How to handle - inappropriate comments UPDATE in 13

[o_mom]

I would speak with the director and coaches, however, frankly, she should haul off and slug him. Bet he would stop!

Definitely share all of the above with the director, but DD may need to take some action like this at some point.

Sorry, but no way would this be an acceptable response to someone making comments (not physically touching).

She needs appropriate ways to deal with this and make sure that it is reported to the coach. Definitely needs to stand up for herself and make it known that it is not welcome, but without resorting to physical violence.

[gatorsmom]

With society providing the message that boys and girls are not equal and that girls and their bodies can be objectified for the pleasure of males, it falls to parents to teach our boys better. This kind of behavior needs a strong response from parents. I’d definitely say something to get that message across.

[DietCokeLover]

UPDATE: I called the director and shared with her what DD and I talked about. As I suspected, she was very bothered that this had taken place and does not want this type of culture within the club. She acknowledged that this was harrassment. She is going to casually pull DD off to the side next practice to clarify which player made the statement to her. She is going to be very careful to not allow DD to be identified or called out in any way. Then she is going to have a team wide conversation with just the boys regarding sexual comments to their girl teammates. Some of the boys she has coached for a long time and has had conversations with them and sees that having had a female coach/ leader has shaped them in a positive way in the way they view females in the sports community. But, she acknowledged that there are quite a few new boys to the club and that those conversations had not happened and it was probably a good time for that. She is also going to speak to the girls and reassure them that type of behavior will not be tolerated within the club. She will also be making the coach (male) aware so that he can also be observant to anything inappropriate. I was very satisfied with her response and 100% trust her to address this. She told me she will follow back up with me after all this has occurred.

DH and I have told DD that she is not to physically do anything to this boy (I don't think she really would, but she was mad and felt that way with reason) but can certainly use her words to communicate to him that she will not be spoken to that way. However, she has been told that if anyone was to ever put their hands on her in an unwanted way that becomes a whole different situation.

As an aside - the night we were talking about this, DD looked at her brother (13) - whom she never compliments and often argues with - and said that she wished more boys were respectful to girls like he is. That sure felt good.

Thank you for all your replies. It helped to validate how I was feeling/ thinking about the situation.

[bcafe]

Sorry, but no way would this be an acceptable response to someone making comments (not physically touching).
She needs appropriate ways to deal with this and make sure that it is reported to the coach. Definitely needs to stand up for herself and make it known that it is not welcome, but without resorting to physical violence.

Oh, please. I was joking. Girls are always told to use their words and voices, yet we get frustrated when not taken seriously.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm really glad that the director is taking good, proactive steps.

[georgiegirl]

I'm really glad that the director is taking good, proactive steps.

Yes. I’m glad she’s taking it seriously