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  1. #1
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Default How would you handle this?

    This is kind of a delicate situation. I posted here a month ago about DS1’s college search. He very much wants to be a mechanical engineer. He is dyslexic and dysgraphia with slow processing speed. He also struggles
    with and is medicated for depression. He gets mostly A’s in school (I haven’t seen his latest GPA but it’s above 3.6 I’m sure). Since last summer he’s been preparing for the ACT test, and getting extra tutoring for it. He took the practice ACT last summer and I think his score was 28 or 29. His tutor felt that with accomodations for his learning disabilities he could do much better. So we had him retested and I requested accomodations for ACT. They approved them. He registered for and received emails saying confirming his registration, what to bring the time, etc. He appeared at the testing center on February 6th and was promptly told that they couldn’t give him his accommodations. When he asked why they referred him to the superintendent. He asked to be directed to the superintendent who looked up his registration somehow and said that yes, he was approved for the accomodations but they were not prepared to give those to him and he was also registered as an 8th grader. Ds1 is in 11th grade!! He took the test anyway and came home home annoyed.

    I complained to ACT and asked for some explanation. Apparently someone massively screwed up because they said they’d have to escalate the complaint. Fortunately a week alter they emailed saying they were refunding our fee and he was re-registered for the April test with accomodations. I figured since they refunded our money that they would scrap the test he took in February. No- I just got an email with his scores. They are very low. The composite score was 23. I don’t think he got the email because i registered him for the test and so I think the scores only came to me. I’m not sure he saw the scores.

    Should I tell him? I normally share everything with him but he already struggles with depression. The scores on the next test should come up because he will be more relaxed, he’ll have his accomodations and he won’t be preoccupied with the situation. But I still think I shouldn’t tell him. He’s taken 2 college tours recently to colleges within driving distance and he really, really likes the Milwaukee School of Engineering. He even said,
    ”These are my people, mom.” He will have to raise his ACT score up back to 28 to get in there.

    Thoughts?
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #2
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    Normally I am big on telling my kids the truth. But this one I think I might wait to tell the truth on it. I don't think he gains much from being told before the next test that he is taking. He wasn't able to do his best on that test because of all the screw-ups. I don't have any learning disabilities and that would had sent me into a panic attack and I would have screwed up the test too.

    Do you have access to his email? I have my kids passwords and I would check to see if he got the email. If so a gentle encouraging talk. If not I wouldn't bring it up. But will he bring it up before April?

  3. #3
    newnana is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    You know your kid better than we do, but for my kid, that would be a mega hard no before the next test. She struggles with anxiety and depression and would already be anxious for the next test without confirmation she did poorly on the previous one. She would have great peace with the previous test being scrapped and all the chaos around the screwups and it would help her to know that she was doing everything right with working hard to prepare and working with ACT to get what she needs. Knowing her test scores would only negatively impact her, so I wouldn't. I'd let her walk away from/leave the bad experience behind her rather than dwelling on a score she has no ability to change by focusing on it rather than the work to be done.

    Not at all in the same league, but when DD was in middle school and had a jerk choir director that gave her an F on the emailed report card that came in the middle of summer, I didn't breathe a word. The grade would not be on her HS record to view, she already has confidence issues and loves to sing. She's now (not now with covid, but made it last year) in show choir and does voice lessons outside of school (yay zoom!) and gets great joy from it, she would have abandoned all of that from that one grade since they often had to sing solo in front of class in whatever range he assigned them that day.

    And like frugalmom says, I'd check check, triple check he doesn't get it. And then let it go. If he brings it up... and maybe if he gets the email, I'd just reiterate that that ACT acknowledged the errors and refunded and rescheduled the test.

    I could be wrong, but that's what my heart is saying right now

  4. #4
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    essnce629 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I don't think I'd tell him myself, and maybe he won't find out before April's test, but I'm pretty sure he'll find out on his own eventually so definitely don't lie to him.

    ACT messing up accommodations has been a frequent thing during the pandemic. It happened to my friend's DD a few months ago and I've heard it mentioned in the college FB groups multiple times.

    As he starts the college app process he'll be logging into his ACT and College Board accounts frequently and will continue getting emails from both throughout the process. Some colleges take self reported scores, while others want official reports. I know my DS had to go back into his ACT account in order to send off the official reports. Unless you plan on taking over the entire process, he'll see all his scores.

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    Last edited by essnce629; 02-19-2021 at 01:32 PM.
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  5. #5
    essnce629's Avatar
    essnce629 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Also, does he have any friends who also took the test the same day? My son always knew the scores were out because his friends mentioned it.

    I also registered my son for the test and I'm pretty sure he got all the emails. They have to have the student's email as well.

    Sent from my SM-A515U1 using Tapatalk
    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
    Parker 5/23/09 (My 2nd home birthed water baby!)

  6. #6
    Globetrotter is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Something like that could definitely throw off anyone taking a high stakes test. I think he must know. As PP said, aren’t others talking about it? I think I was cc:Ed on everything but the kids got the score reports at the same time.
    I agree you shouldn’t bring it up if he doesn’t know, and after the April scores come out you can explain that you didn’t want to make him nervous before the April test. He will eventually see his score reports but you might be able to postpone it until April.

  7. #7
    icunurse is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I would tell him. He is old enough to know and deal with it. He can learn from it and focus to retake it. Consider it a practice test.

    My bigger concern would be how he will handle the future. Engineering is a difficult major (DH is a mech engineer and went to a highly ranked college). There are only so many accommodations that will be able to be realistically given. He will really need some coping skills to deal with any stress or, potentially, bad grades, repeating a class, etc. I hate that so much stress is on our kids to succeed, achieve, be the best. I feel like rallying in HS is just making it harder for them in college and beyond.

  8. #8
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Latia, you were right. He did get the email with his scores. He just came down for lunch and said he got the email but didn’t open it yet. I told him that he probably shouldn’t because it wouldn’t help him to know, especially since he didn’t get his accommodations. I told him instead he should check them AFTER he takes the next test in April. He said he agreed but he walked off before he said anything else about it. I hope he listens to me about this.

    He was the only kid from his school taking the ACT at this location (very small private school).
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  9. #9
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by icunurse View Post

    My bigger concern would be how he will handle the future. Engineering is a difficult major (DH is a mech engineer and went to a highly ranked college). There are only so many accommodations that will be able to be realistically given. He will really need some coping skills to deal with any stress or, potentially, bad grades, repeating a class, etc. I hate that so much stress is on our kids to succeed, achieve, be the best. I feel like rallying in HS is just making it harder for them in college and beyond.
    If it’s what he wants, shouldn’t he try for it? He has learned to work HARD from having a disibility. If it takes him 6 years to get his degree, so be it. I agree that too much stress on our kids can be harmful but I won’t be the one to tell him not to try because he might fail.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  10. #10
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    If there is a particular subject he really struggled with maybe nudge him to practice it more.

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