what are your teen's internet rules ?

[SnuggleBuggles]

We learned the hard way that you can be tech savvy and absolutely sure you know what's going on... and be absolutely wrong. Even the most responsible kid can end up scraping the bottom of the internet and finding predators. There are ways around filters (Circle)--keeping a phone off wifi, for example--and the school devices do not lock down some sites that they should. DD is our only kid with a phone so far, but is not allowed upstairs, and we took Safari off of it completely. She has an iPad that she uses for reading and music at night. She does have instagram, but her audience is limited, and that's the only social media she has. DH is logged into her account on his phone, so he sees everything. We've learned a lot in the past year.

What’s to stop her from opening a 2nd Instagram account? Our kid has 2. (Eta- and we’re ok with that- he’s an older teen and I have no problem with him wanting a “just friends” account vs one his parents see). I just think they’ll always stay one step ahead if they want to.
It sounds like a rough experience though and I don’t mean to come across callous.


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[keh602]

What’s to stop her from opening a 2nd Instagram account? Our kid has 2. I just think they’ll always stay one step ahead if they want to.
It sounds like a rough experience though and I don’t mean to come across callous.


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That's the tricky thing about instagram. It's too easy to create a second account. She knows we can--and do--check her phone. After a year of working through everything with her counselor, I genuinely believe that she has no desire to go backwards. We're still very careful though.

[AnnieW625]

My 14 year old has an Instagram account and that is her only social media. She does see tiktok videos via Instagram though. She wanted Snapchat for awhile too but dh said no and now the popularity of it seems to have cooled off.

Internet wise she has access and so far I have no need to check things. Online she mainly watches ballet performances, old hockey fights on YouTube, and movies through Netflix and Amazon Prime Video. She knows she is not allowed to watch any thing that is rated R or TV MA without a parent (although I think Outer Banks May have been tv MA and not TV 14). I try to watch what she watches as well, but still need to watch Outer Banks, finish All American, and the Hillary Swank astronaut show (forgetting the name), all of which she already finished. We plan to watch Cobra Kai as a family (although not sure if it is appropriate for Dd2 and the it may not interest her....she was only mildly interested in The Karate Kid when we watched it last week).


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[niccig]

DS got his phone in 7th grade. We told him the rules we had and we kept eye on his use. At first he followed everything we set out, but then we found he was doing things we said not to with social media, specifically Instagram. He got consequences and then he went behind our backs and set up second Instagram account, and we found him up gaming in middle of the night. There were a few things where he wasn’t being trustworthy. So we pulled back on his freedoms including an app on his phone that let us shut down apps/control use and locked down the computer. He had to earn back our trust.

He’s sophomore now and he has had full access since 9th grade. He’s matured especially in the last 6 months and is more responsible. Helps that he wants to get his license and the conversation around that has always been we must see him being responsible in daily life before he can drive. Middle school was more difficult with phone/internet use.


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[niccig]

What’s to stop her from opening a 2nd Instagram account? Our kid has 2. I just think they’ll always stay one step ahead if they want to.
It sounds like a rough experience though and I don’t mean to come across callous.


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Yes they can. DS did and we found out and he got consequences of phone being locked down with an app. We had a period where we pulled back on his freedoms as consequence of going behind our backs with the phone and other things. The kicker is, if he had asked we would have said yes. DH was really mad about the lying


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[KpbS]

Well, our family rules are unique to our family. We have had many instances of breaking trust and rules before. My kids have in the past used my computer (with internet filters that report) and now they use Macbooks that have parental controls with a limited number of preapproved sites. When they use my computer they must be in the family room/kitchen/living room.

[carolinamama]

DS1 is in 9th grade. His phone was pretty locked down until this past spring when I took off the strictest blocks and allowed some social media. I have his passwords but probably don't check often enough. I'm sure he is looking at some inappropriate material because I'm realistic, but he's 15 and here we are. He does have a laptop in his room now because of distance learning but we didn't previously allow computer use outside of the downstairs areas. DS2 is in 6th grade and got a phone 2 weeks ago. It's locked down for now with no social media. Hopefully he won't figure out how to work around the apps I use for a few years. I still rely on old fashioned measures that my kids cannot thwart - phones must be in my bedroom before bed each night, I take xBox controllers and tv cords when I feel it's necessary and can perform quick checks on phones at any moment.