Update Post 33. Eagle Scout Question?

[Percycat]

My family went through this process last year. The most challenging thing for my son to learn to do was calling people and asking for help. We coached him and had him practice with us. We also helped DS make a schedule with deadlines for him to complete various tasks.

One of the hardest things was deciding on a project. Originally, he was going to do a "project" that he was passionate about [he wanted to build a music wall structure for young children], but eventually decided to do a project for a group that he admired. His project supported an early child program that provides pediatric therapy and early intervention services to children with disabilities or developmental delays. He learned they needed a scooter ramp when he went to talk to them. Not a project he would have come up with on his own, but a completely appropriate project for demonstrating the leadership skills required for the Eagle Rank.

I have led several girls through Bronze and Silver awards and am a council advisor for the Gold Award. Despite routine comparison of the Girl Scout awards to the BSA Eagle Rank, they are different. I do agree that it is important for girls to be passionate about a project for the Girl Scout Gold award because of the expectation that the project address a problem and provide sustainable and measurable impact. I do not think a boy scout has to be passionate about his project, but he has to be committed to completing the project. Once your son figures out his project (and that can be as easy as asking a charitable organization what they need), he can use the Eagle Scout Service Project Workbook to complete the steps.

I suggest you encourage your son to complete his plan this summer and then plan to execute the project early next fall (or this summer, if he can get the project review early). This way the tedius work will be completed before school work resumes.

FYI -- you probably know this, but once he turns 18, he is an adult for purposes of scouts. You are so close to supporting him through the entirety of scouts. Your husband only has a few more months to pay dues.... : ) Good luck to your son!

[bisous]

My family went through this process last year. The most challenging thing for my son to learn to do was calling people and asking for help. We coached him and had him practice with us. We also helped DS make a schedule with deadlines for him to complete various tasks.

One of the hardest things was deciding on a project. Originally, he was going to do a "project" that he was passionate about [he wanted to build a music wall structure for young children], but eventually decided to do a project for a group that he admired. His project supported an early child program that provides pediatric therapy and early intervention services to children with disabilities or developmental delays. He learned they needed a scooter ramp when he went to talk to them. Not a project he would have come up with on his own, but a completely appropriate project for demonstrating the leadership skills required for the Eagle Rank.

I have led several girls through Bronze and Silver awards and am a council advisor for the Gold Award. Despite routine comparison of the Girl Scout awards to the BSA Eagle Rank, they are different. I do agree that it is important for girls to be passionate about a project for the Girl Scout Gold award because of the expectation that the project address a problem and provide sustainable and measurable impact. I do not think a boy scout has to be passionate about his project, but he has to be committed to completing the project. Once your son figures out his project (and that can be as easy as asking a charitable organization what they need), he can use the Eagle Scout Service Project Workbook to complete the steps.

I suggest you encourage your son to complete his plan this summer and then plan to execute the project early next fall (or this summer, if he can get the project review early). This way the tedius work will be completed before school work resumes.

FYI -- you probably know this, but once he turns 18, he is an adult for purposes of scouts. You are so close to supporting him through the entirety of scouts. Your husband only has a few more months to pay dues.... : ) Good luck to your son!

Thank you. This perspective is great and really helps. The funny thing is, DS1 has already done a ton of work on selecting a project, calling, visiting people, etc. Each time he had something nailed down, some major event happened. School started up again, the charity changed their mind, the world shut down for COVID... etc. But he still has all that experience in reaching out. I'm really confident he can pull this off!

[bisous]

So guys...Update.

DS1 has 2 months until he turns 18...and I don't think he's going to get his Eagle. I have been feeling so badly about this. I had to determine why it was bothering me and what it comes down to is that I feel like he's SO close. Like just needs to meet with two MB counselors (he's done all the work) and do his project. I don't feel like it will change who he is at this point. I just feel like he might be filled with regret if he made it this far and decided not to go through with it.

I've been praying about how to help him. He has a lot to do. Still needs to learn to drive, scraping by with a low A for his math class this summer (that has been a bit of a bummer), he needs to take ACT, SAT etc. Lots of stuff to get ready. And he's still struggling with his mental health issues. The most pressing has been a strong resurgence of OCD symptoms when he gets stressed.

