Wills and Trusts with Older Kids

[belovedgandp]

I'm finally tackling my 2019 resolution to update our wills. DH and I did an estate plan with our oldest was 6 months old. He's now 17. We haven't updated anything since then. It was written to accommodate future children and really until about 2016 was still exactly what we needed.

But, now we need to change guardians and a few other things and I'm finally biting the bullet. Anything to consider with an almost adult child? Younger siblings are 11 and 14.

[mmsmom]

We just finally went through this process and used an estate planner who brought up things I would have never thought about. It was very helpful to have him to not only think through scenarios but also give us logical options for the scenarios. The main thing I think would be a new consideration for your ages is if you would want DS to have guardianship of his siblings.

We also spent a fair amount of time figuring out how to make it fair for younger sibling if something happened while older sibling had finished college. Older sibling would have college paid for while younger would have to pay from their half. I can’t remember how this is being solved but it seems you would have similar things to consider.

[georgiegirl]

I agree with using a professional. They will know what to do. Eventually we need to revise our will since it was written before DS2 (7) was born and when FIL was alive (we provided for the ILs in our will because they are from another country and have no money.).


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[erosenst]

Add me to the “we revised”. DD was 15. We used an estate attorney and found it totally worth the money.

We switched her guardian from “family a few hours away” to “close friends here” so she could finish high school. While they live in a different district they would know how to navigate letting her finish in high school. We also changed our executor to a family member. Long story but among other didn’t want family fighting with family if one was executor and one guardian.

Other thing I remember choosing this round is the “hit by a bus” scenario - what happens if we all die together. We were able to relatively easily agree after DH suggested thinking in thirds - one third to “his” charities, one third to “mine”, one third important to DD. Thinking through family was harder. This is an unlikely situation. We are fortunate that no one in our family would find this inheritance to be “life changing”. So we didn’t.

We also confirmed that our initial trust was both dated and set up incorrectly. (I was pretty sure some retitling hadn’t been done.)This attorney fixed that for us.


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[jerseygirl07067]

We have a will and a trust. It is set up so that should something happen to us, our kids don't get the bulk of our life insurance initially. They get half at age 25 and the other half at age 35. College and educational costs can still be paid. We did that because DH and I both spent very irresponsibly in our 20's as I expect many people do. This way if they do the same, they only get half then, and the other half in the thirties when most likely they are much wiser with money.

[niccig]

We have a will and a trust. It is set up so that should something happen to us, our kids don't get the bulk of our life insurance initially. They get half at age 25 and the other half at age 35. College and educational costs can still be paid. We did that because DH and I both spent very irresponsibly in our 20's as I expect many people do. This way if they do the same, they only get half then, and the other half in the thirties when most likely they are much wiser with money.

This is something to consider. We need to revise our will


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[erosenst]

We have a will and a trust. It is set up so that should something happen to us, our kids don't get the bulk of our life insurance initially. They get half at age 25 and the other half at age 35. College and educational costs can still be paid. We did that because DH and I both spent very irresponsibly in our 20's as I expect many people do. This way if they do the same, they only get half then, and the other half in the thirties when most likely they are much wiser with money.

I should have added that this was in both versions of our will. DD gets money in 1/3’s, I think starting at 25 although we may have upped to 30
so that she learns to live on her own means. The trustee is clear that education and other needs are to be covered, and that we take a pretty generous view of that (living expenses as a student, “getting set up” expenses after graduation etc.)


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[mmsmom]

We also indicated when kids could have access to funds. 25 is the minimum for us, they will receive all by 35 but we left some discretion to the trustee not knowing how responsible or irresponsible the kids may be. It was also important to us that the guardian and trustee of the kids $ be different people.

We did also need to indicate what would happen is the “bus theory” occurred. In our case it will go to siblings but we also indicated that our own inheritance should not be shared with sibling in law. DH’s inheritance from his parents should go to his sibling only- not my sibling and same for my inheritance from my parents. But our joint assets will be divided evenly.

It really is a lot to consider and you definitely need a pro to make sure everything is covered.

[belovedgandp]

Thank you. Yes, we used an estate planning attorney in 2004 for our wills, medical power of attorney and trusts. We now need to change a few people; most drastically guardians of our kids. The attorney we used back then was in solo practice and moved out of state the year after, so I need to find someone new. I just need to get it off the list and make the appointment. Never fun stuff, but will be good to complete.