Family planning super spreader funeral!

[nfceagles]

I’d be tempted to announce that I am planning a separate grave side ceremony later for anyone preferring a safer option. Hire a local pastor to officiate, maybe a local college violinist for some beautiful music, and some nice words. Livestream it too. I’d be tempted to demand more from your mother since she lives with you. If she still has her place I’d be tempted to tell her she needed to live there for 14 days after. Or that she will have to quarantine in her bedroom for 14 days after if she chooses to attend.

All that said, I know this is so much easier for me to say then it would be to do if it were actually my mom mourning her mom. Such an impossible situation. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.


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[essnce629]

So my grandma's viewing is today (right now actually) and the funeral is tomorrow. All my family (not the 5 of us) are at my grandma's viewing. My mom decided not to go. The funeral home messed up the timing of the rosary service, so they're all just sitting inside for over an hour now waiting for the rosary to begin! Thank goodness my mom didn't go!

The five of us will be attending the outside burial at the cemetery tomorrow afternoon. We will be skipping the indoor chapel service and the indoor taco party at my grandma's house afterwards. We all have N95 masks.

[nfceagles]

So my grandma's viewing is today (right now actually) and the funeral is tomorrow. All my family (not the 5 of us) are at my grandma's viewing. My mom decided not to go. The funeral home messed up the timing of the rosary service, so they're all just sitting inside for over an hour now waiting for the rosary to begin! Thank goodness my mom didn't go!

The five of us will be attending the outside burial at the cemetery tomorrow afternoon. We will be skipping the indoor chapel service and the indoor taco party at my grandma's house afterwards. We all have N95 masks.

Oh hugs!!! Your poor mom. I’m glad she made that decision for her and your family’s safety, but I’m sorry she has to grieve her mother like this.


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[doberbrat]

Major hugs to you and your family

[ang79]

So sorry that you have had to deal with all of this. Even when you know you are doing what is best for your family, it is hard to have this outcome. You and your family are in my thoughts!

[PunkyBoo]

Latia, you've been in my thoughts. Perhaps you and your mom can plan a memorial in your home, for just your immediate family and mom. Pull up old photos, everyone tell a loving or funny story about her, ask your mom to tell about various times in her life, so everyone has good thoughts and good memories as you say goodbye to grandma. Maybe cook Grandma's favorite recipes, listen to music she liked, wear something she would love...
I couldn't attend my beloved uncle's memorial because I was high-risk pregnant with DS2, who was due in 2 weeks, and the memorial was too far a drive from my hospital. I still wish, 12 years later, that I'd had my own memorial or that we'd figured out how to somehow livestream it so I could "be" there.

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[California]

Latia, you've been in my thoughts. Perhaps you and your mom can plan a memorial in your home, for just your immediate family and mom. Pull up old photos, everyone tell a loving or funny story about her, ask your mom to tell about various times in her life, so everyone has good thoughts and good memories as you say goodbye to grandma. Maybe cook Grandma's favorite recipes, listen to music she liked, wear something she would love...
I couldn't attend my beloved uncle's memorial because I was high-risk pregnant with DS2, who was due in 2 weeks, and the memorial was too far a drive from my hospital. I still wish, 12 years later, that I'd had my own memorial or that we'd figured out how to somehow livestream it so I could "be" there.

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This is such a thoughtful suggestion. It may give your mom (and you!) some comfort if you hold a special evening for your own household where you remember your grandma. So sorry Latia that your uncle's poor decisions keep impacting your family in such a painful way.

[bisous]

Your plan sounds good. I am so sorry that you'll have to miss these other events but it definitely sounds much safer what you're planning on doing! I'm glad you'll be able to go to the grave. I admire you for doing such a diligent job to balance all the needs of your family--your grief and your safety.