The answer to my prayer today was to talk to him about what needs to be done and trust him to pick what is best for him right now. He picked working on his mental health, although he agreed to attend the tests if I sign him up for them! I promised him that I'd defer to what he wants for his life and that's my plan for now. I know I could "incentivize" him to get his Eagle award. But I think it is ok for him not to see this all the way through. I hope he doesn't regret it. I do think he will appreciate that we trusted him and let him own it. But it is still hard.

Thought I'd update. I think there were a few boys on the board that were in a similar position?

[gatorsmom]

If it isn’t important to him, then I wouldn’t push him. It sounds like he’s dealing with quite a load right now. If he doesn’t care about it, I wouldn’t push him, particularly because it’s a very stressful project. Two months is VERY tight. If he really wanted to achieve this, I’d think he would have indicated that back in April when you first posted about it.

If however, he decides he really wants this, he should email/text/call his troop leader tonight to talk about how he can pull this off.

Ds1 finished his project but it was close and it was very stressful. To complicate matters, that was the week his girlfriend was struggling with suicidal thoughts. He really struggled with the details of his project. I asked Ds1 several times, “is this what you want? Because if so, you need to prioritize. You need to get you head wrapped around it.” He always said he wanted it and he was determined to get it. Because of that, we helped get other things out of his way so he could focus on his project. If he hadn’t really cared about it, if it was mainly me that wanted to see him get his Eagle, then I would have (begrudgingly) backed off.

[KpbS]

My DS finished his project etc at the end of 2020 but we are just now having his Court of Honor in the coming weeks.

I am 90% sure there are extensions you can file and ask for due to mental health and Covid. I’ll see if I can find them.

[KpbS]

Yes, he can apply for an extension with his local council to complete those merit badges, a projects
, etc. https://www.scouting.org/coronavirus/covid-19-faq/

There is paperwork to fill out (project proposal) which you can help him with and various meetings to be had for project approval. The project does not need to be complicated, long, or original. It can be as simple as a park work day, a clothing drive, etc. My DS built benches for his favorite summer camp. He considered building a little free library in a nearby community. We choose a project that could be completed with just 4-5 scouts/volunteers so we could be sure to get it done without a ton of help.

Petition for the extension.
I’d encourage him to get the MB done ASAP (my DS did several of his last ones online) and chose a project topic. Then begin that paperwork for approval. He can do it!!

[Percycat]

I agree with Kpbs. I would encourage your son to meet with the merit badge counselors -- particularly since he has already done the work -- and request an extension for completing the Eagle Rank requirements.

If he ultimately decides not to do the project -- okay -- but at least he will have more time to decide and maybe will be in a better place to complete the project.

Either way, congratulations for letting your son figure out what is important to him and supporting him with his choices. I admire you as a mom.

[ezcc]

I missed this first time around, but just jumping in to say that I know a few adults that have big regrets about not finishing their Eagle Rank- and they are in their 50s! I mean, obviously they have had successful lives and it hasn't held them back but they still talk about it being something they wish they had finished. If he can get an extension I would give that a shot. In the end though, there is a reason people don't finish- it's challenging! and it comes at a busy time of life.

[bisous]

Update again...Just submitted an extension request. We'll see if they accept. He just needs a project and he really wants to finish. He has a letter from a doctor that explains his diagnoses and when I see it on paper, I recognize that he really has been disadvantaged and I hope the extension is granted. He has type 1 diabetes and ADHD and has had them for over a decade. He suffered from acute Anxiety and Depression during COVID. Put together it makes me realize that his "achievements" of carrying on during the past year, getting great grades and being a pretty decent person are quite the accomplishment in an of themselves. I hope he is granted the extension but we've come to a place of peace that he's done his best and now it is in other people's hands. Thank you for the encouragement. I've stepped WAY back (and stayed there) and this came from him. It was the right way to handle it whatever happens!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Hope it works out. A friend, who raised 3 Eagle Scouts, said that many kids held bike rodeos. They were easy, successful and counted as their project. Just passing that ice in if you need one.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains