Coming back to add as I was rushed this morning.
I let my mom get away with saying mean crap and tried to divert DS away from her. She’s grandma, let’s try to have some kind of relationship, he doesn’t see her very often, she’ll get mad and it will ruin the visit etc etc. Then he was 14 and she said mean nasty comments directly to him, such that we’re still dealing with fall out with him.
I regret not standing up earlier and putting myself in between my child and mother and telling her to knock it off. By tip toe around her feelings/beliefs to try and keep the peace, I let DS get hurt.
You don’t have to be confrontational, you do be firm “this behavior won’t be tolerated” change the topic or leave the room. It has to come from the adults and not from the kids. They’re only 15. You and DH protect them and show them how you stand up and tell someone what they’re saying won’t be tolerated. Will grandma probably get angry, yes, but your kids won’t get hurt, and the kids feelings outweighs grandma’s anger here. A “mom I told you were not discussing that/won’t talk like that. How about that crazy rainstorm we had last night...”. If mom persists, “mom that won’t be discussed. I’ll let you finish watching tv. Girls come help me in the kitchen” You shield your kids from grandma. You speak up before the girls can respond to grandma. Tell the girls you will deal with grandma, you and DH deal with her, and there’s no need for them to get into an argument with her.
Sent from my iPhone using
Baby Bargains