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  1. #11
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    So sorry. People really suck. The balance of work and home always hasn’t been strong, and I find the pandemic is causing lots of unrealistic expectations cuz everyone is working from home. That fine line to begin with is disappearing rapidly.

    I hope you take some time off soon to reboot and indicate why if pushed. People need the ability to reset completely if needed. I work in one of the most stressful fields; domestic violence but the other side of the coin is having a team that is very emphatic and tuned. If we had someone on our team going through what you were going through, youlll have a lot of support.


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  2. #12
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    I'm sorry. I'd be pretty upset as well.

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  3. #13
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by wendibird22 View Post
    That really stinks. People are so wrapped up into their own world sometimes (most times!) that they don't think of others.

    Are these women located in another region? I wonder if they are from the snowy northeast for example and oblivious/ignorant to how impactful snow and freezing temps are to places like Texas who aren't built for that.
    They are from all over the US - from the west coast to the midwest to the east coast. So, maybe they're unsympathetic but Texas was allll over the news for the crisis we were in (I grabbed a few CNN screenshots for our own memory-making since we were so front-page news), and I specifically stated in my email what I was dealing with (no power, no heat in single digit temps that dropped to negative numbers at night, no internet, spotty cell service) and still...the only response I got was "we need it in a week". No heat in a house that drops into the 40s with kids and pets is waaaaaay different than having heat in the middle of a winter storm with no kids to care for. But I guess people wouldn't know unless they experienced it. And when I delivered the project, NOT A SINGLE THANK YOU from them.

    Unfortunately, fair or not, this has colored my personal opinion of these women and the "teamwork" environment that they say they are fostering but really aren't.

    I mean, I had colleagues from PAST companies I worked for texting me to ask if we were OK! Ugh. Still so sad, but I am going to get over it and pull on my big girl panties and soldier on.
    Last edited by twowhat?; 02-24-2021 at 09:34 PM.

  4. #14
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    Ugh I'm so sorry! My mgr lives in Austin and I know he was so busy last week just trying to survive and keep the kids warm and fix all their busted pipes, etc. He was so happy a couple days ago when he finally got a hot shower. We talked as a team about how can you possibly focus at work if your basic needs aren't being met. That just sucks that your coworkers aren't more clued in.
    ~ Dawn
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  5. #15
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    wow, that is AWFUL. i am so sorry. I would feel hurt as well.

    Is this typical of the work culture in your company or industry? Is it like Wall Street where you are always expected to sacrifice family/personal life for the job type thing? While it is hard not to take it personally, sounds like a reflection of the company culture (which doesn't make it any better..) And my first thought would be - do these people not have kids at home? I would imagine any mother, no matter what location, would be sympathetic to this situation - having kids at home in a pandemic is no fun, add an unprecedented snow storm and loss of power/heat in the mix- ridiculous demands.

    As someone who works in the defense side, very old-school, I honestly was pleasantly surprised after last week... without saying anything I got most of my customers reaching out and texting asking if i was ok, telling us to stay safe, they were thinking of us and postponing meetings. Most were beyond understanding, i think after seeing the news. i ended up taking 3 days PTO last week to deal with the fallout of the storm. i was without power/cell service one day (so i literally coudln't work at all) and the other days the house was still too cold to do much work, plus i had to prepare the house/kids in case it went out again. It was literally survival mode. I would have flipped if someone was expecting me to be productive as usual those days.
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 02-25-2021 at 09:11 AM.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by twowhat? View Post
    And it makes me sad. I live in TX, so was greatly impacted by last week's arctic winter storm, 2 days without power/heat, etc. On the first day without power, I got a "request" to do a rather large project for work. Cell towers weren't working well here either but I managed to get an email out about what was going on in TX (as if the national news weren't enough). My boss tried to be helpful and asked how important it was to get this project done, given my situation. The answer was basically that it was needed within a week. No email saying "are you OK?" No texts. No calls. Nothing. Just "we need it next week". From people I work with on a daily basis. So, cold, frustrated, and angry, I got it done. Don't ask me how I did it, but I consider it a superhuman feat. I'm also dang good at what I do.

