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  1. #1
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    Default How often do your tweens shower?

    Ok, maybe this should be a BP, but looking for what you all do. Getting DDs (ages 10 and 12) to shower is such a battle lately! Right now, they shower every other day, but it’s an exhausting process, often involving yelling, threats, consequences, etc. Once they get into the shower it’s fine- they’re obviously completely independent, but getting them to actually do it is painful. So much so, that we’re thinking of going down to once every 3 or 4 days instead. Is that enough?

    Curious how often you make your tweens shower. FWIW, my kids are in school every day, so it’s not like they’re out of public and at home all day every day.

    And please tell me- at what age do kids magically decide they WANT to shower because they don’t want to stink?!! I can’t wait until they actually decide they need to do it themselves. We’re so tired of the crazy battle! I know it sounds ridiculous, but my kids can’t be the only ones who just don’t ever want to shower.
    Last edited by mm123; 11-29-2020 at 09:45 PM.
    DD1 '08
    DD2 '10

  2. #2
    PunkyBoo is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    My 11 year old DS2 showers every other day. He does not do anything athletic except PE when at school and bike rides around the neighborhood. So far it's been enough to keep him from being too stinky, but yes it is often still a battle. DS1 is 16 and he showers when he knows he needs one, but he also plays a sport several days a week so he'll shower as soon as he gets home. So it depends on the kids, but generally they start to care between 11 and 16!

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    Mama to DS1 Punkin (2/04) and DS2 Boo (1/09)

  3. #3
    essnce629's Avatar
    essnce629 is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My 11 year old DS2 showers daily.

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    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
    Parker 5/23/09 (My 2nd home birthed water baby!)

  4. #4
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Hmm, my tween doesn’t need to shower every day yet so he showers about 3 times a week. In your shoes, I would just make a rule they shower every other day (eg every even or odd day) and that’s that. They know the rule, no arguing.
    K

  5. #5
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    DS will turn 11 later this week. For the most part he showers every day at my insistence. His underarms will often smell like day-old onions if he does not. It’s a battle here as well. Yesterday he went to basketball skills training, and came home sweaty as could be.And he still didn’t want to shower. He wanted to jump on his video games. I shut that down real quick.
    DS: Raising heck since 12/09

  6. #6
    MSWR0319 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    My 12 year old also puts up a battle. Not all of the time, but a good majority of the time. In general he showers every other day, except when he has sports.

  7. #7
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Every 3-4 days is fine!!! Only reason it wouldn’t be is sports/activity. My tween only showers when we nag him. And I’m embarrassed to admit how many days can go by.
    I think ds1 started showering unprompted around 13yo. He takes 1-2/day now. We noticed a marked decline in our water bill when he was at college.


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  8. #8
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    Both my kids are resistant to showering. We do twice a week but I think more would be better. DS is 7 and it’s a full on fit to get him in the shower. DD is about to turn 12 and I think for her she’d rather spend her time in other ways. She doesn’t smell but I think she should probably be washing her face at least daily. I also feel like showering more frequently would be a good habit to get into. Anyway, you aren’t alone OP.

  9. #9
    jgenie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My tweens shower daily. It had become too much of a struggle to get them to shower when they needed it. We went to daily showers to take the fight out of it. They only get screens on weekends but they can lose that if they choose not to do what they are supposed to do. A reminder of screen loss is usually enough to get them to comply.

  10. #10
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    My kids are swimmers, so that’s like a daily bath, right? . Anywhere between once a week and nightly. If he doesnt have swim practice late at night, DS1 (11) showers nightly. When he swims late, he doesn’t shower. Pre-pandemic, he often “showered” after swim practice. DD (14) showers nightly.
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

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