Would you expect communication from school?

[calebsmama03]

I honestly think I would be contacting the police to talk about the issue and whether they should be getting involved. While it is unlikely they’d prosecute - esp if no images are found- around here they do get involved with even consensual “sexting” cases to really impress on kids how serious the issue is. It’s DA discretion here but could be charged as possession of child pornography if they choose to. And older kids taking pics of a younger child in the bathroom is a big deal and I’m shocked the school isn’t taking it more seriously.

[calebsmama03]

This is a thought--and I'd love to hear feedback from the rest of the board. What about moving up the chain instead of going to the police? The person you talked to does not sound adequately versed in administrative procedure or aware enough of what kind of potential implications this incident might uncover or expose the school to. SOMEONE above them will undoubtedly be better trained and more cautious and careful about these sorts of things. It should raise all kinds of red flags to anyone with any kind of proper training in school administration. Can you keep moving up the chain? To the principal proper? To the district administration? To the superintendent? My guess is that someone there will recognize the gross potential for harm to the children and to the school if things persist and will want to minimize the impact to both through swift action.

Fellow BBBers what do you think? I'm trying to honor the PPs request for minimum impact on her DD but swift action for change in policy.

I'm not at all convinced that what happened to her DD won't happen to another child under the current circumstances.

I don’t think it’s “either/or” here. I would say “both/and”. Yes clearly more training is needed and better policies on the older kids being in the school, etc but the school is not adequately equipped to investigate a kids phone for potential inappropriate photos.

[urquie]

Shortly thereafter, the principal went to DD and told her she'd found who it was by watching the video system

~The school says the girls say they didn't try to take any pictures, they just went to the bathroom to "tell secrets" and that one accidentally dropped her phone right outside the stall my DD was in -- which does not match with my DD saying "a hand holding a phone was put under the door" and I don't buy that for a second.

Have you asked to see the video/s? If the camera angle is good, that will clear up the situation.

If there is more than one camera, will they allow you to view all the videos? If any video corroborates your daughter’s story, it may disappear.

[o_mom]

Have you asked to see the video/s? If the camera angle is good, that will clear up the situation.

If there is more than one camera, will they allow you to view all the videos? If any video corroborates your daughter’s story, it may disappear.

It is unlikely there is video inside the bathroom (that would be concerning). More likely the principal looked at video from the hallway to see who entered after OP's DD.

[bisous]

OP, I want to reiterate to you that your child is important and there are educators out there, at all levels that do care about her. But many have conflicting motivations. They are stressed and overwhelmed by logistics or they may be prioritizing providing a peaceful resolution to all parties over doing the right thing which might lead to difficult choices and consequences that upend the status quo. I think the biggest reason you should go forward with this process is to protect your DD and other elementary kids who may run into this problem. By the way, kudos to your DD for recognizing what was going on and telling someone about it. I can't help but imagine that my youngers would probably think a phone in the bathroom is funny and become compromised through their naivete or silliness.

That said, I think the best recourse for getting help on this issue will be to appeal to the potentially explosive consequences this incidence exposes for the school. This will get results QUICKLY from anyone who is even remotely keyed into how the optics will play. That's why I say go up the chain.

I agree with others that going up the chain doesn't mean you can't also appeal to the police.

Good luck OP. I'm sorry

[bisous]

OP, I want to reiterate to you that your child is important and there are educators out there, at all levels that do care about her. But many have conflicting motivations. They are stressed and overwhelmed by logistics or they may be prioritizing providing a peaceful resolution to all parties over doing the right thing which might lead to difficult choices and consequences that upend the status quo. I think the biggest reason you should go forward with this process is to protect your DD and other elementary kids who may run into this problem. By the way, kudos to your DD for recognizing what was going on and telling someone about it. I can't help but imagine that my youngers would probably think a phone in the bathroom is funny and become compromised through their naivete or silliness.

That said, I think the best recourse for getting help on this issue will be to appeal to the potentially explosive consequences this incidence exposes for the school. This will get results QUICKLY from anyone who is even remotely keyed into how the optics will play. That's why I say go up the chain.

I agree with others that going up the chain doesn't mean you can't also appeal to the police.

Good luck OP. I'm sorry

[urquie]

Have you asked to see the video/s? If the camera angle is good, that will clear up the situation.

If there is more than one camera, will they allow you to view all the videos? If any video corroborates your daughter’s story, it may disappear.

It is unlikely there is video inside the bathroom (that would be concerning). More likely the principal looked at video from the hallway to see who entered after OP's DD.

OP said “Shortly thereafter, the principal went to DD and told her she'd found who it was by watching the video system they have for the non-stall area of the bathroom...”

[jgenie]

OP - I’m so sorry this happened to your daughter. I hope the school steps up and handles it appropriately.

[Kestrel]

I missed that earlier - the school has videotape??? Do they actually have video of the older child at the stall door?

Make sure this video gets to the police - it's evidence!

[Liziz]

OP here - to clarify, the video is of the hallway outside the restroom, not inside, there are no video cameras inside the restroom at all. I misunderstood originally.

We received additional communication from the school today but not sufficient. We're going to keep moving up the chain and we're not ruling out any options, but are taking it one step at a time. At the end of the day we don't want to destroy the school, we just want appropriate actions and changes for the safety of our children and all children.

I'm going to take a break from giving lots of details about what we're being told and what we're doing because 1)this is public and I don't want to unintentionally share too much and 2)being angry and dealing with something like this is exhausting, and for my mental sanity I'm trying to take breaks from thinking about this when we're not actively dealing with it.

I deeply appreciate all your support and knowing the wise mamas of the BBB are on the same wavelength is more reassuring than I can say! I will share an update with yall at some point in the future when we're not in the midst of it all.