The mean girls have taken over the PTO

[belovedgandp]

I'm so sorry. I too have been involved in an elementary PTO that had leadership extremely intentional on keeping every decision transparent and including as many people as possible.

I think it tends to cycle. People truly don't "get" the idea that just because YOU don't know a certain parent doesn't mean they aren't interested in helping. There are over 400 students at this school, you are not going to know every parent. So be nice and talk to the ones brave enough to show up to help.

I am on my last few months of elementary school after a 12 year run. I was a classroom type volunteer for all 12 years, but only heavily involved at the all school level the final six. It's definitely time for me to move on and I'm trying to check my own behaviors and decisions as a short timer.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm so sorry. I too have been involved in an elementary PTO that had leadership extremely intentional on keeping every decision transparent and including as many people as possible.

I think it tends to cycle. People truly don't "get" the idea that just because YOU don't know a certain parent doesn't mean they aren't interested in helping. There are over 400 students at this school, you are not going to know every parent. So be nice and talk to the ones brave enough to show up to help.

I am on my last few months of elementary school after a 12 year run. I was a classroom type volunteer for all 12 years, but only heavily involved at the all school level the final six. It's definitely time for me to move on and I'm trying to check my own behaviors and decisions as a short timer.

So true!

I am drafting my "resignation" now and tried to explain my concerns with the direction things are taking. When you are in the "in crowd" you don't realize that you could be excluding people. I hope that they do what they can to welcome new volunteers because, like you said, it's a cycle. I have been involved for 13 years and have seen so many versions of things over the years. I was told this year that one of the leadership positions didn't need to be filled because "we got this". Yes, you might but you won't be doing this job forever. You need procedures and policies that are easy to simply hand down to your eventual replacement. You need mechanisms in place that make sense long term. I also think there was an air of "we don't need *you*" which, of course, feels pretty crappy. I am writing up all of my stuff now so I can step down and not deal with this group anymore.

[gatorsmom]

So true!

I am drafting my "resignation" now and tried to explain my concerns with the direction things are taking. When you are in the "in crowd" you don't realize that you could be excluding people. I hope that they do what they can to welcome new volunteers because, like you said, it's a cycle. I have been involved for 13 years and have seen so many versions of things over the years. I was told this year that one of the leadership positions didn't need to be filled because "we got this". Yes, you might but you won't be doing this job forever. You need procedures and policies that are easy to simply hand down to your eventual replacement. You need mechanisms in place that make sense long term. I also think there was an air of "we don't need *you*" which, of course, feels pretty crappy. I am writing up all of my stuff now so I can step down and not deal with this group anymore.

I'm sorry, that really sucks, especially after you have been involved for over 13 years. It's really selfish behavior of the mean girls too, since it will affect how well the group is managed later on. It's just going to hurt the PTO in the long run. How do they get anything accomplished by alienating their volunteer base?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm sorry, that really sucks, especially after you have been involved for over 13 years. It's really selfish behavior of the mean girls too, since it will affect how well the group is managed later on. It's just going to hurt the PTO in the long run. How do they get anything accomplished by alienating their volunteer base?

All questions/ concerns I’ve posed. They need to think long term or there will be no willing volunteers to step in later. Maddening.


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[MSWR0319]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I just quit a board due to similar problems. The mean girl came in and then drew her friends in and convinced them all sorts of inappropriate things. I hung on as long as I could, but when it got to the point of harming the organization I couldn't do it anymore. I quit. I worry about the longevity of the organization and how it will turn out, but I couldn't stick it out any longer. It was unhealthy and miserable.