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  1. #1
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    Default Would you ask others if they have been vaccinated?

    We have been on the extremely cautious side throughout the pandemic. My kids have not done any in-person school or extracurricular activities since the pandemic began. DH and I are close to being fully vaccinated, but our kids are too young to receive theirs. We'd like to start resuming some of our pre-covid activities, but I guess I'm not entirely sure where to begin. I was thinking about doing some playdates with families we haven't seen in over a year, but I'd feel much better about it knowing that the parents were vaccinated. Is that a strange thing to flat out ask other mom's that you have not had in-person contact with in over a year? It just seems like everyone here is 'over it' and has already resumed normal life. So while I'd love it if another parent was very cautious and asked me, I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority at this point.
    I guess I'm just kind of brainstorming how to have summer be somewhat normal for my kids, while also continuing to be "covid safe". The kids' usual summer camps aren't asking for kids to wear masks this year, and I'm probably not going to be comfortable with that. I'm curious when/how others who have been extremely cautious throughout the pandemic are easing back into life, when their young children still aren't vaccinated.

  2. #2
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    DH and I are fully vaxxed. Ds1 has his second vax next week. About half of the people I know are vaxxed the other half are afraid of it and probably won’t get it. Whatever. To each his own. I don’t want to get into a big discussion about it with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. But we do want to hang out with friends so we will be mostly hanging out outside or in rooms with windows open and good air flow and small groups of people. My kids are bugging me about sleepovers and since the weather is getting nicer, I’m going to encourage campovers like last summer.

    Taking precautions on our end means I won’t have to ask people if they are vaccinated. I just don’t want to have to do that.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  3. #3
    jgenie is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    We are the outliers in our groups. I’m planning to continue as if no one is vaccinated. We will keep play dates and activities outside until we are all vaccinated. I’m having trouble thinking of all the precautions we took before we were vaccinated and just dropping those before my entire family is vaccinated. I don’t see the point in my asking people if they are vaccinated. Most kids are not vaccinated and that is who my kids will be physically near.
    Last edited by jgenie; 05-06-2021 at 09:54 PM.

  4. #4
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I would agree with the jgenie and gatormom. I would keep things outside and assume people are not vaccinated. Decide what is acceptable to you regarding kids and parents and masking when you get together and share/ask about that.

    If you are going to ask if parents are vaccinated, I would recommend started out with more general questions like how have things been going for you all given the pandemic, what have you been up to...and stating we are vaccinated and have been very cautious. I would maybe ask after that statement..but personally since the kids are not vaccinated and may or may not have contact with others, it matters less to me if there parents are vaccinated or not.
    lucky single mom to 20 yr old dd and 17 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  5. #5
    bcafe is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I would never ask about personal medical information. That is a rabbit hole no one should go down.

  6. #6
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    This is gonna get tricky, isn't it??

    We're similar to jgenie and assuming no one else is vaccinated. Kids aren't vaccinated yet, so that's easy. My own kids can't hang out indoors with other kids (or other adults outside our immediate vaccinated family) until my own kids are vaccinated.

    For the most part, my social circle is small enough/people are active enough on social media that I know who is vaccinated and who isn't but for now it almost doesn't matter when it comes to playdates - kids aren't vaccinated. So, we're proceeding the same way as we have been for the past year+ (which is very limited outdoor playdates).

    If your kids are old enough, ask them - they may know! My kids know which of their friends have parents who have gotten vaccinated vs those who aren't going to get vacccinated.

    I personally wouldn't feel comfortable outright asking someone if they're vaccinated.

    Once we're all vaccinated (including our kids), then I am going to make myself be OK with them hanging out indoors with other kids, whether those other kids are vaccinated or not. Because the bottom line is that not everyone is gonna get vaccinated and if we want to get back to "normal", we will need to be OK with protecting ourselves by being vaccinated, and then just being OK that we may hang out with other people are not gonna be vaccinated. Not sure how I will feel about larger gatherings like parties but I don't see that happening for us anytime soon...we're just not all that social.
    Last edited by twowhat?; 05-06-2021 at 08:25 PM.

  7. #7
    MSWR0319 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    For us it doesn't really matter if the parents are vaccinated, the kids still aren't. And if the kids are hanging out with other families who's kids aren't vaccinated they can still pick it up and pass it unless they're bubbling properly, which let's face it no one is even thinking about bubbling anymore around here. We haven't allowed the kids to be inside with anyone who is unvaccinated without masks on. The only unvaccinated people in our house has been my niece and nephew and they all kids wore masks when they were here. I wasn't super comfortable with it, but my sister is going through a divorce and had no where else for the kids to go.

    Our kids have been playing outside with friends. I'm ok with outside play and my kids are capable of doing a pretty good job of staying distanced. You can always have your kids wear masks outside as well. DS1 will hopefully be eligible for a vaccine next week. Once he's fully vaccinated that will change things. If his friends are fully vaccinated I will allow them in the house with DS2, as he would be the only unvaccinated person in the house. DS2 won't be allowed indoors with unvaccinated people until he can get his shot. I won't be the popular mom with that one.

    I wouldn't feel comfortable asking if someone was vaccinated. Even once of my closest friends never really said anything, so I was able to casually work into the conversation that I was almost fully vaccinated and she then said that she was as well. Luckily anyone I would want in my house, I know that they are vaccinated. DS1 will ask his friends more than likely and I'm ok with that. They're preteens and that kind of stuff doesn't bother them.
    Last edited by MSWR0319; 05-06-2021 at 08:26 PM.

  8. #8
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcafe View Post
    I would never ask about personal medical information. That is a rabbit hole no one should go down.

    I was on our neighborhood Facebook group and got into a disagreement with someone over whether it was ok for her to have asked her waiter if they were vaccinated. It's just not your business, especially since masks are still required here and that business has done a good job with their staff.

    I do feel a bit differently with friends but I would probably volunteer it for myself and hope that they replied in kind. "Just so you know, I am all vaccinated as is my dh." And see if they say the same. Knowing my circle it would be very surprising if others didn't volunteer it and I feel like most have already shared on social media that they are vaccinated.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe View Post
    I would agree with the jgenie and gatormom. I would keep things outside and assume people are not vaccinated. Decide what is acceptable to you regarding kids and parents and masking when you get together and share/ask about that.

    If you are going to ask if parents are vaccinated, I would recommend started out with more general questions like how have things been going for you all given the pandemic, what have you been up to...and stating we are vaccinated and have been very cautious. I would maybe ask after that statement..but personally since the kids are not vaccinated and may or may not have contact with others, it matters less to me if there parents are vaccinated or not.
    I think this is a good suggestion. I can’t imagine asking someone I’ve had no contact with in the last year, but I am finding the vaccine to get rid of a lot of filters about what is appropriate to ask. I know the vaccine status (including dates that people got their shots) of my whole social circle and many of the school walkers (who are kind of my new social circle this year as they are the people I see most consistently). There’s been plenty of talk about when and how people qualified, so I don’t think it’s totally off the table to simply ask if they’ve been fully vaxed if you can work it into conversation.
    momma to DD 12/08 & DS 3/13

  10. #10
    MSWR0319 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Just saw this on Apple News
    https://apple.news/AhBq9CloRSg-LCO-1mBX3Dw

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