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  1. #21
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    ncat, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, this would one of those situations I would be very hard pressed to 'agree to disagree'. And the situation with your DD would tear me up.

    Timely article in the NYT about gender gaps in vaccine rates. Some is attributable to higher % of women in the various high priority fields, but also...fair amount of resistance/refusal: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/22/h...and-women.html
    ~ Dawn
    Our little monkey (4/2011) & his early holiday present 12/12

  2. #22
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ncat View Post
    I'm not even happy that he's making the unilateral decision for himself! The idea that he would quit his job if asked to get the vaccine terrifies me. I'd also prefer that he avoid getting sick, I don't want to have to care for him or even take over for his domestic responsibilities if he gets sick due to vaccine refusal. And our younger kids can't get the vaccine.
    I'm NOT anti-vax but I am pro personal medical freedom. I believe each person needs to make these decisions for themselves for their own body. I get that it's stressfull to be totally on different pages on the topic though.

  3. #23
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melaine View Post
    I'm NOT anti-vax but I am pro personal medical freedom. I believe each person needs to make these decisions for themselves for their own body. I get that it's stressfull to be totally on different pages on the topic though.
    but that decision to quit his job affects the whole family. So, it's a much bigger discussion.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrisM View Post
    Does your DD want to get it? I'd have a pro con talk with her and let her decide what she wants. Maybe she doesn't get the full final say at 16, but she's old enough to have a good part of that decision.

    I also agree that neither DH or I have a full decision making power for the kids. We'd talk and figure out how to agree. Just because he doesn't want her to have it shouldn't mean your opinion is meaningless.

    Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
    Agree with this. A sixteen year old should be able to decide for herself.

  5. #25
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    but that decision to quit his job affects the whole family. So, it's a much bigger discussion.
    Yes, I definitely agree with you 100%!

  6. #26
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ncat View Post
    DD wants to get it. And I don't know how she can practically get a summer job if she doesn't - with needing to quarantine for any travel or exposure.

    H is beyond having any rational discussions - I see no point in trying. He just babbles about the "Kung-flu" and how there is no real pandemic, its all political, etc. I have to do all school pick ups and sports stuff because he refuses to wear a mask outdoors.

    All of the kids are up to date on their vaccinations. This has never been a question before.
    wow, i am so sorry. i can't imagine dealing with this level of delusion in a spouse. i get that some are vaccine-hestitant (many with good reasons) but this takes it to another level - especially since it sounds like he refuses to see that his choices negatively affect you and your DD. To me that is some pretty low level of disrespect.

    I agree with the other posts who say to just take your DD to get it, if she wants to get it. Why do you have to abide by his demands, if he wont' give you the basic respect (refusing to wear a mask upon pick up - so now you have to do everything?). I don't see it as "sneaking around his back" at all...I see it as putting your child's well-being and health first. Sorry you are in this situation.

  7. #27
    ncat is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Update - DD got shot #1 on Sunday. Have not talked to H about it. Waiting for something to blow up at some point.

  8. #28
    klwa is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    I'm glad to hear that your daughter was able to do what she felt was best. Good luck with the fall out.
    -Kris
    DS (9/05)
    DD (8/08)
    DD (9/12)

  9. #29
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I'm glad she got her shot. I hope the fallout is minimal. The situation stinks - I'm in a similar place and I get it.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  10. #30
    ray7694 is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    My ds is 16 and I let him guide the decision and he wanted to get it. I hate that politics have crept into health decisions.

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