Would you expect communication from school?

[pharmjenn]

I also wouldn't trust that the principal knew how to search for all the places the picture could have been on the phone. There are social media apps that don't write to the camera roll, for example.

Highly probably the MS kid was just messing around and had the flashlight on or flicked it so it looked like a flash, but in zero ways is this behavior okay during normal times. During COVID with no visitors policies having unsupervised MS kids running around an elem school picking on kids in the bathroom? That's without letting my mind wander to what else could be going on. NOT OK.

I agree with PPs, this situation as a whole is a big deal.

[COLOR=#000000]
Principal looked through the phone and determined there were no photos...

What qualifications does the principle have, to search a pocket-size computer, and make sure a photo was not taken and distributed before it could be hidden or deleted?


- Did she check the deleted photo folder, the hidden photo folder?
- Did she check emails and text messages to make sure nothing was sent before it was deleted?
- How would you check Snapchat?
- Instagram?
- WhatsApp?
- What else? There are so many ways to hide photos etc, on hidden apps.

My MS son uses some of the above, and others (discord, even google classroom) where he uploads photos (appropriate ones) so there is no way that a single adult would know all the places a photo could hide, or that it had not already been sent to friends of this girl.
I think a police report is a good idea, if only to scare the offenders to think twice before doing something like this again. If the police have reason to, they also have specialists that can search the phone and find deleted and hidden files.

[elektra]

Something similar happened to me in high school. A boy hid in the girls bathroom and had a mirror on his foot. My friends told me to get out of the stall because they saw his feet. Someone went and got a teacher, they cleared the bathroom and dragged the boy out. The police were called by someone (I guess the principal?) and I had to get interviewed and give a statement. And that was only a mirror, not a camera capturing potential child pornography.
However, I don't think my parents were called! Different times and different scenario but I feel for your daughter and yes the school should have called you. I would be extra pissed about the middle schoolers being on campus too. I think I would be very vocal as the parent in this situation.

[Liziz]

Thank you all for the gut check. All of your initial reactions were mine too, but I feel like I'm constantly over-expecting in terms of communication (in general, not just at school) and I doubted myself for a second. Since I've posted DH and I have been able to talk as well and his reaction was similar to mine and all of yours.

DH happens to have tomorrow off work due to another meeting we have early tomorrow. I just emailed the principal, documenting what happened and letting the principal know we intend to come to the school tomorrow morning to address in person.

I agree and already had the same thoughts about the fact that just looking at the gallery on the phone isn't enough to know that no pictures have been taken. Is there actually anything we can do to to check though? I want to make sure we're prepared to be very clear about what we expect the school to do. And I do agree with everyone who suggested grace as well and we'll go in calm as I realize the school may be taking it super seriously but just not contacted us yet.

I just really really want the school to take it seriously. I don't want to file a report with the police, for my daughter's sake and for the other kid's sake (who while I know could be a budding pedophile is probably just a kid who made a super bad choice). If the school takes it seriously and I think we'll feel comfortable leaving it with the school. But I'm kind of stressing myself out as the principal also has a reputation for being fiercely protective of her teachers (usually in a really great way, of course) - but I'm worried that protectiveness will spill over negatively into this situation as the person who did this seems to be a teacher's child.

[niccig]

Good that you’re following up. I’d want to know what the school will do going forward to keep unsupervised middle school students away from the elementary students. You can have grace that it’s Covid and middle school gets out out early, but that doesn’t mean they can mess with the elementary students like this. They should not be around the elementary students


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[Kestrel]

It really bothers me that these MS kids are on campus at all. Is your school closed campus for Covid? If so, then it's closed to those MS students, too. I wouldn't have problems with the MS being dropped off there and waiting in the parents' car, for example - but they should not be allowed in the school. ES students' safety takes priority over teachers' child care issues.

That being said - there needs to be a written report documenting witnesses and what happened. If the school is willing to do this and put a letter in the MSer's file, good enough. If not, police report. My fear is that if the photo gets out, you'll need to have proof. So many teen offenders are given a free ride until something really bad happens - but if there's a pattern, it can be addressed before it gets bad. I also agree with a previous poster that your child should never be put in the MS child's parent's class.

So sorry this happened to you. Your child may need to speak to a professional, also. Maybe the school councilor is good enough, maybe not.

[KpbS]

Yes!!! And I’d expect that middle schooler to be expelled and trespassed from the school. That could result in police being called though with no pictures, less likely to charge. It is one of those things that can range from idiot tween or teen idea of thinking it is funny all the way to first steps toward being a sexual offender. But I would expect to be called and told by the school and to know that student is barred from the premises especially since not a student. If a student, would need to follow due process and guidelines but for staff child, they need to be gone.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I would want to be called, but doubt our school would. I would also want action taken on the child/children who put the camera under the stall. Since there is no “student” confidentiality you should be told what is happening. I would want to know who the child is, and make sure your child is not placed in their parent’s class. I would worry about retaliation down the road. If they won’t give you information, I would definitely file a police report.

Adult supervision of non-student kids on campus sounds like a minimum action plan... a separate bathroom for their use alone, during school hours.


Principal looked through the phone and determined there were no photos...

What qualifications does the principle have, to search a pocket-size computer, and make sure a photo was not taken and distributed before it could be hidden or deleted?


- Did she check the deleted photo folder, the hidden photo folder?
- Did she check emails and text messages to make sure nothing was sent before it was deleted?
- How would you check Snapchat?
- Instagram?
- WhatsApp?
- What else? There are so many ways to hide photos etc, on hidden apps.

Yes to the above. I would be livid.

[jbbhb]

I’m so upset about this for you and your daughter. I would have expected to be called immediately. This is very wrong on so many levels. I agree with all the other posters that it’s very likely the photo was deleted or stored somewhere else.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[doberbrat]

Add me to the super upset/heck yes you should have gotten a call. Let us know how it goes with the meeting.

[Moneypenny]

I'm really sorry this happened! In our district, the principal would be required to contact the police immediately (and obviously give you a call immediately as well). This would be (accurately, in my opinion) treated as an assault.

[mom2binsd]

The principal is naive, most likely the pic was for snapchat, which is easily deleted. They need to have the parents of that student and possibly the other kids to figure out what and who were in on it, sounds like a challenge/dare situation. I would absolutely escalate this and I'm usually one to take a wait and see approach.

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk