, you can have your Switch and your tablet. (Great, she also has to SHOWER because SHE STINKS but Heaven forbid she misses social time with the b!tch kid down the street who's using relational aggression to manipulate her, but fine.)

    She noped out of school on Tuesday, but, oh, OK sweetie, you can have your Switch and your tablet ... AND you can annoy your already frazzled mother with a DEMAND to cuddle, and oh, look how mean Mommy is rejecting you. (Um, no, but OK, fine, and when she's up half the night because you allowed video game time after 6pm and won't get up to eat, get dressed, and log into homeroom, YOU can handle mornings because I'm on strike.)

    What else can we do? (Um, how about try ... PARENTING?)

    Eff all of this.

    Today, she's grounded, but I have to take her for a walk.
    I have to answer her teachers' emails.
    I have to get the phone calls from the school psychologist.
    I have to pull teeth with the outside therapist who can't seem to figure out technology and scheduling so I CAN ACTUALLY GET MY KID TO AN APPOINTMENT WE VERBALLY AGREED ON EARLIER THAT WEEK because in-person stuff beyond medical/dental is outside our comfort zone.

    And I am exhausted.
    I am hurt.
    And stop informing me that I have no friends, no skills, and no job.
    I just want to give you a
    Lindsey

    Married to DH June 2005 gave birth to Shawn December 2008 and Lilian August 2012




  2. #72
    jgenie is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m not far from you. Happy to have you come hide out for a while to let someone else deal with everything. I’m guessing two nights away would have your DH singing a different tune.
    for Carmen

  3. #73
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    Seriously, Lizzy, this really sucks for you! I know itís the bitching post, but your DH is completely in the wrong.

    Take yourself out of the picture completely rest of this week or next week, by going out of town for 2-3 days and leave it all to DH to handle DD. And donít let him let her opt out of her in person school days too.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14

  4. #74
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    I just want you to know that it's not you. You are doing an amazing job with your DD and the situation. I hope you can get away for a few days to take care of yourself and give your DH the opportunity to be 100% responsible.

    Sending you hugs and virtual support.
    Mom to Two Wild and Crazy Boys and One Sweet Baby Girl

  5. #75
    hbridge is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I have SERIOUSLY been there... pre-covid...

    Give me a bit, I will PM you...

  6. #76
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    I'm also sending you a giant hug.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  7. #77
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I'm so sorry to read this. I hope things are going a little bit better now?

  8. #78
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    I'm so sorry to read this. I hope things are going a little bit better now?
    Well, on the bright side, school hasn't called while she's in the building, but getting her home and re-focused on remote work (students are dismissed at 1:25pm and then expected to log back into Zoom by 2pm for afternoon class sessions - this is no different from what she was doing while remote, except for the transition from school to home) has not been easy.

    Yesterday (Tuesday), she said she cried during the day because she missed us.
    Monday, she was extremely upset because she had an "excellent" day in school.

    Both days, it was a battle to get her logged into her 2pm sessions. Today, we're back to her usual behavior at home because Wednesdays are full-remote for everyone except the stand-alone special ed (autism/multiple disabilities) classes.

    It's only the first week, and it's not even done yet, so we're expecting some adjustment.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  9. #79
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by jgenie View Post
    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m not far from you. Happy to have you come hide out for a while to let someone else deal with everything. I’m guessing two nights away would have your DH singing a different tune.

    Thank you; even if I'm not going to take you up on it, I really appreciate everyone offering.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  10. #80
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quick update and more news:

    DD successfully transitioned to 4-days-a-week in-school hybrid (she still has ~1.5 hrs of class in the afternoons) and the transition to the brief remote instruction periods in the afternoons became easier during the 2nd week.

    This week, the district is adding Wednesdays back to the in-person rotation, which DD is nervous about, but she'll be fine doing.

    She's losing some of the "I'm bored and the kitchen is right here" weight she put on during 100% remote (she'd randomly leave class and grab snacks; I should note that all students receive a snack period around 11am to get them through to their 1pm lunch period - all students have lunch then, as in-person school is running on an early dismissal timeline) and is making more connections to in-person classmates now that she's going in.

    I'm starting to re-set my own task-lists and other self-focused behaviors, which is good because I was getting really snappish and hypercritical. (Now to work on that with DH ... but he's got to stay out of the bedroom during the workday first.)
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

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