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  1. #1
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default "Contagious" Infirmity?

    Without fail, whenever I'm down, DH gets sick or injured too. Most of the time the illnesses are difficult to diagnose. They are things like back pain or indigestion. He doesn't do it on purpose, for sure, but I think he actually has something almost subconscious that allows him to believe that he is sick/injured whenever I'm down too. When we were first married, I thought he was trying to steal the attention and sympathy but now I think it is more that he doesn't want to be left out! He's a bit of a natural hypochondriac too though he does have a good amount of legitimate health ailments too.

    This time around, Monday morning I start feeling sick from a UTI. He flounders, not knowing how to be in charge of the kids on a holiday during quarantine. I see him waste hours while I'm trying to rest. Then he goes out and does something silly to make DD laugh and throws his back out. Then we're BOTH down for the count. We made the day work, these things happen and it is a pandemic so we rolled with it. I am past the point that I really resent this mostly because parenting is no longer physically difficult. And honestly DH is dealing with a lot right now and like all of us, needs tenderness.

    I just wonder if anyone else has ever had a spouse that falls ill suspiciously every time you do--even when the "illness" isn't contagious? What it mostly does is make me never want to be sick!

  2. #2
    Smillow's Avatar
    Smillow is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Oh yes.... He is notorious for it. And his version of whatever it is is always much worse than the version that I or DS has. His “illnesses” also get worse upon reflection. He was not well taken care of as a child, so I think it has to do with that..
    DS 2/09

  3. #3
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smillow View Post
    Oh yes.... He is notorious for it. And his version of whatever it is is always much worse than the version that I or DS has. His “illnesses” also get worse upon reflection. He was not well taken care of as a child, so I think it has to do with that..
    Do you think your DH even realizes it? DH was well cared for growing up but he had very rough family dynamics. His mom had 5 kids in 3 years! (2 sets of twins a year apart!!) so maybe he really does crave the attention? DH is still in real pain from his back injury but I almost feel like he's making it worse by babying it too much. I feel really bad for him but I'm also really tired and it is no fun to BOTH be out of commission!

  4. #4
    Smillow's Avatar
    Smillow is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    No, he doesn’t realize it all. But it is a total reflex for him anytime a possible symptom is mentioned
    DS 2/09

  5. #5
    ArizonaGirl is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smillow View Post
    Oh yes.... He is notorious for it. And his version of whatever it is is always much worse than the version that I or DS has. His “illnesses” also get worse upon reflection. He was not well taken care of as a child, so I think it has to do with that..
    I could compare and relate word for word, down to the neglected childhood.
    Lindsey

    Married to DH June 2005 gave birth to Shawn December 2008 and Lilian August 2012




  6. #6
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    When I was pregnant with DD1 and it was my due date DH got a mystery abdominal pain that required me to drive his butt to the ER in the middle of the night. The docs and nurses kept asking me when I was due and I was all “today!” I had to leave him at the hospital in order to go to my OB appointment to schedule my induction. Yup. Alone. My doc and nurses kept asking where DH was and they couldn’t believe it when I said the ER. He was basically having contraction like sever pains. A dozen different tests on him including GI series, X-rays, etc and they found nothing wrong. He left later that day and was fine.


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    Gluten free since Nov '11 after non-celiac gluten sensitive diagnosis. Have had great improvement or total elimination of: migraines, bloating/distention, heartburn, cystic acne, canker sores, bleeding gums, eczema on elbows, dry skin and scalp, muscle cramps, PMS, hair loss, heart palpitations, fatigue. I'm amazed.

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