Every time it pops into your mind put in a visual box and on a shelf and then distract yourself (loud music, call someone, write something down, listen to an audio book, watch a movie whatever works). A behavior modification — put a rubber band around your wrist (loosely) and snap it every time you think about it (negative reinforcement). If you HAVE to think about it — schedule it — at 9 am I will think about this for 5 minutes. Set a timer. Then stop, do no indulge yourself to think longer about it.
Results 11 to 15 of 15
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01-16-2021 #11
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DS #1 Summer 05
DS #2 Summer 07
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01-16-2021 #12
Clean Sweep forum moderator
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We use “sounds like a you problem and not a me problem”. That can sound snarky, but it’s made me realize how many other people’s problems I was taking on.
Originally Posted by mikala
Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains
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01-16-2021 #13
Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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I was going to say this yesterday! This phrase gets used a lot in our house. Saying this makes me smile at a time when I’m typically frustrated. Originally Posted by mikala
" I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.
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01-16-2021 #14
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It’s a Polish saying and we use it also! Originally Posted by mikala
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01-17-2021 #15
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It is REALLY hard. Time will help A LOT!
When I left my last job (teaching high needs kids), I made sure everything was ready for my replacement (who had been hired), left copious notes about EVERY student... I had not anticipated that I would have so much trouble leaving it all behind. It was a very necessary move for MANY reasons, but walking away was really hard! It took about a year for me to get past the guilt and the worry. HOWEVER, I was not still involved in the school or the district.
Try to move on and, if you kids are still involved, do the bare minimum that a parent needs to do. It's okay. You have given your time! Repeat over and over "not my monkey, not my problem" and, as long as it's not detrimental to your kids, do not get sucked back in! When people ask just say "no", practice if you have to. When people ask what happened and why you are no longer involved, it's okay to tell them, it's also okay to say that you need to focus on other things...no need to elaborate... not their business. Protect yourself and protect your kids, the rest is "not your monkey, not your problem"...
Sending hugs....
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