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  1. #11
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    I’ll say this as someone whose mom and childhood home is in another country. So I don’t have to deal with that aspect. However, she has a fondness of mailing my kids trinks/meaningless stuff you get from the dollar store all.the.time.

    It was cluttering my home. She hasn’t cleared her house of 40 plus years with stuff yet! So I didn’t want her stuff going into my home. I became the gatekeeper and throw it out before my kids saw it. I told mom this after repeatedly asking her not to send anymore. Meaningful cards/books, bday and Xmas gifts is fine. I don’t feel any guilt whatsoever. You do what you need to keep your sanity in your small quarters.


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    Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14

  2. #12
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Man. All I can say is that I want to be a better minimalist after watching the toll that stuff takes on my family, on my parents' family, etc. Yet during the pandemic some of the "stuff" we had accumulated actually did come in handy! Having lots of toys still to rotate, all of our books, board games, etc. has been nice. My favorite thing with Marie Kondo is the silly idea of thanking stuff. It sounds hokey to some, but it makes me feel free and gracious instead of feeling guilty about letting stuff go!

    Thank you for all your commiseration!

  3. #13
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    I have a de-cluttering business, so I deal with both ends of this problem.
    My suggestion is "one in, one out". If your children want to accept something from the grandparents, they have to pick something else to donate/pitch/whatever.

  4. #14
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by candaceb View Post
    I have a de-cluttering business, so I deal with both ends of this problem.
    My suggestion is "one in, one out". If your children want to accept something from the grandparents, they have to pick something else to donate/pitch/whatever.
    This is a good strategy. My kids have issues with getting rid of things. I have danced around it for years by being an "ultra-organizer" and just fitting more stuff in! Or alternately decluttering for them while they are in school. I don't feel like either of those is really the answer. Something like a one in, one out would be GREAT for them and we're going to work towards it!

  5. #15
    hbridge is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    My parents are starting to clean out EVERYTHING in anticipation of them not being here anymore. It makes DC so uncomfortable. I finally had to tell them to stop giving us their beloved possessions because of how it was making DC react.

    It is SO hard! Definitely let them know if there is something specific you want to keep, because they have also gotten rid of stuff I really wanted (I barely saved the wedding dress from the trash).

    Also, start getting your kids to clean out early in life. We have friends that run a few charities, so early on DC would clean out and donate to the children that they service. It helped. Also, when I got really frustrated I would simply tell them each "FIVE thing...go" and they had to come up with FIVE things to get rid of... It worked and now the teenager comes to me with things to get rid of on a regular basis.

  6. #16
    California is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    My paternal grandma did this to my mom, so my mom is very conscientious about not doing this to us. Grandma always went straight to us kids. She would load us up with stuff to take home. I still remember being upset with my mom when she refused to let us keep all of the old stuffed animals Grandma had found in the back of her closet. I was probably 8. And they weren’t even cute stuffed animals, or sentimental. They were just “from Grandma.” Funny memory now!! I guess I can relate to your kids! When you are young and Grandma tells you something is special, you tend to believe her. I’m grateful now that my mom played gatekeeper.

  7. #17
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    . My favorite thing with Marie Kondo is the silly idea of thanking stuff. It sounds hokey to some, but it makes me feel free and gracious instead of feeling guilty about letting stuff go!
    I haven’t read Marie Kondo so I didn’t know this but I love it! There are some things I’m having a difficult time getting rid of and I think this might help me move it out of our life. It’s just a silly little thing but it’s been bugging me. Thank you for metntioning this!
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

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