Answering questions when both parents are signing questionnaire I or We or both? HELP

[jacksmomtobe]

I am working on private school applications for my son which are due today. As I am the parent who handles all the school stuff I am the one actually completing the forms on our behalf. I have a better handle on all the schools that my son is applying to as I am the one watching the videos, participating in zooms. I also have more knowledge on our sons' academic history and am also more familiar how today's school work. I have struggling with how to word the answers. My natural way would be to say I and mention my husband as my husband x. For some questions this makes sense since the portion of the answer relates to us individually. I'm wondering where there are sections about hopes for our son's experience, at a school is it ok to mix in we since that would be covering more our join opinion? Is is weird to mix the two pronouns? Other schools have had one parent sign which doesn't seem as confusing to me.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Do you mean saying “I” and “we” and then signing as both of you? It wouldn’t pass an English test probably but I don’t think they’ll judge you negatively if you do in this case. But, I’d probably just say “we” though. If you both agree that applying to private school makes sense then I assume you both have hopes for your ds’s experience. If you’re doing this and he’s totally opposed then that’s trickier.


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[Liziz]

I've had this dilemma before, and still sometimes feel a little odd about how I write when sending emails to teachers, etc. for the exact reasons you're saying. I am always the one doing the writing, but in many of the cases it's after a conversation with DH, so I'm expressing our joint opinions. I've come to the conclusion it's not a big deal and I just use what seems natural in that spot and don't worry about it anymore. : )

Note - if it was for something very formal, then yes, I would avoid mixing pronouns and be sure to always stick to "us/we" or "I/me" -- but for forms where the point isn't formality but just information (like the "about your child" forms teachers send home, or emails) I'll mix the two as it comes naturally. For example, I'll usually start an email with "My husband and I were talking with DD today" or something like that to show early on we're both involved, and I'll sign both our names -- but the email is coming from my account so I know the teacher knows who it's really coming from.

ETA: and even on a "formal" feeling application, I would have no problem switching pronouns BETWEEN questions -- if the question applies to one parent only, answer in that parent's voice (even if you're the one writing it for your DH), and if the question asks something applicable to both parents (like your hopes for your child), then use "we".

[jacksmomtobe]

OP Here. I am glad that I am not the only person who has issues with this. Normally I would prefer to write as "I" and often in an email I would put my husband in parenthesis showing that the email is on behalf of both of us. For this questionnaire at the beginning I talk about how DH went to a competing school and how I am familiar with the school for other reasons so these are statement about us individually so I have written these separate sentences as if I am doing the writing. Then in the middle of the questionnaire when it asks about our son I switched to using "we" since the points are being expressed by both of us. With this clarification this clarification does my approach seem ok?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I really think your approach is fine.


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[Liziz]

Yes, I think it seems totally fine!

[essnce629]

When I filled out DS1's private school applications I'm pretty sure I used "I" for all the same reasons you mentioned above.

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