    And I'm so mad and so sad.

    That is all.
    I'm sorry. Last week was terrible, and not having the support and understanding of your colleagues makes it that much worse. Accomplishing anything other than survival last week WAS a superhuman feat.
    Quote Originally Posted by echoesofspring View Post
    Ugh I'm so sorry! My mgr lives in Austin and I know he was so busy last week just trying to survive and keep the kids warm and fix all their busted pipes, etc. He was so happy a couple days ago when he finally got a hot shower. We talked as a team about how can you possibly focus at work if your basic needs aren't being met. That just sucks that your coworkers aren't more clued in.
    I feel like I spent the whole week clearing limbs, filling water bottles, and boiling water. Boiling water, cooling water, filtering water, having handwashing water, toothbrushing water, teaching the kids to brush without running water, watering chickens....it was exhausting, and we didn't have any busted pipes like many people. I still have a pot of boiled water on the stove and several water bottles full of water that I just can't seem to throw out yet.

  7. #17
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I'm sorry OP. That is terrible. It was plastered all over the news so I don't know how you coworkers could have missed what you were up against! Crazy!

    And petesgirl, I can't even with your story about being asked to work the day after you buried your baby. Sometimes people are so thoughtless.

  8. #18
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by twowhat? View Post
    Definitely not tech. And mostly women, too. ...
    There are times when I think women are worse at work when it comes to stuff like this. It's like "oh, you just found out about some devastating news, but we're gonna need that project yesterday, mmm-kay?" is standard so they don't look "weak." *sigh*

    It may not be something you "should" let bother you, but I'm gonna tell you that it's OK to feel p!ssed off about it. The fact that they give lip service to "teamwork" makes it hurt more, I think.

    I asked my BFF (she's near Round Rock) if her pipes were OK because my other friend, who lives near Houston, had pipes burst. (It was actually the first thing I thought of BECAUSE I'm in the Northeast - the risk of freezing to death is real, but when the temp drops drastically in your house, it increases your risk of burst pipes!)
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  9. #19
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzywednesday View Post
    There are times when I think women are worse at work when it comes to stuff like this. It's like "oh, you just found out about some devastating news, but we're gonna need that project yesterday, mmm-kay?" is standard so they don't look "weak." *sigh*

    It may not be something you "should" let bother you, but I'm gonna tell you that it's OK to feel p!ssed off about it. The fact that they give lip service to "teamwork" makes it hurt more, I think.
    I have to agree. I was just gonna say, i wonder if some women in the workplace tend to "over-compensate" with this kind of thing, and purposely act all aloof and heartless, and very demanding.. maybe so they look more "committed to the job" than other women? I think in the "Lean In" book, Sheryl Sandberg actually mentions this and how damaging it is , because it is not only is so discouraging to other women, it really promotes toxic work culture. I loved her quote "there's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." SO TRUE.

  10. #20
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥ View Post
    I have to agree. I was just gonna say, i wonder if some women in the workplace tend to "over-compensate" with this kind of thing, and purposely act all aloof and heartless, and very demanding.. maybe so they look more "committed to the job" than other women? I think in the "Lean In" book, Sheryl Sandberg actually mentions this and how damaging it is , because it is not only is so discouraging to other women, it really promotes toxic work culture. I loved her quote "there's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." SO TRUE.
    I guess this could be the case, and boy is it awful!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by petesgirl View Post
    I learned things about my colleagues the hard way, too, when my daughter died-- some made the effort to put in on a visa gift card for us, some came to her funeral, some did not ever acknowledge it at all, and my boss was worst of all-- asking if I could come in and work the day after her funeral, even though company policy stated I could have 3 full days off.

    I just think a lot of people get really uncomfortable when anything goes wrong in life and they just prefer to sweep it under the rug instead of confront the hardship. We don't know how to emotionally support each other very well in our society.
    OK so I'm purposely not going to use the term "b*tch" because that's typically reserved for women (and I'm only assuming your boss was a woman, which I don't know). Man or woman or anything in between, THIS is such an A$$HOLE thing to do. Your boss is an A$$SHOLE. I cannot even make up a valid excuse for that kind of behavior.

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