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Thread: I give up

  1. #1
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default I give up

    Iíve reached out over a dozen times to ask one of DDís friends to come over. The mom initially said a specific week would work. Then multiple reasons for other times/days/weeks why they wonít work. I resolved to stop asking. I asked at the end of last week and she said Iíll get back to you (today) once I know our plans. Nothing. I reached out again today after DD begged me to ask one more time. I offered to do all of the driving and it would be for less than 2 hrs of playing. No response. Today she says, let me check! Then 2 hours later, no it wonít work (her DD will just be waiting on siblings in between activities).

    My DD adores this friend and vice versa per the mom. Theyíve known each other a year.
    Iíve spoken in person to the mom many times and brought a meal. Itís so hard to not take it personally because it feels like such a rejection.
    K

  2. #2
    PunkyBoo is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I'm sorry I know how frustrating that is, and that it hurts. But please remember that they just may have some other stuff going on in their family that makes this hard, and maybe it's not you/your DD at all.

    Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

    Mama to DS1 Punkin (2/04) and DS2 Boo (1/09)

  3. #3
    petesgirl is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    We've had that problem with friends before too. It sucks trying to explain to kids why they can't play with the friend they want.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  4. #4
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    That's hard and I'm sorry for your DD. My guess is it's not you or your DD but something they have going on. Sometimes life is complicated and busy and even one more thing on the calendar feels like it will tip you over.
    Mom to Two Wild and Crazy Boys and One Sweet Baby Girl

  5. #5
    Liziz is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Honestly, coordinating play dates is seriously one of my least favorite parts of parenting, hands down. I've had similar experiences and it's sooooo frustrating! I agree with everyone else that I'm sure it has nothing to do with yall and my guess is that family just doesn't do many playdates, period -- but it still is so frustrating!
    Lizi

  6. #6
    bisous is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I feel like I'm that flaky parent. I know it sucks on the other end. I don't blame you for feeling frustrated. All I can offer is that it is very likely not a reflection on how the parent feels about you or your kid. I'm just really, really busy putting all the balls into the air. I can keep it together, but barely and something like that that takes a certain amount of coordination just might be the ball that throws off my equilibrium. I don't know if that helps! I'm sorry you can't seem to work it out. Friends are important. I think it is really possible it is not a rejection!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    I feel like I'm that flaky parent. I know it sucks on the other end. I don't blame you for feeling frustrated. All I can offer is that it is very likely not a reflection on how the parent feels about you or your kid. I'm just really, really busy putting all the balls into the air. I can keep it together, but barely and something like that that takes a certain amount of coordination just might be the ball that throws off my equilibrium. I don't know if that helps! I'm sorry you can't seem to work it out. Friends are important. I think it is really possible it is not a rejection!
    Agreed with this.
    Angie

    Mom to
    DD- 9/09-9/09
    DS- 2011 DS2- 2012 DS3- 2015 DD-2019

  8. #8
    infocrazy is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Me too on being the flaky parent. Sounds like active siblings too. My example problem is that DS8 will also be waiting for siblings today...but it isn't close by. So if there is a playdate request, he could in theory do it...however you would need to keep him closer to 6 hrs since 2 hrs doesn't work out since I won't be able to get him then. I can totally see why she needs time to figure it out (waiting for game schedules or trying to see if the other kids can be accounted for...etc). My example may not be your case but I totally get the juggle.

    For sure don't take it personal though. I also feel guilty sometimes accepting playdates because we can rarely reciprocate...so I hesitate sometimes accepting accepting first place. Friends tell me I'm crazy but can't help it...
    Jen

    DS in X-Small 7/12, Medium 5/07, and Large 7/05, one DD 3/10, and our DS 4/09 watching over us.

  9. #9
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    Honestly, coordinating play dates is seriously one of my least favorite parts of parenting, hands down. I've had similar experiences and it's sooooo frustrating! I agree with everyone else that I'm sure it has nothing to do with yall and my guess is that family just doesn't do many playdates, period -- but it still is so frustrating!


    I so wish we have friends in the neighborhood the kids could just run around with. This whole playdate thing is so frustrating and it's hard to not take the lack of response (or reciprocal) invites personally!
    ~ Dawn
    Our little monkey (4/2011) & his early holiday present 12/12

  10. #10
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    And I’ve invited the whole family two more times. One she replied they had some commitments that day (24 hrs after the invite when I questioned the text) and the most recent invite she never replied to. Who does that? No thanks for thinking of us, maybe another time, etc just no reply text.

    I’m done. We can just hang out with folks who want to be better friends.
    DD knows these friends won’t come over.
    K

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