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  1. #1
    ncat is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default I'm married to an anti-vaxxer

    H won't get vaccinated for COVID 19 He says that he is at lower risk for severe disease than for vaccine side effects and has no responsibility for anyone else's health and well being. DD (16) becomes eligible for vaccination Monday and he is adamant that she won't get. (I received shot #2 this week and it is such a relief!)
    ncat
    mama to DD 12/04, DS1 11/08, and DS2 7/13

  2. #2
    petesgirl is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    My DH isn't necessarily anti-vax but he is completely apathetic about getting the vaccine. If he gets it, it will be because I schedule it and push him out the door to get there. :/
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  3. #3
    newnana is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    adamant that DD won't get it? I just couldn't handle that. I'm so sorry, this whole thing is hard enough without additional obstacles in your own 4 walls.

  4. #4
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I'm sorry. I get it. It sucks.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and ... a mini poodle!

  5. #5
    ncat is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    This is just eating me up inside. DD deserves some normalcy but I don't think I can sneak around behind her father's back to get her some.
    He is so adamant about not getting vaccinated that he claims he'll quit his job if they require it.

  6. #6
    jgenie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I’m sorry you’re in this position. It stinks. In our house neither of us has the power to make an ultimate decision about our children without considering the other’s point of view. I would sit down with your husband and hash it out until you are both comfortable. I’m not understanding why his vote holds more weight. At 16, your DD can add her thoughts as well.

  7. #7
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ncat View Post
    This is just eating me up inside. DD deserves some normalcy but I don't think I can sneak around behind her father's back to get her some.
    He is so adamant about not getting vaccinated that he claims he'll quit his job if they require it.
    Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! That would eat me up too. I have no advice, only hugs. I feel sorry for your DD too. It really isn't fair.

  8. #8
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! That would eat me up too. I have no advice, only hugs. I feel sorry for your DD too. It really isn't fair.
    Sorry. This has gotten under my skin. It is just so mean! Even if he has really strong personal convictions, can he at least respect that yours are different and so are DDs?

    Or...Can you use the logic that DD is "willing to accept the negative consequences of the vaccine" (which are super tiny but to be able to compare that he is able to "accept the risk of COVID") to be able to have the benefits of seeing other people?...You know, he really shouldn't live in fear...

    Trump has been talking up the vaccine...maybe that can help persuade him?

    Gah, I'm sorry OP. I'm so glad your vaccinated and I hope you figure out a way to get DD her vacccine.

  9. #9
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Does your DD want to get it? I'd have a pro con talk with her and let her decide what she wants. Maybe she doesn't get the full final say at 16, but she's old enough to have a good part of that decision.

    I also agree that neither DH or I have a full decision making power for the kids. We'd talk and figure out how to agree. Just because he doesn't want her to have it shouldn't mean your opinion is meaningless.

    Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
    Kris

  10. #10
    ncat is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    DD wants to get it. And I don't know how she can practically get a summer job if she doesn't - with needing to quarantine for any travel or exposure.

    H is beyond having any rational discussions - I see no point in trying. He just babbles about the "Kung-flu" and how there is no real pandemic, its all political, etc. I have to do all school pick ups and sports stuff because he refuses to wear a mask outdoors.

    All of the kids are up to date on their vaccinations. This has never been a question before.

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