Parental Controls - why is this so hard?

[niccig]

We had issues with DS in middle school and freshman year of high school. He’s much better now about getting work done. There is still more YouTube or a game up as he does homework than I would like, but he’s submitting his work on time. We had to always be on top of his work and deadlines, but he’s managing much better now. He’ll come and ask for help too with something. He never used to do that. He even initiated a conversation about college with me yesterday.

Just putting this for you to know that it may get better as she gets older. Get through this period as best as you can without damaging your relationship. We saw a behavior specialist for DS’ medical condition, and she gave great advice on dealing with difficulties of school. It helped DH and I change how we dealt with things as it was a difficult time for awhile.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[candaceb]

Did you see the new option the district is giving to parents - Securly? It may help a little. My son was freaked out by the fact that I could read off every site he visited in the last week.
(Our kids are in the same district for anyone who thinks this is completely random).

[elizamom]

We did not have success with Disney Circle. Right now I’m manually going into the Orbi app and turning on and off devices as needed. So far, it’s the best thing I’ve tried yet.

[elizamom]

Yes to below, also! We had slowly fallen into bad habits that led mine to feel entitled.

If I may make a suggestion... I am a little surprised at the parents who say they are taking device away. We set up our household as the opposite - no one is "entitled" to a device and gets it "taken away". Video games and extra computer time (outside of schoolwork) are an earned reward, not something they are entitled to unless they screw up.
We haven't yet had the issue of sneaking; but we have had issues with their time being up and the "I just need to finish this one thing" taking another half hour. Generally that means an extra chore here.

[gatorsmom]

gatorsmom, this is all so helpful. I have been hesitant to take things away for a long period of time because I would rather reward positive behavior than punish negative behavior but it looks like we are heading down that path. Right now they have no screen time (outside of school, HA!) during the week. If they get through the day with no other tabs open other than the ones required for school, they can earn 30 minutes. It's all or nothing.

They all have things to doodle with, some small legos, and other fidget toys on their desks. I agree this is really hard. I just think that my DD2 needs the social pressure to behave that she would have at school At home she doesn't care lol.

I was dreading the virtual learning this year just because it’s all so new to all of us. It’s been hard.

I understand what you mean about positive behavior. That is definitely important. I have received push back here on the bbb before for “punishing” my kids so I really should mention that I give constant positive feedback to my kids and Dh. And maybe that’s why setting strict consequences works well when they don’t behave. They like the positive and seek it. I give it easily and frequently. But breaking rules have consequences that are uncomfortable. Their world is happy and pleasant as long as they follow the house rules.

[DualvansMommy]

I'm surprised the school doesn't have monitoring software they are using. Around here all the districts use Go Guardian and can see what the students are on and can even close them out of it. DH teaches 6th grade and is teaching a fully remote class. He can use Go Guardian to see what websites the students are on on their school issued chromebooks and log them out of it. So he catches students on youtube, gaming, listening to pandora, watching netflix, etc and can close them out of it. My DDs' schools (different district than DH) also uses this software. My kids know that the school district is watching their every move.

Now that doesn't help if the student is using their own technology, watching netflix on home TV, or playing Nintendo Switch, but does help with their school chromebooks at least.

That is what my kids district introduced, and why they wanted us to use the school issued laptops instead of the personal ones. It was just introduced 2 weeks ago, which I guess the district decided to do after many parents emailed and phone calls to IT dept complaining of similar issues as OP faced.

It’s been really helpful, IMO!!!! They can use it to help troubleshoot the students and parents to access or look up something online, so helpful for my 1st grader. Now his teacher can access his and see what Ds2 is trying to find, instead of me trying to get involved and both of us upset cuz I couldn’t help or find it.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk