Elf on Shelf...WWYD?

[Liziz]

I think if it were my DD I'd try talking to her more directly to figure out why exactly she wants the elf, and what she's hoping to get out of it. I'm honestly struggling to believe that at 11 she truly believes that the elf is a real live messenger coming to watch her behavior to report back to Santa, and therefore wants it for that reason. I'm wondering if you can meet her "need" in some other way than the elf, if that's something you don't want to get into. I think I'd approach it something like "you know, the Elf is a tradition in some families, but it never has been in ours. I think there might be other fun ways we can do something new to celebrate the holidays besides an Elf. Do you have any ideas?" Of course if you think having an Elf will bring her lots of joy, and you're willing to put in some work, then go for it. There's certainly nothing wrong with doing it. But I just wonder if there might be another way to make the holiday just as special, or more special, by doing something other than the Elf.

[infocrazy]

I bet some of her friends have pinterest elves...do creative hijinks, bring presents, etc. Our elf only moves every night...except when he tries to be tricky and stay in the same place. I'm in the hey add some magic to Covid camp...but I only have one believer now and the other 3 are excited to take turns. I'd see if your older kid is interested...it could be an easy way for both of them to have a little magic.

[echoesofspring]

We reluctantly did the elf a couple years ago after holding it at bay with DS, but DD was just so adamant. Part of the problem is that I have a collection of vintage elves from the 70's and earlier, so she just couldn't believe there wasn't a magic elf in the bunch. Of course last year she found the elf from the year before in the Xmas decorations after I forgot to separate him, it was the perfect demonstration of her *choosing* to believe - DS called phony but she just she picked out the one she wanted and said it was his turn. I usually have a week long work trip in mid december (thankfully not this year!) so I thought the tradition might help DH, but DS totally revolted against the idea of an elf watching him. We discovered our security camera pointed at the elf one day

DD makes up her own mythology about the elf (he didn't come until part way through dec b/c we didn't have a tree - well that's ok, he never comes until you have a tree, etc.). I can't imagine not doing the elf for her this year, she's put so much energy into *every holiday* this year, even writing long letters to the tooth fairy. But this will probably be our last year. We're pretty mellow about what the elf does and whether he moves everyday. I did pick up some candy the other day. Having the elf quarantine is brilliant, totally doing that!!

[essnce629]

Our elf only moves every night...except when he tries to be tricky and stay in the same place. I'm in the hey add some magic to Covid camp...but I only have one believer now and the other 3 are excited to take turns. I'd see if your older kid is interested...it could be an easy way for both of them to have a little magic.

I agree with this! Just get the elf! It's only a big deal if you make it one. We've had an elf for years and I don't do anything crazy with it, just move it to a new location each night. Some nights I forget and I just say "wow, looks like he loves that one spot." DS2 is 11 and excitedly put his advent calendar tonight and I'm sure will be looking for the elf tomorrow. It's been a crappy year, I'm all for doing whatever it takes to make it a little better.

[wendibird22]

DH agreed to buy the elf. She arrived via Prime later this week. He figured this is indeed a sucky year, keeps the magic for Xmas in a year there’s not much magic, and will be something going forward that will be a link to their childhood.

We will move her around but not do the extra. I have no doubt that DD2 knows it’s not real, even if she believes in Santa, but she wants one cause her friends all have one and she sees the fun of it. She’s my kid that can play make believe and fantasy morning to night but is also very grounded in reality. She’s the kid who went to WDW at age 5 and knew full well all the characters weren’t real and yet pretended they were and got great joy from the believing.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

That’s a good update.


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[AnnieW625]

Same! I never regretted doing Santa! And it's sad that that phase of life is over. As they always say, it goes by in the blink of an eye.

So many years ago my mom asked us all if she still needed to do Santa gifts and we were between 30 and 20 then and we 3 all said yes. So even though everyone now knows Santa isn’t real (including my kids) we still do Santa gifts.


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[gymnbomb]

So many years ago my mom asked us all if she still needed to do Santa gifts and we were between 30 and 20 then and we 3 all said yes. So even though everyone now knows Santa isn’t real (including my kids) we still do Santa gifts.


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My Mom still mails me Easter boxes. Clearly I have known for over 30 years they weren't coming from a bunny, but we still have fun with it At Christmas we usually say the gifts we don't want to admit having bought are from Santa/Mrs. Claus/Rudolph/etc.