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Thread: ugh

  1. #1
    ezcc is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    Default ugh

    It is our 20th wedding anniversary. I came downstairs and found a fancy coffee (cappuccino?) maker, along with accessories, electric grinder, cups- But, nobody in our house drinks coffee! I bought a little French press for dd this summer because she sometimes likes to drink coffee, and once in a while I will make myself an iced coffee but generally prefer tea. I mean I will get a cappuccino in a restaurant occasionally but have no desire to make them at home. I'm really puzzled at why dh thought this would be a good gift- I think he was probably reaching for something to surprise me with, but umm - it takes up a lot of space and I just plain don't want it! I know his feelings will be hurt if I say something. I'm guessing he saw me and dd making iced coffee this summer and thought maybe it was going to be more of a thing- not sure. We have dinner plans and were maybe going to look at bikes this afternoon- so I thought that would be it- I get that 20 is a big one and he wanted to do something special, but he really missed the mark with this....

  2. #2
    Liziz is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    First, Happy Anniversary! 20 years -- go you guys!

    Second, ugh is right. It's so hard to get a very disappointing gift from someone close to you that you really care about - both because there's a disappointment with the gift and then the part about feeling bad you don't like it/don't want to disappoint the person. Sorry this one wasn't at all what you expected....I hope the day improves from here and the dinner and bike shopping will be much better!
    Lizi

  3. #3
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Happy anniversary!! We were 20 this year too. Someday we will get to go to HI as planned.
    Enjoy practicing your barista skills . Ugh.


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  4. #4
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    Happy anniversary from fellow anniversary twin! 15 years for me. 20 is a big milestone, but yeah this kinda falls flat.

    I would tell him. Especially as you say it’s pretty big and takes up space, for something so occasional. Can you say you’ll love some more biking accessories and return that pricy coffee setup so both of you can use the money to jazz up your bikes?


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  5. #5
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by DualvansMommy View Post
    Happy anniversary from fellow anniversary twin! 15 years for me. 20 is a big milestone, but yeah this kinda falls flat.

    I would tell him. Especially as you say it’s pretty big and takes up space, for something so occasional. Can you say you’ll love some more biking accessories and return that pricy coffee setup so both of you can use the money to jazz up your bikes?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    I like this suggestion. I can relate--some of DH's gifts have been questionable...(I'm looking at you plastic Frozen purse???) but nothing says "we've done 20 years together and plan on another 20" like being able to be honest about that right? Although I TOTALLY understand everything about you are expressing. The way that it isn't at all something you'd like and that it is costly and takes up space. At least he remembered and tried?? Just looking for a silver lining on your behalf! I love the idea of bikes. Biking has been such a respite during this strange period of time!

  6. #6
    mom2binsd is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I'd just wait a few days and then bring it up, like a lot of things, it won't seem as big of an issue if you give it time, and then offer a way to better enjoy a gift together.

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  7. #7
    hellokitty is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Happy anniversay! 20 years is a big milestone! I agree with the others to show your gratitude, wait a few days and then open up the conversation about maybe exchanging it for something different.

    I have kind of been in this situation before. DH bought me diamond stud earrings, well it turns out I was allergic to the earring posts, he was sad about it, but we were able to exchange it for a pendant instead. Maybe let him know that you prefer tea over coffee, because the caffeine kick is more gradual and that the higher caffeine content in coffee isn't something your body can handle everyday.
    Mom to 3 LEGO Maniacs

  8. #8
    ezcc is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    Thanks for the well wishes and advice! I talked to him about it, and as I suspected- he thought it was something dd and I would get in to together, and truthfully she was pretty excited about it. Actually looking at it that way I think it was pretty sweet because he knows I want to find more ways to connect with her (slightly angsty teen). So, I am keeping it. We'll see how much use it actually gets- first step, buy some coffee! But the rest of the day was great- we had a nice dinner out- first time since January? I am guessing, maybe longer for just the 2 of us. And we test rode some bikes so that looks like another nice thing for the near future. Happy anniversary to you DulvansMommy as well!

  9. #9
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Oh that's nice! That is actually really thoughtful and you are a good sport! Glad to hear the rest of your anniversary was wonderful and wishing you another 20 happy years.

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